Good day

2timer

I was dx with my 2nd BC (1st was dcis in 2007), July 2nd 2013. I was so muddled emotionally at the time that I waited almost 2 months to have the bmx surgery with immediate reconstruction on 8/28/13. After that DD chemo for 14 weeks; my last Taxol was on 1/30/14. I worked through the first half of chemo then stayed home for the 2nd half.

I lost all of my hair (kept a few hairs until the end of chemo when I went totally bald).

I was weak and had problems with my digestive system that were worse than the effects of chemo. I also developed some mild neuropathy in my feet that hasn't resolved.

Even though I was in "battle mode", i.e. keeping myself together and doing what I had to do to get through treatment, I was often depressed and frightened. Quite frankly I still am at times.

Anyway, I went back to work a couple of months ago and I'm slowly getting back my strength -- I'd say maybe 90% of it is back. Today I decided that I would not wear my wig to work anymore because I hated it, even though people told me I looked fine. My head is covered with about an inch of hair that is going everywhere. I got so many compliments on my hair that I'm now wig free!! It's a little thing but it marks a big step for me. I am beginning to feel that life is beginning to return to normal (a bit). Don't get me wrong -- my life will never be the same after what I've gone through, but little things like going without a wig, working full time, being strong enough to do chores/activities that I did before treatment makes me feel like it's over and I am moving on.

I still think about cancer (especially recurrence) a lot but I am beginning to feel that I made it and that things will continue to get better. I guess what I am trying to say is that THINGS DO GET BETTER. I got through active treatment and am making it to the other side. Somehow taking off that wig and wearing my "real" hair has really made me feel like I am going to be alright. I know I don't know what the future holds and I know I will always deal with the aftermath of treatment in some form. But I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and brighter and that I am close to settling in to my "new normal".

momand2kids

2 timer-

I so remember the moment I stopped wearing my wig-- 6/27/09----- it had been 7 months and my hair was starting to grow outside the wig!! it was very short and I had it colored--- it was too light, but I did not care--I LOVED that I did not have to wear the wig to work or everywhere else---- I loved the feeling of the sun on my head, wind through my hair and rain.... still really love the way that feels!!!

It does get better--it is often baby steps, but I agree--- hopefully next week at my onc appointment I will be released from my hormonal therapy and then really be DONE!!!  

AKJ

ooooooo I so look forward to that! Ditching the wig, having energy, is that really going to happen?

MsPharoah

2Timer.  So happy for you!  I also remember ditching my wig and the shocked looks on the faces of my coworkers.  LOL.  I love my pixie cut so much that I am going to keep it! 

And AKJ....yes it will really happen.  I had my last chemo on 7/20/13 and by around mid January, 2014, I was not wearing my wig on weekends and by mid February, I was completely wig-less. It takes shorter or longer for each person, but I think mine was about right in the middle.    You will also get your energy back, too.  

What I love now is not thinking about cancer 24X7.  I actually wake up most mornings and it is not the first thing I think about.  A good day indeed. 

Love to all the tired and hairless!  There is a bright tomorrow. 

MsP

momand2kids

It will indeed happen!!!

AKJ

I can't wait.