Best friend just diagnosed

lily32

Hi everyone,

To be honest with you all I'm not really sure where to start but I have been feeling rather alone lately and I would love other people who are experiencing the same thing to chat to and get support and ideas from so I can then support my friend.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer about three weeks ago and has a masectomy and a lymph node biopsy scheduled for April the 10th.  She doesn't have any other family, a partner or many friends around, except for her mum who is really struggling to be much support as she is hardly handling the news.  I have organised my mother and father in-law to come and watch my kids for a week so I can be with my friend for her surgery and stay with her after her surgery to help her with anything that she needs.  I am just wondering what kinds of things I should think about or plan that can help my friend before and after her surgery.  

I am really thankful to have found this forum!!!  I have wondered over the last few weeks if there is such a place to be about to chat to other people about who are experiencing similar things.  

juneping

you are a very good friend....all I can tell you was when my sister took off work and came to take care of me. That act alone touched me deeply. She came the day before my surgery and went to the surgery with me. After that she came to pick me up. She basically took care of me prepared three meals and listen to me. I had 35 nodes removed so I could not really used my right arm due to pain. She washed my hair....taking a shower was challenging at the time. After getting the path report, she did more research for mr bc I was in shock....

I could only speak from my experience and having someone to go thru that was very heart warming. You are such a caring soul. God bless you and your friend.

tangandchris

How wonderful you are to do this!!

It's good to be prepared for her, because she may not even know what she needs. I remember after my surgery just feeling totally overwhelmed with everything. Be ready for her drains, these will need to be emptied a few times a day. She can easily do it herself, but you may need to help her the first few times. She will need extra pillows to prop on as she won't able to lay on her sides or tummy. also if she is having lymph work she will probably want an extra pillow under that arm.

((hugs))

MRSROCKYTOP55

What a wonderful friend you are.  Lots of great ideas above.  Let her talk about anything, her fears, her hopes, just let her have someone who will listen and not compare her situation to anyone else's.  Don't ask her if she needs help with things, like housework, cooking, etc., just do it for her.  Wish I had had you when I was diagnosed.  God Bless, Kathy