Dissatisfaction w/TRAM reconstr surgery)

Bailey5

Hey!  I am just 4 years out; 6 surgeries in; s/p BM w/TRAM flap reconstruction. I hate to sound ungrateful; but I am totally unhappy with the end result of my breast reconstruction surgery.  

My PS assured me all along that if after time I was unhappy; she would perform a breast lift and insurance would cover it.  So I agreed to surgery # 6; which was in fact performed (along w/Unilateral hip liposuction and B liposuction to result in reconstruction breast reduction) and paid in full by insurance compsny.

There are many reasons why I am unhappy with my end result; here are a few:

Due to abdinal bludgeon; it's as if it's one huge stomach; my chest gets unbearably cold; constant numbness, and when I lay down I'm flat as a board and they both lie to one side, right where my armpits should be.

Well, that's it!  Where do I go from here?  I really want them removed completelyor or lifted or replaced with plants (as I feel I made wrong choice).  I cannot wear a bra due to sever friction burn and redness/due to numbness and hot flashes.

Oh one other question, or two:  1. does anyone else have flashbacks daily, due to commercials about awareness?  I freeze in m tracks and usually cryiny. 2. I also lost my career:  and have memory lapse, concentration/problem solving issues, chronic pain and have chronic fatigue and insomnia due to all this!

This also may be for different forum question; but while I'm thinking of it: how do I shake the feeling this isn't over for me.  Have never had baseline MRI or CT  or Pet scans?

I don't know how to PM so if necessary, please instruct me as needed😢

Thank you all so much!  Happy Spring!  

Bailey5

just remembered one other question;

I received lump sum retro check while still collecting LTD; and my insurance wants me to pay them back?  I've paid income tax on this money as well.

Anyone ever splurge after all the surgeries on their trip or trips of a lifetime?  You know, you think @simeday Ill do this knowing you have another 30-40 years to save n make it happen; then after all is said n done with the cancer; I now have overwhelming urge to do 5 trips in my lifetime:  1. Europe/Meditteranen Cruise (including Ireland, Scotland, England, Germany, France,Italy, Spain & any other nearby country that can be thrown in. 

2. Hawaii; 3. Alaska; 4. Road trip in RV across country, Route 66 (wherever that is), and Nat'l parks, 5. Australia!

My husband god love him; is stuck on our every 2 year Mexico all inclusive which we've done 5 times; I've insisted we halt this and do a few in my wish list; but prob due to the expense; he has halted all bug trips?? I gotta make him see time is precious; and we must do these things while we can.

Oh our agreed upon end goal is to retire on a houseboat.  Any thoughts or experience on this is welcome.  We live in Boston area now.

Thankyou!  Much Love to all!  Forgive my flight of ideas on the above staggered topics!  Sometimes it's worse than others!

vlnrph

So sorry your surgical results were disappointing. If your plastic surgeon is not a breast specialist (or even if she is!) maybe you could get another opinion?

I tend to experience "scanxiety" whenever screening time comes up but no flashbacks, per se. I don't like all the pink product promotion either, especially in October. There might be a social worker or nurse at your clinic who could help by talking out some of these concerns with you. Their finance department may have a counselor who knows about disability payments/insurance questions.

I retired at age 56 about a year ago in order to travel. Your list looks great. I think going to the same place would be boring. We liked Scotland & England last summer, did an Alaska cruise for our 25th anniversary in 2008 and would love to visit Hawaii. Route 66 snakes across the lower section of the US: have only been on part of it. Add New Zealand to the Australia trip for another fun destination.

No advice regarding the houseboat - I have way too much junk that would have to be gotten rid of.  Hope you can sort things out and get ideas from other gals...

NatsFan

Bailey - First, I agree with vln about getting a second opinions.  I had a DIEP recon and am very pleased with it - I honestly forget most of the time that they are not the original "girls".  When I did my first consult with my PS, she said she'd do as many surgeries on my as I needed until I was happy. When my major surgeries were done, I had a couple of minor "tweaking" surgeries at my request to even them out and minimize scarring - those extra minor surgeries really made the difference for me.  It certainly wouldn't hurt to have another PS take a look and see what he/she thinks can be done.

As for the fun part of your post,  last year DH and I did a 14 day trip to England, Scotland, N. Ireland, Ireland, and Wales as a celebration of our 30th anniversary and me finishing my 5 years on letrozole.  We normally go places on our own and don't normally do bus tours, but in this case a guided tour was absolutely perfect for us.  We didn't have to worry about driving, booking hotels, or figuring out what sights to see.  For a first time trip, I can recommend it.  Here's the tour we did: 

http://www.cietours.com/us/escorted_tour/2014/brit...

hat I liked about it was that all the admissions were included - Stonehenge, the Roman Baths in Bath, Cardiff Castle, Edinburgh Castle, Alnwick Castle (where they filmed scenes from the Harry Potter movies), Tower of London, Thames River Cruise, Titanic Experience in Belfast, ferry across the Irish sea, tours with local guides in each city, etc. etc. I've been on cruise ships before and it seemed that every time we landed at a new port nothing was included - we always had to pay extra for any tours or entry to local attractions and those tours were pricey!!  That didn't happen on this bus trip - we just had to pay for lunches and of course any alcohol we had, but all the other excursions were included in the tour price.   

Bailey5

thx Mary n vinph (so?)!

Lots to think about!  I appreciate your input!  ESP bout seeing another PS.  I didn't mention in my earlier post that for some reason I cannot wear a bra, and this doesn't help as far as perkiness goes.

I get excoriated under B breasts; can't feel it but not pretty...

Anonymous

I have all of #1. See my post about looking for women like me. Don't have time to write now.

SABINA62509

I also had the trm flap... worst descion of my life. 

Now i have nerve damage. constant pain in the right arm, weakness, and lyphedema.

i also have the numbness in the arm and stomach area. and turns out now i have a hernia from the surgery. but not much can be done but

steriod shots. and they don't last too long. trying for disability but was warned i probably won't get. can't work. but i'm happy I'm still here, and enjoying life

with my grandkids. not that i can do much anymore. wish i was explained better on the possible outcomes from the surgery from my PS. i did ask questions, just not the right ones i guess.  lol