Starting Chemo in April 2014

mmtagirl

Just curious, is anyone have a worse time with the mental SEs vs the physical?  

I am extremely frustrated with the IDRS syndrome.  I am misplacing important documents, getting in arguments with my DH about things he said I did and HE WATCHED ME and I don't remember it.  Not big stuff but little minutiae that adds up.  I really am beginning to thing I have chemo induced bi-polar syndrome.  I am either extremely positive and manically upbeat and getting sH$t done at home and work or I am in a room by myself with tears coming from nowhere.  Or, I have no filter and say whatever is on my my mind No matter what the circumstance.

When I feel good I try to accomplish as much as possible but I am finding that my body isn't telling me when I have over done it but my mind is.  I get extremely irritable and overly sensitive.  And, most likely cry.  Maybe, the hormones kicking in with chemo pause?  I don't know but it is extremely frustrating.  I hate it that I now second guess myself on everything and can't defend my answers or decisions anymore because I freaking can't remember!  I told my DH yesterday that I truly thought I was going crazy....I have never been like this before.

I know I have a lot going on between all this BC stuff, working, my only child graduating high school this week...lots of things to get emotional over. But, geesh, I think the chemo brain is worse than the neutropenia and colitis.  

Thanks for letting me rant....

jhodro

mmtagirl: Yes! maybe not to the extreme you describe, but I find multi-tasking is impossible. I forget stupid things, I have ZERO patience for anything, I cry over too much (not something that I generally do at all) and I'm not able to focus at all. I have 3 more weeks left of my master's program, and honestly trying to do my final paper is excruciating. My poor family. I know and they know I'm not myself, but how long will this last?

And, thanks everyone for the input on the Ativan and Pepcid. Heartburn is so unpleasant!

Funclassygal

This was great to read as I was just diagnosed 4 days ago.  How is it all going for you?  Thanks, VeraAnn

Funclassygal

This was great to read as I was just diagnosed 4 days ago.  How is it all going for you?  Thanks, VeraAnn

Funclassygal

Hi Long Island, just wondering who you chose for your surgeon?  I am getting second opinions after always going to NYU in Manhattan.  Feel that I may want to be closer to home for this.  Thanks, VeraAnn

EverForward

I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm bipolar, but I do have emotional swings. During chemo week, I'm cranky and cry a lot (and I am not normally an emotional person) and it is hard to focus. During my "good" weeks, I find myself overly enjoying things I normally take for granted: nice weather, flowers, a sale at Ann Taylor.

Switching topics, Zantac has helped with my acid reflux and gas.

mmtagirl

Thanks Jhondro and Everforward.  Good to know others are experiencing similar symptoms.   Jhondro, wish you well on finishing your masters!

Jamieh and mameme, I hope you are both feeling better today.

I get an extra week off from chemo this week that my mo allowed so I can feel good on Friday for graduation.  It will be last round of AC the off to taxol.  Good luck to those that are in the chair this week.

Oh, I have tried both Pepcid and Prilosec when I was on the one round of Taxotere.  Prilosec worked much better for me.  

Welcome to our board VeraAnn although sorry you are here.  Your diagnosis is still very fresh and I am sure you are still a bit stunned trying to figure it all out.  You will find these boards of wealth of information.   Most of us will also tell you that the waiting for a plan is the hardest part.  And, if you need chemo, you can see from this thread that you can manage through it.  It helps to have others like these great women to talk to and keep your sense of humor when you can!

Happy Monday!

SharonDe

mmtagirl - I think some of the emotional ups and downs can be exacerbated by how much else is going on in your life as well.  As you said, you have lots of other potentially stressful situations going on as well as treatment. I do think it's definitely an effect from the chemo drugs and the overall situation, and you are not crazy.

For example - I haven't shed a tear over diagnosis or treatment (feel very lucky how it's all turned out so far).  BUT, I find myself crying when the heroine gets the guy in a silly romance novel.  I knew something wasn't quite right when I started tearing up because a couple got their dream house on Property Brothers.  So, either I am just a batsh!t old lady, or these drugs are affecting emotions ...

jhodro

I guess we're all rooting for the couple to get the dream house on Property Brothers, so no worries there!! Definitely not you, Sharon, it's the drugs!!

LovebeingNana

mmtagirl - I can completely relate. My meltdowns don't always fit the scenario. In fact just today, I went to Physical therapy and all it took was her asking "How are you?" I had a good cry. And then my nose would NOT stop running thanks to having no nose hair.   

Hugs 

Ddkath70

thanks Mommyq, I'm only on my second pill and it's already helping. I had a weird night with fever spikes up to 100.4....almost go time.

I wanted to share something that my husband made for me. I may have mentioned it in an earlier post, if I did I'm claiming chemo brain. Lol. He wanted me to have something that not only shows the magnitude of the journey ahead of me , but something that would give equal weight to showing the progress.  My silver lining is that there are more good days on this schedule than bad, I have to remember that. Anyway, here it is, so very special to me:

I get to pop one balloon every night, each day representing one of the 84 days on my journey. Those 6 little days that I popped have been pretty darn tough. I never imagined that amount if pain from the shot. I can deal with pain, but that was worse then when I broke my leg and reset it. Everyone is different, but whoever doesn't feel anything from that shot, I envy you!!

Gnight

Blueberry4

I am in the chair tomorrow (Tuesday) with AC number three.  I really don't want to feel sick and go into that dark, dementor infested place again. I'm wishing you all the best and many SE free hours.

Ddkath70

good luck Blueberry!

LovebeingNana

Ddkath70 _ I love what your husband made you!!!! What a great visual…I hope you will share more pics as there are less and less balloons left!! I am with you on the bone pain. Tonight was almost unbearable. Claritin really did help it I can tell now that I haven't taken it! 

Blueberry4 - Go get 'em!!! I hope SE's stay away!!!

Ddkath70

thanks beingnana, it's only one clairiton a day, right?  I will have to pay more attention next time. 

So I'm going to sign up for the look good...feel better class. It seems like people were tornon the success of it and the quality if cosmetics.

Timbuktu

What a wonderful husband!  With support like that you will breeze through this, one balloon at a time!

mmtagirl

Blueberry, I am not in the chair with you this round, mine was pushed back a week so I could feel decent for my daughter's graduation ceremony on Friday.  I will be thinking of you! 

Kind of glad I have another week. I left work at 2:30 yesterday to come home and take a nap. I also had some mild hip and leg aches.  Unusual for me at 14 days out.

Ddkath, what a creative and thoughtful husband.  Hope your feeling better. 

Take care everyone,

Ann

MomMom

Ddkath,  Your husband rocks!!!  Love the balloon wall - what a lovely thing to do!  Yes!  You should post again as you pop more and more balloons.  May all of you suffering with SEs have fewer and fewer of them. 

I never had any boney pain warned of with Neulasta, but had been taking a daily Allegra for mild seasonal allergies for years.  Same idea as Claritin.  Don't know if all that anti-allergy stuff in my system had anything to do with it.

The LGFB cosmetics were pretty awesome.  I'm one of those who never leaves the house w/out make-up and had used Bare Minerals for years and loved it.  However, back before my first chemo in late February I went to the session and started using their make-up - liquid Estee L foundation, Avon compact, followed by some kind of Avon bronzer/blush multi color stuff swirled on with a brush.  It looked great!  I get lots of compliments on my skin. One of my friends from book club who went through ACT 12 years ago (still cancer free!) swears that the chemo does something flattering to your skin.  Really??  She says that she was constantly complimented on her skin while going through it.  If true, very weird silver lining.  Lol

jhodro

Blueberry: I'm in the chair today for number 7 of 12. 

Ddkath: Great, great idea! Love it!! So motivational to see the progress.

Mmtagirl: I was having leg aches and movement especially at night. If that sounds like what you're experiencing, my MO suggested Magnesium, which I've been taking about 10 days and it's much much better. Hope it's not too bad for you. Glad you get to have an extra week. It's so important to be able to enjoy such an important event!!

Happy Tuesday!!

Footballnut

hi all

Just caught up on the posts and am sorry for those having issues with SEs. I truly can't complain about mine so far. My next infusion is next wed. The last of FEC. This week I am finding it harder to get out of bed but once I get going I seem to be ok. My dry mouth isn't nearly as bad as last week thankfully. I find that my 2 nd round was easier than the first. My period lasted one whole day!!  Lol

Now I'm  all freaked out about diet again!  As a triple positive I have heard it all. No dairy. No sweets because of sugar. No meat. Eat like a rabbit. 

Well I had cream of wheat this morning with brown sugar and bran buds. Strike 1 - added sugar. I had a dark green salad with salmon for lunch. Ding - that's good. I can't live like this!

Hubby and I are going away to Niagara Falls tomorrow night returning Monday. I plan to eat like I always do and did. Pizza?  Probably when watching the hockey game. Oh oh!  Cheese!  Steak?  Yes, we have to go for a nice steak while away. Burger and fries?  Probably!  Even so we both don't eat burgers and fries 7 days a week!  But we did have smoked meat, fries and chopped liver on Saturday with my 91 year old mother

So, am I killing myself?  Some claim to know so much, others say we know nothing. I plan on eating from the four food groups which does include junk every now and then

Argh!!!!

Had a band practice last night !  It felt great to play guitar and sing again!  I also will be volunteering for the Canadian cancer society as an outreach volunteer and am so happy about that!  

Cold love the pink wig!  I want one!!  Lol

Ddkath your hubby is a king!  What a wonderful thing to do!!!!

I hope that for those of you with difficult SEs recover soon!  Let's keep counting the days!!!!!!

And then.......LETS GO RANGERS!!!!!

boobieprized

Crossposting because this forum seems a little more active.  

boobieprized

I am due for round three on Friday, but I have a pretty bad cold.  Stuffed up and coughing up a bit (sorry if tmi!).  Will they proceed with chemo?  Do I call now to see what they say?  I *really* don't want to postpone this.

linda505

Hi boobie - I would make them aware - are you running a temp?   Them may be able to give you something that will prevent you from having to delay treatment.  

boobieprized

No temp, just a yucky cold that hit like a ton of bricks.  Perhaps I will give them a call.  Thanks!

Swissmiss

I have a terrible cough and cold, but no fever, and my new doctor just ok'd my chemo for tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous about this infusion. First, my new MO told me to take literally twice as many steroids as my previous MO prescribed.  Why the big difference? I have to take five tablets 12 hours before, then five more 6 hours before my infusion.  I'm getting dense dose Taxol for the first time and I am worried about new side effects.  Also, a new nurse that I'm hoping won't have trouble accessing my port.  I'm already on red alert because the nurse who did my lab work this morning blew the vein in my arm, then had to draw blood from my hand. Four hours later I still have a huge bump on my hand from it...should I be worried? Ugh. Can I just quit chemo?

Longislandl8y

Hi girls.  I haven't posted in a while.  This is my good week but I'm just exhausted.  The chemo hadn't really affected my energy until this third round.  I'm just exhausted in the afternoon.  This coming weekend we celebrate my bday, my daughter's 18th bday and Father's Day since I know I'll be sick as a dog next weekend.  My bday is Sat. the 14th and my daughter's the 12th, but I get infused on the 10th, so... yeah. I got tix for the three of us to Belmont Stakes for this Saturday as an early Father's Day gift for him, so that should be fun.  He is excited about the possibility of California Chrome winning the Triple Crown.  Honestly though, all I can think about is having #4 behind me.  I can't wait to feel like I'm on the other side of the hump. 

My doctor also approved B6 and B12 as well as D and my multi. 

Ice Cream - I ate quite a bit of it the week of my infusion and am now wondering if that's why I got such bad diarrhea. I'm not going to do that next week.  Just something to think about. Dairy will do that.

I also take Pepcid for the heartburn.  I did not know that Prilosec was stronger.  Thanks for that info. 

It's really warm here in NY today.  I wanted to go for a walk after work, but now I just want to go home and take a nap.

Hope everyone is hanging in there today...

Timbuktu

We had a steroid mixup here.  First the dr said to take 20 mg at night.  when I got there in the morning the nurse said they only wanted me to have 8 mg at night and 8 in the morning because I had an ulcer.  I was curious and called the American Cancer Society and talked to an onco nurse.

she said that some places give no steroids now.  It's very flexible, apparently.

I think it's to prevent nausea but she said it can make you feel better all around.  

Taxol allergy can be bad.  I wonder if that has something to do with it?  they give me a lot of benedryl because rarely people can stop breathing from the allergy.  they cut back the dose on the second infusion but I made them aware that I had some itching between my toes and fingers, even with the big dose of benedryl so they did not cut back the dose the second time around.  actually, they did but I reminded them so they didn't.  I find I have to watch them very carefully.  I've caught mistakes like that every time.

I'm having an awful day in spite of it being week 3.  We went out for Greek food last night and it did not go down well.  I wound up taking a couple of dulcolax and a couple of prunes and OMG, the whole day I've had terrible cramps.  

I so know how you feel about quitting chemo!  I'm counting the days...89 to go for 6 infusions.  The dr did mention the possibility of cutting it to 3 infusions which would mean this Monday would be the last.  I really feel between a rock and a hard place.  The fear of those nasty cells vs the fear of these side effects.  No fun at all!

1

Swissmiss

I can't believe the dosage differences with the steroids...my  MO has me taking 20 mg twice, so 40 mg altogether before my infusion in the morning.  AND I get more during my infusion! Crazy...I wonder if it's because I'm doing high dose of Taxiol. The nurse said it was to prevent allergic reaction.

boobieprized

Are there a lot of different types of steroids?  I hate them and wish I could do away with them.  That is quite a discrepancy.

Called my onco and no fever, no problem.  Thank goodness.

Mompv

Footballnut enjoy Niagara Falls! I live 30 min from there. 

I keep following everyone here's progress. You are all being a help as I will be scheduling my treatments soon. My MO appt is Thursday. This is the day I tell him which treatment option I chose. 

Keep on staying positive I keep telling myself!!!!