Physical comfort and mastectomy vs reconstruction

MellaBella

Thank you ladies.

I'm going for a total M next week with no reconstruction. I asked for flat and that was that. : )

I know I should look up the proper acronym for this surgery, probably UMX, and become super well-read about my dx, but there is a part of me that just wants to process what I already know and come to peace and acceptance with that before I go further. I suppose it is just my way of coping ... in small stages.

Ariom

Hi MellaBella, I think you will feel much better now having made your decision. It is a huge change and we all process and accept in our own time. I wish you all the very best, please feel free to ask anything here, everyone is happy to help. 

UMX is Unilateral Mastectomy, or one breast, and  BMX is Bilateral, or both breasts.

I am a Uni without recon, if I can help, just ask.

barbe1958

Mella, I bet there is a HUGE weight lifted off your shoulders!!! Good for you for deciding before you hit the operating room....hehehehe. I did cry as they were strapping me down for my BMX and the nurse seemed surprised. Doi! She held my hand while they put me under. I had been so strong for everyone else, that it was my private time to let go. So don't be surprised if you cry, it doesn't mean your decision is wrong, it just means you need to release some grief.

Keep us posted, sweetie!

coraleliz

I cried upon being transferred from the recovery room to a hospital room after my BMX. The nurse tried to be sympathetic but just didn't get it. I wasn't sad about losing my breasts. I was so,so,soooo relieved that it was finally over!

barbe1958

I had a priest visit my room on my request. I think he was quite surprised when I asked for a prayer of thanks! Like you coral, I was relieved it was over. The decision made and it was done.

When I was in the green room before surgery, parents of a teen were allowed in there with their daughter. When she went into surgery they stayed there and cried together which really upset me. I asked a volunteer to have them leave. They had many places they could have gone for privacy and I wasn't allowed to have my DH in with me, so don't make it harder for the rest of us!!! (I had to wave to my daughter going into surgery about 10 years ago and I wasn't allowed into the green room. She was only 21 at the time and I would have loved to have held her hand.) I found the hardest part was to climb onto the operating table. I wish I'd been pre-medicated and relaxed enough that they would have rolled me in....

MellaBella

Oh barbe, no WONDER you were so emotional going into surgery. I have to admit, what you wrote upset me a little. Upset, as in, Oh goodness, I hope I am not being naiive thinking this won't be so hard.

My plan (ha), for the emotional side of things, is to decide to find some big girl panties, and decide that I'm going to go into surgery being thankful that I have choices and was able to go from dx to surgery with no treatment inbetween. So many women don't get that option or the choices I have been offered. So, gratitude will hopefully put a nice big cover over everything. : )

Ariom

MelaBella, I know this might just sound stupid to you, but my way of coping, was to actually speak to my breast the night before surgery to disengage. I had to stay the night before my surgery, on my own, in a Motel near the Hospital because I had a really early start for my SNB. I was really terrified, so I simply said, "You've let me down, you have to go!" I felt a calm come over me, and I actually managed to get some sleep.

When I arrived at the Hospital next morning for my SNB, which was another bone of contention for me, due to other people feeling the need to share, their negative experiences. That is something I'll never, ever, understand.

I was nervous, but then I had such a positive and pain free experience, with a wonderful tech, that I actually began to feel like I was bulletproof! The confidence began to rise and I managed to chat and joke all the way to surgery and continued to chat to the team all the way up to the sting in my hand and the lights going out!

I am not trying to minimize anyone's experience of this life changing event, we are all unique and go into this with many different feelings and fears, but I just wanted to throw my experience into the mix.

I was another who had no issue with losing my breast, I wanted it off...now! The relief I felt when I opened my eyes after the surgery, was incredible. My Surgeon was there, and I had asked him, that morning, in the operating theater to make it a really straight scar, because I wasn't going to reconstruct, and a lot of people were wanting to see this scar. His first words to me were, "You did really well! and I did as you asked, the scar is so straight I checked it with a spirit level!" I remember saying, "Oh wow, really!" in my drugged state and him laughing and saying "No!" LOL  

I didn't need any pain medication, and I spent the night walking the halls of the Hospital, chatting and drinking tea with the Nurses. Early next morning the Surgeon and Anesthetist arrived to see how I was doing. The dressing was removed for my first look at the results and I was fine with it. The surgeon said, "You look great, go home!"

I didn't mean to write a novel here, just to give you a snapshot of my experience.

I wish you all the very best, let us know how you get on! Big hugs to you!

barbe1958

I had to be at the hospital at 6 am, so of course I was there at 5:30!!! I had unfortunately seen a friend in a car beside mine at a light on the way there and he waved and smiled at me, not realizing where I was going. Then I had to wait.....until after 3 PM!!!!! I was nauseous and bored out OF MY MIND!!!! I had a wire sticking out of my chest (didn't hurt or anything, just annoying) and had been in the hospital johnny all day. My DH was as bored as I was and I just wanted it all to be done! Then the rush at the last minute with the emotional parents just put me over the edge. I was kind of glad I'd finally cried as I hadn't yet. I think I needed it as I haven't cried for them again. It wasn't so much the losing them, but just the emotional build up to the day and then the "hurry up and wait" aspect of it. I was fine when I woke up.

As a funny aside: After my hysterectomy years ago I went back to the surgeon for my post op and kind of "complained" about how crooked the scar line was. His response: "I went to Med school, not Art school." hehehehehehe I wonder how many years he waited to be able to say that....we laughed and laughed......!!!! 

aunt_paula

I also talked to my breasts, in the shower the morning of my surgery. I had grieved their anticipated loss, but never thought twice about doing the surgery, but that morning I needed some kind of closure. I told them that they had served me well, but that I couldn't tolerate their insubordination, and they had to go.

Ariom

I love that Aunt Paula, insubordination! Very funny!

Barbe, I was there very early too. I can't help it, it is my nature to always be early, so I understand how p'd off you must have been to have to wait so long. I have no  patience for waiting. I was lucky that I got in when my slot was booked, or I may have had a meltdown and a different experience!

barbe1958

I had to be there by 9 am for sure (told to book in at 6 - didn't realize that was a cattle call!) to get the wire insertion and they wanted a wide window in case I could have been taken earlier. When I booked in I asked what time my surgery was slated for and was sympathetically told 1 pm. I groaned at THAT time! Then the surgeries began to back up....I was so afraid I'd be bumped to the next day. I DID make sure my surgeon had eaten lunch and was ready and willing for me. I approved the rock music being played and then gracefully went under...

aunt_paula

I was lucky with time too. I wanted to be second case on a Wednesday, and that's what happened. I wanted to be sure my surgeon was well-rested and recently-fed (I would have asked if he had anything he needed to talk about before we got started if I'd thought of it lol), and things went pretty close to schedule. Waiting for the radiologist to do the injections for the SNB was the only thing that really ran late. Before going to surgery I had a nebulizer treatment (my asthma has not bothered me in YEARS--until a couple of days before surgery, wouldn't you know!), and I got pretty antsy after that because of the albuterol. I will never forget the anesthesia nurse who came in to get me, and who told me she was giving me something in my IV to help me relax. I wanted to hug her! The last thing I remember is getting onto the table in the OR--I hate that I didn't hear the music; I'd love to know what my breasts' swan song was!

I forgot to say this earlier, but I have decided not to reconstruct for now, and probably not ever. I'm glad to have the option, but I didn't want a surgery of the magnitude of the LD flap/TE placement. Now if I can just get my stomach flatter to match my chest I'll be great!

barbe1958

I used to always be the first surgery of the day as I am allergic to latex and it's so sensitive that no equipment can previously have been around me. Now "everyone" is sensitive to latex so it doesn't matter as much and they've changed out a lot of their supplies to avoid it.

coraleliz

Another weird thing that happened to me. Before being transported to the OR(in the pre-op area), my BS had to come by and "mark"(intial) both my breasts. I can see where this might be important if I was only getting one taken off, to prevent errors(ie having the wrong one removed). But I was getting a BMX, they both had CA..............sometimes common sense doesn't prevail.

barbe1958

coraleliz, probably EVEN more important that he initialled both so the surgical team made sure he took of both! I, too, have had breasts initialled over the years. Before my DBMX my surgeon had me stand and he marked natural fold lines and such to make sure he didn't pull skin to areas where it didn't belong, but used where my skin already was to close the wound.

Ariom

Hadn't thought of that Barbe, imagine going in and expecting to have both off and you come back with one. I bet it has happened, somewhere!

Mine did the marking for the skin not to be overstretched too. It was looking great till I got an infection that opened up a few centimeters and now my scar looks like a heart monitor blip on a screen.

maddie1351

Hello MellaBella,  Just a word about foobs.   I did not have reconstruction.  I figured at my age, what would it matter (now 70).  I had a UMX, hardly any pain - out of the hospital in 23 hours.  I hated the drains, which always seemed in my way.  When they came out, I went and got a mastectomy bra and a foob.  Then anger set in, I'll tell you I felt mad that I had lost my breast to DCIS!  I was mad at the foob too - didn't want that dang thing!.  I remember throwing it across the room.  I got over that pretty fast though.  I want to tell you that now, a year later, things are different.  I like the foob.  Yeh, it's true.  I never looked this good before.  I found  Playtex bras  that have lace overlay on the cups, and I put the foob in that. I put a few stitches around the inside, so it wouldn't accidently fall out (OMG).  I also got fitted for some nice mastectomy bras, and they don't look like old granny bras either.   The foob looks totally natural, and feels like a real breast to me.  I forget that it isn't sometimes.  The only time I think about the mastectomy is when I get out of the shower.  I just wanted to tell you that wearing a foob is not as bad as you might think.  I wish you best.

Maddie

bethq

I know at the beginning of this thread some were discussing the discomfort of implants. I wanted to get more opinions on this. I am not "athletic" but do work out at the gym....no longer run or anything. When you take a deep breath is it really uncomfortable or do you sometimes feel short of breath with implants? Thanks. (sorry if my terminology isn't up to speed yet)

DiveCat

Bethq....

I am not sure how much my thoughts will count as I am only a week out (tomorrow) of my PBMX direct to implant but I have had a very good recovery so far.  I was very athletic right up to the day before surgery (35-50 miles running per week, cycling, hiking, weight training, kayaking, scuba diving). Time will tell but given where I am already, I have very little worries about getting back to it all in due course, though I expect some will take more time getting back into or some modification. I was cleared to walk as much as I wanted as soon as I wanted...though I know some people are told to wait 1-2 weeks (I did not have nodes or anything removed, keep in mind) and three days after surgery I was able to walk about 6 miles (split over 2 walks) and have been regularly waking 4-6 miles a day. 

I have not felt short of breath or anything at all so far. I do take many deep breaths during day a part of my breathing exercises....deeper than I would exercising unless doing yoga...and I can still feel a bit of pressure in my chest where drain tubes still are snaking over top my implants (out tomorrow!) and a bit of fullness/pressure from the implant moving out with ribcage, but no difficulty actually breathing or pain. It is important to do breathing exercises after surgery to deal with anaesthesia, no matter whether you reconstruct or not. Obviously there is some discomfort still with my healing, and some tightness, but it is across my chest...not in my lungs. I am not sure why the implants would affect the breathing with normal exercise, but for some women it may so I do not discount it as a possibility.

Obviously I am very, very early in the process, not back to intense aerobic activity and won't be trying for a while, and everyone's experience is different, but I just wanted to let you know I do tell very good at this point.  Even though I am still pretty bruised and things are not settled into place, and there is still a wait and see to see how tissues recover, I DO really like my reconstructed breasts already and am very happy I went that route. So far I don't find them all that uncomfortable in the sense of their presence on my chest or anything (but obviously I still have discomfort from drains and a bit from incision sites)...but maybe that is because I found my previous fibrocystic 32DDs quite uncomfortable, and they were so during activity too. These actually kind of feel better in some ways.  I really was prepared for the worst, to be honest, and have been very, very surprised by my recovery.

Of course, your experience may vary, as it does for other women. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in as someone who, though very early in, has had a very good early recovery and also, like you, had concerns about returning to activity. You should know that lifting heavy with upper body will be out for a while though, and you may deal with distortion/or weird feelings in pecs over implants when lifting. Some people adapt and do not notice it that much, others do. 

bethq

Thanks DiveCat. Currently I do nothing with my upper body so I won't miss it! Mainly elliptical and leg workout. 

Infobabe

Beth, now that you are post MX, did you have reconstruction or not and how comfortable are you?

bethq

Oh no sorry! I am just diagnosed. No surgery yet.

Infobabe

Oh, I thought it was in April.

Suzaan

If you're still in this forum -- I'm facing a situation similar to the one with which you were dealing, and was wondering if you could tell me what you decided and why.

Thanks!

MTwoman

Suzaan, Mellabella's last post was in Nov 2015, so most likely wont' see it. Why don't you start a new thread either in the IDC forum, or in the Surgery forum? I'm sure there are many women who can tell you why they chose their surgical options to better clarify whatever issues are concerning to you. Good luck!