Family issues.

Glenfae

Hi, I'm new here and newly diagnosed.

I'm a widow who remarried and due to domestic abuse, divorced my husband eight years ago. In addition to dealing with my own issues about having BC, my family's unity is beginning to crack.  My grown sons, (their father died from lung cancer) grandson (his mother died from cancer when he was 3) and their wives are beginning to tell me what family member should and shouldn't accompany me to the doctor. I
know they're stressed and worried about me, but I feel
like a token up for grabs. The idea me having BC may be responsible for spitting up the family is depressing.

Has anyone dealt with a similair issue?

exbrnxgrl

Glenfae,

I am sorry that you are joining us, but this is a wonderful place for support. It does seem as if you've had more than your fair share of family stress. First of all, banish the notion that your bc is responsible for creating divisions in your family (they too have shared the stress you've experienced) Can you sit down with them and have a family meeting to discuss what you want and what you need? I know that when one is being treated for bc there is more than enough need to go around. Clearly everyone wants to help but I found, in my own situation, that unless I was under anaesthesia, I wanted to call the shots as much as possible. After all, you are the one who has bc so your family needs to know, clearly, that whatever is done, should be done with your desires at the forefront. Wishing you the best through a difficult time.

Glenfae

Thank you for responding. Facing surgery to treat two different forms of BC, the last thing I need is to play referee between quarreling adults.

I love them so much and don't want to hurt them, so I'm struggling with how to tell them  they're causing me more stress.

vbishop

Glenfae -

Stress is not good for anyone, especially cancer patients!!  I agree with exbrnxgrl about calling a meeting with the adults.  Trust me, there will be enough to do to "share the wealth" so to speak.  Cooking and cleaning, running errands, doctor appointments, etc.  Best of luck!