Unhappy with reconstruction, any advice?

bombsh3ll

Hi, I am new here. I had PBMX aged 29 for high risk family history and was made to have immediate reconstruction under the same anaesthetic. I got to choose whether to have implants, or fat or muscle harvested from elsewhere on my body, but not whether to actually have reconstruction or not.

I was very young when I learned I didn't have to wait until I had cancer like my relatives to get my breasts off, but at the time I set my heart on risk reducing mastectomies I had no knowledge of reconstruction and always imagined I would end up completely flat, perhaps wearing falsies to fill my bra. 

Five years on I am increasingly resentful that I have had to put up with hard uncomfortable balls of plastic shoved into my chest, for what seems to me like other people's ideas of what I ought to look like, in particular the surgeons' comfort with the aesthetic result.

They don't look good, one has caved in and I have to wear padded bras to mask the asymmetry, and it is like lying on two cricket balls. Furthermore it has weakened and disrupted my pectoral muscles, which I could accept as a consequence of removing breast tissue but I believe this is more as a consequence of the reconstruction. 

I didn't feel I was in a position to refuse implants at the time in case the offer of potentially life saving surgery was withdrawn. I'd already had to see a psychologist about my decision and basically justify why I wanted to live, so I'd had to fight hard to get my breasts off.

I have an appointment next month with the plastic surgeon, do you think they will be willing to take these lumps of plastic out of me? Has anybody else had this situation and what happened?

Any advice would be appreciated.

B xxx

GraceB1

It's your body and they should be willing to do want you need. There are women on the DIEP threads that had implants removed after several years and then had a flap procedure done or you can just go flat. I'm hoping that someone with a personal experience will chime in here for you.

DiveCat

I don't understand how you did not have choice to have reconstruction or not? You had to meet with a plastic surgeon and sign consents and such, right? I guess I can understand that you felt pressured to get reconstruction, but the "no choice" thing as if it was done to you without your consent does not make a lot of sense. I do know women who have had prophylactic surgeries and did NOT get reconstruction so it is not a given. I don't know where you are but if you actually were "forced" into reconstruction without your consent that is well, highly unethical.

Anyway, yes, you can be "deconstructed" and either go flat, or you can also choose a different method of reconstruction (like a flap surgery). Best to meet with the plastic surgeon and discuss your options, but if you want to be flat then be firm about it rather than be guided into either another form of reconstruction or revising what you have now. Also discuss with him what you can expect after deconstruction (in terms of scarring, concavity, and so forth).

Lojo

Hi - 

I don't have any specific advice other than to say being flat is not so bad. I had a double MX and am flat, and have not had any issues with my pectoral muscles. Are you in the US? The UK (cricket balls...) - I don't know if there are insurance constraints elsewhere, but I would think US insurance would pay for revisions to the implants / removal, but maybe others will chime in. 

Check out the thread on Breast Reconstruction -- something about "Athletes might regret reconstruction" - and there are several people who have had "deconstruction" (removal) of implants and they might have some suggestions.

Good luck

bobogirl

Hey there B:

There are sisters here who understand exactly how you feel.  Whatever you decide to do, you will find support from us.  Removing implants, having revision surgery for a smooth flat scar, and choosing to rock flatness is a real option.  Some women use external prostheses when they 'explant,'  while others just rock the total flatness (like me).

We have a thread called 'Rockin' flatness like a badas$,' and you are welcome there.  I feel and I understand your anger and your resentment -- many of us share those feelings.  Let your badas$ feelings fly!  And remember that whatever you decide to do, you are enough, all on your own, completely without 'cricket balls' (internal or external).

XXXXX bobogirl

bombsh3ll

Hi girls and many thanks for your replies!

I am in the UK and so got my original surgery free on the NHS. The NHS does not normally fund removal of breast implants, but I am going to argue dodgy consent grounds for the reconstruction as when I expressed a preference not to immediately reconstruct I was told "We would never leave a young woman like you without reconstruction". So I knew I would be getting reconstructed but would basically have agreed to anything in order to get my breasts off.

I chose the type of reconstruction that looked and felt least like a natural breast, and initially they were going to put in the saline implants which start off quite flat then you gradually get them expanded with saline, but I said I wouldn't bother coming back to get pumped up I would just leave it flat, so at the last minute they decided to put in ready made silicone ones instead. 

I will definitely check out the Rockin' flatness like a badas$ thread! I know that my ribcage may be dented now where the implants have been, & I hope I can get the skin trimmed as much as possible so I am not left with empty pouches. 

Thanks again, and good luck to those with upcoming/ongoing treatments.

B xxx