Just Diagnosed and on an emotional roller coaster

dnj3

This is all so new to me...I've been newly diagnosed with invasive ductal breast cancer on Friday after 2 core needle biopsies. They picked this up on my annual mammogram which I've had every year since 35 due to my Mom's BC.  After ultrasound and biopsies they felt tumor was approx 2 cm (dense breast tissue made it hard to tell size on mammo). Had MRI yesterday and already have not good news that mass is more like 4cm and there are additional 1 cm tumors present in other areas of same breast.  Right breast has numerous e 1, 2, 3 and 4 mm images. I will see oncologist on Friday and the breast surgeon. I am scared as hell, and am trying to figure out if there are any questions which I should be asking the oncologist and surgeon when I meet with them both. Any guidance you could give me would be appreciated. 

Thank you!

Melrosemelrose

Take some deep calming breaths.  I know you feel anxious and scared by what you already have learned about your situation.  Remember, you are not alone and never will be.  There are many here who have travelled this way before and who will continue to help through.  As for now, please do not Dr. Google.  Dr. Google can be unreliable, inconsistent, not current and can just scare the bejeebers out of you!!!  Stick to what the facts of your situation.  I know that the appointments and tests will be coming fast and furiously and then there will be the waiting.  The "hurry up and wait" can be excruciating on one emotionally.  Your situation will reveal itself in due time.  There will be times when you feel so overwhelmed by everything.  It's one day at a time; one step at a time.  So fasten your seat belt and hold on tight as we ride the roller coaster together. 

The BCO.org main website has a wealth of information.  I'm sure you asking.... where do I start.  Here is the link to the Treatment section.  You can head to the subsections about Surgery and Chemotherapy and you will see headings for what to ask.

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/talk_to_doc

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/surgery/question

 

If you don't already have one, get a monthly calendar so you can write down your appointments.  Also, make a list of your prior surgeries, medical information, drug allergies and current drugs you take.  You will also want to write down the names, addresses and phone numbers of your doctors and 24 hours pharmacy.  You will find that if you have all of that info ready, it will be a little easier to fill out medical forms at your initial appointments.  Ask for and keep copies of your test and scan results. I kept a monthly calendar with copies of my medical information & important phone numbers and took that to every appointment.  I also kept a notebook at home of my medical tests, scans, bills, insurance, etc to help me keep track of things

At your initial visits, take paper and pen so you can write down answers to your questions.  If you don't understand something that your doctor has told you, ask him/her to explain to you again.  It's okay.  I'm hoping that you will have someone go with you to your initial appointments to give you emotional support and also to listen.  Sometimes, as patients, we don't always hear everything even though the doctor is sitting right in front of you talking.  If you have a digital recorder/ tape recorder available, you may want to record these appointments.

As you can see, there are practical things that one can do to help maintain a sense of control.  As I said before, you are not alone.  If you have questions, please post them.  Sending you many hugs and lots of positive calming and healing prayers, thoughts and energy.

AZ85048

dnj3 - Hi and welcome!  Melrosemelrose, has already done an excellent job of reiterating everything I would have said to you, except I would add - be kind to yourself.  This is a very emotional journey, and one with plenty of ups and downs.  You're not expected to know everything or be totally brave all of the time.  Just know we're here and you can come here any time to vent, rant, laugh, cry, or ask questions.  There are thousands of us here who've been down that same road you find yourself on now.  Don't be afraid to ask for directions...  You are not alone and you can do this.  Sending you strength.....

Moderators

Hi dnj3, 

We hate to welcome you to a forum nobody wants to join, but you will find an amazing group of supportive individuals here. You aren't alone here, and just take one day at a time. 

Thinking of you, 

The Mods

dnj3

Thank you Melrosemelrose, for your incredible kindness and the in-depth information. It really does help to have someone who has walked this road shed some light on where to look for and find good information about all the questions that were swimming around in my head. Your helpful advice to gather all my info and build a folder will absolutely keep me organized and act as a resource for my story. I've read through the sections you recommended and gained some better understanding, thank you for sending those. 

Also Melrosemelrose, Arizona and the Moderators thank you for acknowledging my thoughts and feelings, it is a little bit of a comfort to get that it's ok to feel emotionally undone with the diagnosis.  Usually I'm someone who is emotionally in charge but it's nice to know I don't always always have to brave ( just most of the time now),  so I will take it one day at a time and remember to always breath.

Appreciate you all for sharing your support and insight,

Thank you!