Paranoid!

Jonesy41

I'm one week in after hearing final pathology after a right boob mastectomy  - 7cm pure DCIS. I should be happy - I am, in fact I consider myself very lucky. However, I'm now turning my attention to the left boob and freaking out about its future. I have self checked, checked again and again and just keep checking. I have my hand in my top checking constantly much to my boyfriends horror! I have 'lumpy boobs' so I freak out every time I check. My question is - Do I go back to clinic and have them checked or feel safe in the fact that left boob scored a MRI Birads 2 score three months ago and relax until my next mammo in one year? Thanks in advance for your insight on this matter x 

Beesie

You had a BIRADs 2 MRI just 3 months ago, and as you said, you know that you are being paranoid.  

That seems to suggest that you know there is no reason to be rechecked. 

Jonesy41

haha, yes Beesie - you're right! Just nice to hear perspective coz I'm loosing it from time to time. I'm even thinking they've missed a micro-invasion - I just need to accept my final diagnosis and MOVE ON! Easier said than done sometimes x 

Ariom

Hey Jonesy! Beesie is right, but it is so understandable to be a bit paranoid when it is all new. I called it the "Jaws" music, you know in the movie where you hear the da dum, da dum.....I could be doing something and suddenly those thoughts would come in, just like the music in that movie.

Thankfully I am over a year out from a Umx and it very rarely happens now. I am better educated, thanks to our Beesie, who has taken the time to supply lots of very readable and easy to understand information about DCIS and as time passes, the urgency and fear becomes much more manageable.

I have accepted my Dx and my "New Normal", as you will, just give yourself time to become accustomed to it all. Take care!

1toughmomma

It's ok to feel a little "paranoid" and I caution us from not being at least eagle-eyed. I don't like using the word "paranoid" because that is an actual diagnosis someone can have. I had my UMX in late November  and already lived through my first "scare" on my right. I knew it would look like I was "paranoid" when I had new pain on the right that was discordant with typical cyclical breast pain and there was a painful lump. I just knew with my history of having multi-focal DCIS at 40  that anything I reported would be followed up on so I hesitated. I almost didn't say anything. I waffled between being embarrassed  that I was worried and actuallybeing scared. I did fess up at my annual GYN exam and my GYN felt the lump too and he ordered a dx mammogram and U/S that did not show anything suspicious, but I was told I was not crazy and did the right thing. My PS felt the lump, too. The radiologist was great (he and the US tech felt it too). My final result was a BIRADS 2 mammogram/U/S with clinical correlation needed. I have gone through one full menstrual cycle since the pain and lump discovery and yes, the lump is still there and the pain is still concentrated in one region of the breast. I now know what it feels like and can spot something abnormal. In the final report the Radiologist strongly urged consideration for some sort of routine MRI for me. There is reason to be cautious and there is a process to learning this.

I am considering asking my PS (only because he is the only one I am seeing right now) to do a breast exam along side me. I am lumpy too and I have sore, bean sized lumps along the side up into my armpit. Since I had a normal right sided MRI in October (the left was a mess:) and this pain and lump appeared OK I am guessing that this is all OK, too, but would like to hear it from someone who knows. I also read about "mapping" your remaining breast on paper and each month referring to that when it is time to do your exam. Maybe something like that will help you, too. Go easy on yourself. We didn't ask for this, we just have to learn what will work for each of us as individuals  

Jonesy41

well I have decided to go and have my lumpy left boob checked - I cannot wait until my next screening in Jan 2015 - I need to know what it is and as you say KimberlyAnn, it would be good to map my lumps so I have a base line guide every month when I'm self checking. As my left boob scored BIRaDs 2 in November I'm hoping that my lumps are nothing of concern - I just need to know what they are. I haven't told anyone about my appointment next week - they are busy celebrating last weeks pure DCIS final diagnosis/prognosis ; I don't want to spoil their fun! 

TB90

Good for you Jonsey!  I think we need to be proactive in receiving the care we need.  Sitting around worrying ourselves to death is not good for our health.  So feel empowered by your decision to take control of your health, just like we do for others, our finances and far less important things in our lives.

1toughmomma

Good! Find out, map it and move on!

Annette47

Hope this brings you some peace of mind!

For what it's worth, I've found the paranoia is decreasing the farther out from diagnosis/treatment I go.