Missing A Significant Family Member

Anonymous

My
mother passed away from Lou Gehrig's Disease in 1993. She never saw my children
grow up - they were 5 and 3 when she passed. I've since battled three major
illnesses without her. I wish she could be here during my breast cancer
journey. My mom always made me chicken soup when I wasn't feeling well. It was
so comforting when I would climb into bed, and smell the soup cooking, from my
room. When I was sleeping, I would feel her cool hand on my forehead. She never
needed a thermometer, she always knew by touch when I had a fever. When I
became an adult, she still came over to make me soup whenever I was sick. It
didn't matter how old I got. I kept the same tradition with my daughter and
son. When they got sick, they always knew it was time for chicken soup. When I
went through chemo, my daughter came home to stay with me. The first thing she
did was make me soup. I closed my eyes and listened to all the sounds - pots
clanging, water running, vegetables being chopped. After awhile I could smell
the familiar aroma. I pretended I was back home with my mom. I hope one day
when my grandchildren are born, my children will continue with the tradition. I
really miss my mom. Anyone else missing their mom or significant family member during their breast cancer
journey?

BayouBabe

Slowdeepbreaths - I miss my mom every single day.  She died about 8 years ago with stage IV cancer.  I miss the feel of her hands and her laugh.  My mom, too,  was an amazing cook and healed our souls with food.  Leaving my children without their mother was the most terrifying part/thought of my initial days/months after diagnosis.  When I am having a particularly bad day, I pray to have a dream with my mom in it when I lay down to sleep.  Mothers will always be one of life's most amazing gifts.  Memories of her will ALWAYS be some of my most precious.  

MsPharoah

Ladies, such sweet memories!  Thank you for sharing.  My mother died of breast cancer 35 years ago.  There were 7 children and not all were grown when she passed.  Back then, we didn't know much about breast cancer and my mother never talked about her illness, treatment, prognosis.  She had a tough life and was not a happy or tender mother ever.  I still feel like a motherless child at age 64 but I am a strong woman and have made a good life, despite my unhappy childhood.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, all my unhappy childhood memories came flooding back, including the shame that I feel about not being close to my mother....imagining now what it must have been like for her to die so young, so unhappy, with child rearing not yet completed.  

As it has turned out, I am long married with two wonderful, grown children and I feel so beloved by them all.  During my treatment, they were always there for me and they still are.  I am truly blessed but I know I have deserved their caring because I am their happy, tender mother. 

Bayou Babe, when you said "Mothers will always be one of life's most amazing gifts.", it struck a deep chord with me.  I miss my mother.

MsP

Anonymous

BayouBabe & MsPhoroah, thank you for sharing your stories. Our mothers helped to make us who we are today. I wish we could get just one more day with them to say the things we didn't say, or improve upon relationships that weren't always the best.

M0mmyof3

I'm missing my Dad who died when I was only three, but most especially my older sister who died unexpectedly in 2010 from a heart attack.  My sister and I really never got along when we were younger but in the last few years before she died, my sister and I drew much closer and she was so proud of me for going to college and wanted so much to see me get my degree, which I did a year after she died with honors. When my diagnosis came, I was shattered and I sat in the middle of my living room crying and wishing she was there to put her arms around me and tell me everything was going to be okay and that she was going to kick my tail if I let cancer get the best of me. My sister always had a way of making me laugh even on my worst day. She was such a huge Garfield nut that when her husband was giving little things of her to people that they wanted to remember her by, he gave me one of her Garfield's and the thimble that I had brought her from my trip to England in my senior year of high school. Everytime I look at those keepsakes, I know that even though she is not her physically for me, she remains in spirit to give me a much needed reminder to keep fighting and that someday I'll see her again.

Anonymous

M0mmy, I'm sorry for all the loss you've endured. The sister bond is very special - even when you don't always get along.

M0mmyof3

ty Slow

Its been hard to go through this without my sister but many of my dear galpals have stepped in to fill that void. I feel as if my sister was looking down on me and seeing what I was going through and in her own way made this happen because after she died, when my niece and two nephews have some problem that they need help with they have come to me for advice even if its from long distance.

Anonymous

It's hard to believe my Mom has been gone for 22 years this month. We lost her on Easter evening. She was a good Mom with a difficult life. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. Miss you Mom.

molliefish

next Thursday will be the 3rd anniversary of my Dads death. I will have my first blood work on wed and my second round of chemo on Friday. I think my Mom may want to sit this round out. Can't say that I blame her.

Anonymous

I'm sorry namechange. I hope you're having minimal SE's with your chemo. It's not easy going through this without our loved ones. Gentle hugs to you!!

Cubbie2015

I am missing my Dad, who died when I was 12. I wish he were here. I keep some pictures of him on my tablet, and sometimes they are the only thing that helps me during this time. I hope there is a world where we will be together again someday.

Anonymous

Cubbie, I choose to believe we will see them again.

Welcome to BCO. I see you're very new here. Have you been diagnosed or are you waiting on test results?

So young to lose your Dad. Very sorry for your loss.

Cubbie2015

SlowDeepBreaths, I have been diagnosed, but I have not filled out my profile, partly because I don't have all the answers yet, and partly because I can't bring myself to do it at this point. I'm still coming to terms with having cancer.

Dad was my primary parent when I was a child, so it's a bit like missing a Mom. So sad that your Mom didn't get more time as a Grandma, and your children didn't get to grow up with her around. My Grandma (Dad's Mom) was a 30 year survivor of breast cancer (died of old age at 92!) and I miss her as well. I wish she was here to walk me through this!

Anonymous

Cubbie, I'm so sorry. Once you have your treatment plan in place it does get just a bit easier. The beginning stuff is really difficult. You have many women here on BCO that will help walk you through. I know it's not the same as family, but so many of the women here have become like a second family to me. So great that your Grandma was a thirty year survivor. You must follow in your Grandma's footsteps!! Sending you gentle hugs!!!