What now?

Stunned_at_33

What now?

Stunned_at_33

I was diagnosed with BC 2 days ago.  Breast lump & lymph node both show cancer.  No idea what the pathology report said, though I asked for a copy I walked out of there in a daze and forgot to ask for it again before leaving.  I'm told that I will have to have all the nodes under my arm removed along with a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Meeting with the oncologist for the first time tomorrow morning and feeling very overwhelmed.  Also confused as to why they scheduled my MRI after my oncology appt. and not before.  Feeling like there are too many big decisions to make in a short amount and despite making a best effort research attempt, I'm still feeling clueless.

Also feeling anxiety & heartache with the thought of telling my girls.  Today is my eldest's 16th birthday and am waiting til the weekend to break the news.

mdg

So sorry you find yourself here.  The beginning is the hardest part.  There is so much uncertainty.  Take a deep breath.  Get the pathology report and try to understand what is on there so you can ask questions and make the decisions you need to.  Best of luck!!

chrissyb

Hi Stunned and welcome to the best place you could have found for information and support.  Right where you are right now is the hardest part of this whole journey and there are many thing that you will need to learn as you go along.  Your onc should have a copy of your path report so you can ask him/her for a copy for yourself.   It's good to make sure you get a copy of everything as you then can make a folder for future reference.

When you go for your initial doc appointments and that includes your onc, either take a small recorder so you can record what is said as very often we are so stunned by it all we only hear half of it.  Other than that you can also take you partner or a friend as an extra pair of ears as they will hear everything and you can compare notes after the visit to make sure you know whats happening.

Telling your children is heart wrenching but reassure them as I am reassuring you now that it is not the end of the world........yes, you will have to spend this next coming year having surgery, possibly rads and or chemo and the you will have to take a medication for the next five years and the whole journey will not be easy but with their help you will get through it all.

Remember, come to BCO when you have questions on things that you don't understand as the women here are awesome and are only too happy to share their knowledge while giving you all the love and support that you will need.

Love n hugs.   Chrissy

Rockym

Stunned, I'm so sorry you are here, but this is definitely the place to be.  You will find support and information that will help get you through this.  Just remember to breath and know that you truly have time to make your decisions.  Everything begins with the biopsy report and that will give you an idea of what steps to take next.  Make sure you do indeed get a copy and then the first step would mostly likely be with a breast surgeon and an oncologist.  There are many surgeons, oncologists, etc. and you want to be with someone who respects your choices.  Because you are 33, treatment will be different than someone 50 or perhaps 60.

Please check out the forum just diagnosed, get prepared.  It was very helpful and helped me feel in control back then.  Since you are single, I would recommend the Livescribe pen.  I used it to take notes and record all of my meetings with all of my doctors.  There were a few times when I recall thinking a doctor said one thing when they really said something else.  My notes and pen were invaluable.  Let us know how things progress.  You will get through this.  Your daughters will be on your side and you will be surprised at how mature they will be.  My kids were younger than yours at the time, but they grew strong and proud seeing that their mom handled the illness and eventually got back to my regular life.  I fell that life changes for all of us as time goes by and this is just another one of those changes.  Good luck.

AZ85048

Stunned_at_33 - I'm very sorry to be welcoming you to the sisterhood, but be assured you've found a great place for knowledge and support.  Just know that in here you're never alone.  The beginning of the journey is so hard but chrissyb gave you some great advice about taking someone with you to these first appointments.  It's nearly impossible to process everything that is said and /or suggested on your own.  Wishing you the best of luck with your meeting tomorrow.  Please let us know how it goes and how we can help.  Sending you a hug and a prayer....

wyo

Virtual Hug to you Stunned! Its so overwhelming and you get so much information so quickly its hard to take it all in.  

I say at work "how do you eat an elephant?- One bite at a time"  If you can break this up into chunks of what you need to know for decision now and followed by what you need to know next the details start to be manageable. 

Moderators

Hello Stunned, and welcome to Breastcancer.org! We are sorry you had to join us, but also glad you did!

In addition to the helpful advice you've received here, we recommend you to take a look at the section Breast Cancer 101 of the main Breastcancer.org site. It is place designed for those newly diagnosed that will help you learn more about what to expect now.

We hope this helps,

The Mods

Stunned_at_33

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words of wisdom.

So at my oncology visit, I learned that my BC is at present being classified as Stage 2, but too soon to grade.  Tumor was 1 cm. He is sending me for more test (bilateral breast MRI, brain MRI, PET scan, & genetic testing) before finalizing a treatment plan.  Also learned it is triple positive. Keeping my fingers crossed & praying hard that it stays at Stage 2 after all the tests come back & surgery is complete.

chrissyb

Stunned I know you are feeling pretty crappy right now but take a breath and try to relax a little.  Being triple + is a pretty good dx if you have to be dxd at all.  There are many more treatments available to + including the easier anti hormonals and of course Herceptin for the Her2 +.  Stage 2 is moderate so not real fast growing which is a good thing as well.

All the scans you are being sent to have are standard procedure to make sure the cancer is confined in the breast so treatment can be made appropriate.

So much to learn and get your head around but you will do just fine in that ..........it's amazing how quickly we learn about all of this.

Love n hugs.    Chrissy

KLJ

Stunned, my daughter was diagnosed 2 years ago with Triple Neg. She has two little boys that were 6 and 8 at the time and was going through a divorce. It was a rough road but she made it through everything with flying colors just like you will. Now we are starting my breast cancer journey. Completely different kind of cancer but still breast cancer that is once again effecting our family. And once again we will get through this. You have found a great place to find support and have all of your questions answered. It was the women on this site that gave me the strength to make up my mind and tell my doctor today what treatment I wanted even though her team thought that I could have done something easier and less invasive. Decided I didn't want to leave any chance of a recurrence. Scheduling my BMX for this month. Goodbye cancer!

hopeful14

Hi 

i just got diagnosed today with invasive ductal carcinoma.stage 2. I am so overwhelmed. I don't how I am going to tell my two children. I am only 34. I have to make so many decisions mastectomy vs. lumpectomy. I am scared . Please help

hopeful14

mine is also triple negative

AZ85048

hopeful14 - Hi, welcome!  I'm so very sorry you've had to join us.  As chrissyb said above, triple negative isn't the worst news in the big bad world of breast cancer.  Here's a link to the Triple Negative Forum:

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/72

They'll have a lot more answers for you than I do.  Wishing you the best of luck on your journey! 

chrissyb

Hi Hopeful.........I'm so sorry that you have received this dx.  As you say, so many major decisions to be made in a short time but you are stronger than you think and will do whatever you need to do to get through.  BCO is a great place to learn and get support as well as speak with others who are walking the same walk as yourself.

AZ has put the link to the Triple Negative thread and that is a great place to start but you may also like to join the Young Womens thread as I know that young women with small children have other challenges to deal with other than just BC. 

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/27/topic/7... ..........

Keep coming back to BCO and know, you are not alone.

Love n hugs.     Chrissy

babyduck

Hi Ladies. Haven't started any treatment yet. DX Jan. 31. MO says the PET lit in the brain. He seemed very confident it was nothing. Said this is common. Anyone else had MRI on brain? Or PET show something that turned out to be nothing? A bit nervous...