Newly diagnosed and surgery in 2 days

AntoniaM

In early August 2013 I found a very large lump in my leftbreast. I was thinking wow, lay off the caffeine for a couple of weeks and see if things change. Wishful thinking. However the beginning of the school year is busy for my family so I put things off until October.

On October 30th I had a screening Mammo that came back dense breast tissue, normal, repeat in 1 year. My Doc and I agreed that an Ultrasound was in order. Finally after a ton of drama from the hospital that was doing all my testing, I then moved on to a surgeon to do the biopsy on December 3^rd.

The worst day of my life was December 5^th.I get the call my biopsy tested positive for breast cancer. UGH! I fell to my knees and cried my eyes out for hours that ended up being days. Telling my children that day was the worst and hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

Living through a weekend knowing I have Cancer and I can feel the Cancer (size of quarter), thinking every negative thing possible, made for a very long weekend. Then we met with a High Risk Breast Cancer Surgeon on that following Monday and went over all my options, and testing that had to be done. Tuesday my phone lit up like a Christmas tree with all of the Doctor's offices calling to schedule appointments for testing and Plastics. I never realized things would move so fast. It is all so very over whelming.

Going through the holiday’s were emotional on everyone. I told everyone from my husband, our kids, parents, extended family, and doctors,I want an “as normal as possible” Christmas with my family. No more cancer drama. We know the results, we know my fait, we know when surgery is and now let’s get through the holidays. And with tons of love and faith we did make itthrough.

Now I have to face my one and only option. Mastectomy. With suspicion in the right I have chosen to do a double. I now have two days until my surgery January 15th and I am scared to death. I keep hoping someone is going to tell me, sorry Antonia we made a mistake you are normal just like your first mammo said.I know that is not going to happen. I have seen the MRI first hand and all the cancer that is there, as the doctor put it, “it is larger than you can feel”.The closer surgery the more I cry and the more nervous I get. How does one wrap their arms around this? I am really having a hard time with this only option. Some of my family and friends keep saying, "Oh heck you get new boobs go for it", "whats there to think about". If it was only that easy. 

anmore

Hello Antonia

I am so sorry about your diagnosis and all you're going through. It is a scary time but you will get through it and there are a lot of people on here that will give you support and good information.

I was diagnosed in Oct after being in a car accident and having an injury to my breast from the seat belt. They discovered a lump when I had an ultrasound done to look at the injury. I decided on a lumpectomy and intraoperative radiation and had surgery on Dec. 16th.  

I wish you luck tomorrow and just know that each day gets better. 

Angela

AZ85048

AntoniaM - I'm so sorry you have to go through it, but you can do this!  Unfortunately there are thousands of us that have gone before you, as you can see by this forum.  I was diagnosed in early July 2013 with DCIS and then when they went in to do a left breast excision three weeks later, they found I had LCIS as well.  As I am a DES daughter and have suffered with a severe case fibrocystic breast disease for over twenty years, the choice to have a BMX was a no brainer - but then again it was MY choice.  No one forced me or hurried me.  However, once I made up my mind I wanted it done and done as soon as possible.  From the tone of your post, I'm afraid you're not that comfortable with what's about to happen. 

I'm not going to lie; the BMX is tough but you can get through it.  Give yourself a chance to get used to the idea and try to find some peace in the fact that this will eliminate the enemy.  Give yourself plenty of time to heal and don't push yourself as so many of us are prone to do.  ;-)  That will pay off in the long run.  If you start reading the forum, there are lists of what to take to the hospital, how to get your house ready, etc., etc.  Just remember If you need help, advice, or just a laugh and a stupid game to take your mind off everything, come here.  There is always someone here, so never be afraid to reach out.  No one knows how this works better than the women who have already gone through it. 

I wish you nothing but the best of outcomes on Wednesday and as Angela said, each day does get better, believe me...

aviva5675

keep telling yourself that you are going to get rid of the cancer, do what it takes to get beyond it and live a good long life.  The bmx will be hard for awhile, but you are a person, not a pair of breasts,and you will continue to be your wonderful self afterwards.  There are decisions for treatment to be made, have someone if you can to help, ask your doctors lots of questions, write down answers so you dont forget.  You do not need to rush into decisions, contrary to us wanting to rush ahead to get rid of the beast, you do have some time to think between tests and procedures. You are where none of us want to be- but you will get thru this!

msphil

your so right sweetie, if only that easy, I pray for you and US ALL, this coming from and  19 yr, 20 this yr SURVIVOR(Praise GOD).msphil(idc,stage2,0/3 nodes, L mast, chemo and rads and 5 yr on tamoxifen

mdg

It's a lot more than "just getting new boobs" but most people don't get it unless they have lived it themselves.  Leaving my son at school the morning of my BMX was so hard.  I cried most of the way to the hospital.  I was petrified.  You are probably at one of the worst parts of all of this.  I will tell you a bmx was not fun, but it was not as bad as I thought it would be.  It takes time to feel better, but in the end I am happy with my reconstruction. I look pretty normal even in my tight fitting workout clothes.  Take a deep breath.......just take it one day at a time.  You will get through this....sending hugs!!!

Katem001

I had my mastectomy 22nd November 2012 (left side) then lymph node removal jan 2013. 

I was scared out of my mind but I couldn't wait to go for surgery and get the cancer out of my body, I would have gone in the day I was diagnosed if I could.

I've had chemo and radiotherapy during 2013, now one year after my lymph node removal it all seems like a dream. I'm waiting to see my consultant to arrange my reconstruction and I CAN NOT wait. I'm so looking forward to getting my boobs, I know it's going to be a long process but I had no other choice.

It's a very scary thing to have to go through but you're stronger than this cancer, stay positive and just think 'it's happened, there's nothing that is going to change that apart from getting it out'.

It's good that things are moving fast, it doesn't give it a chance to do any more damage. 

You are still you, no amount of cancer will change that. Ever.

Xxxx