DIEP 2014

Jeannie57

Goldie, I am so, so sorry you lost your mom and had to experience all that pain!  I am sure that the compassion you show to all of us is partly a result of what you went through. You are so kind and encouraging.

Kat-ski

Hi to all!!  Prayers of healing thoughts to everyone going through all of the different stages we go through.  All is well here.  We have water so life goes on now and playing catch-up.

My right flap is on wound care now!  Saline wet/dry dressings twice a day.  It does have blood flow!  I see  the new PS here in town on Friday and we will be discussing the next stage,etc.  PRMA was great and supportive.  No complaints from me and that is a good thing considering!

I read everyday but am trying to move on too.  I call it moving on in my reality.  I think my 81 year old mother gets it most of the time now even with dementia.

Kat

Teacher64

A dear friend left a doctor's office in tears to go to find a compassionate, caring doctor who treated her. You will too. Just like any profession, there are bad apples, so let everyone you know about your experience. Do online survey if possible, follow up with his office manager who probably already knows he's a horse's patootie, but let your voice be heard because it could be a learning experience for him. Obviously, he needs one because medicine isn't just about science.

nihahi

teacher..... You are SPOT ON SISTER!!!!!

goldie...I'm so sorry you had that experience. Please tell us it wasn't with anyone connected with your "future recon"!!!

kat...you sound good...here's to moving forward, and moving on. (((X)))

goldie4040

Nihani, thank goodness, no it was not anybody having to do with my recon, or I would be cancelling and looking for somebody else.  It was a pain management facility that works with BC patients, not specifically but a lot.   I had the appt lined up from a long time ago, and decided to go anyway, even though my diep should take care of things, but I wanted to hear what he had to say.  Well, I heard enough to know he is in the wrong business. 

Jeannie, thank you for the kind words.  My mom taught me a lot, 99.9999999 percent was before she got sick.  But, she did show me you can die with love, light and dignity. And, I thank her for that too. And, she never let me know how scared she was, ever. She had her friends, and sister for that, but she spared me, and I only realized it much later.

Thanks, Teacher.  I know my perfect doc is out there somewhere.  I do believe I now have the perfect PS.  Maybe the rest will fall into place.

Kat ski, I am sorry you are having the wound healing issue.  I hope things move along quickly, and you don't have to deal the wet/dry stuff for too long.  Protein. Eat tons of protein.

I don't think I have mentioned this, but I have seen incorporating much more protein in my diet in anticipation of my surgery, and to aide in healing of my prior surgeries.  Not once, but twice now my hairdresser has asked me what I have been using on my hair.  She swears it is thicker, stronger, etc.  Girls, it must be all the protein, plus I am taking one biotin tablet a day.

nihahi

goldie....very glad to hear that doc is now "in your past". I would have done the same as you, and kept the appt, because...what would it hurt, right? Well, obviously...that doc laid a whole lot of hurt on you, and likely other patients as well.

I tell you....my keyboard would be SMOKING right now, typing out a letter to be forwarded to that doc, his supervisor and his facility!!!!!!! 

The experience with your Mom rings close to home for me too, in that my BC, MS, blind and leg amputee Mom taught me how to live and die with grace and laughter and courage. Sad lesson though, for you to have to learn so young.

edited to add: goldie.. not meaning AT ALL to minimize your sadness or experience with your mom, by mentioning my mom's own struggles. There are NO medals for "more suffering or worse case scenario" given out. (((((hugs)))))

Just got a call from my PS office....sigh.....appt booked for next week is rescheduled as he will be in surgery with an active ca patient. One more week to stew and fret about discussing the lipo/fat grafting, and a whole lot of "sadness" that yet another woman is on this path. Think I'll just curl up with a blanket, put on some peaceful music, and watch the snow fall.....again.....

goldie4040

Nihani, I know exactly where you were coming from, and no offense taken at all.  You cannot measure somebodies suffering and pain. It's not a sliding scale. Suffering in any form is horrible, sad, and not fair. I hate that we both had to deal with it when we were so young, and our Mom's were too young to die, too.

I wish I could write a letter to somebody about this doc.  He is in private practice, so....

What I did do was give him a bad review on Health Grades.

Zenful

Goldie and Nihahi, I guess I am in your club, too. Tomorrow is the 33rd anniversary of my mother's passing from breast cancer. I was just thinking today how strange it is to have lived more of my life without her than with her. We were so lucky to be blessed with their incredible strength. There isn't a day that I don't think about her and I am often reminded of something she taught me. It always makes me smile. 

Teacher64

Wynne, thinking of you. Have a good nap tomorrow.

goldie4040

Zenful, sorry about your mom. I know what you mean about thinking about her everyday.  How old was she when she passed?  She must have been fairly young.  Interesting, three of us with mom's who passed from BC.  It drives me crazy when they say it only raises your odds for getting BC by a few percent points if you mom had it. 

Ladies, how many of you have a maternal family history of BC? I once asked how did each one of you discover you BC, and I believe only one had it found on a routine mammo.  Which wasn't a surprise to me.

Wynne50

I have no history of BC in my family.  Mine was found on routine mammogram.  I have 5 nieces who now have to say their is family history where there was none before.  That was one of the first things I thought about when diagnosed.

I'm so sorry for all of you who lost their mothers to BC.  That would have been so hard.

Jeannie57

Goldie, my mom and her mom had FBC but they were post-menopausal, in their 70's and had a different FBC than me. Still......I was part of a gene study that tested for the BRCAs and every other gene they could think of and zilch, nada. I still think some kind of familial thing could be in play and with three daughters, it's a concern of which they are very aware.

Zenful

Jeannie, my mother was just 52 when she passed, and I was a young 25. Lost my dad 6 months later.  My sister (lymphoma)  was 58 and my brother (lung cancer) was 59.  Needless to say, the geneticist was shocked when I was found to be BRCA negative.  I'm the last one standing, but I am a warrior. Look out BC, I'm kicking your a$$!!

nihahi

hmm....think I gave the wrong impression....yes, my mom had bc and had a mx, 8 months after Dad passed...but she actually passed away years later from a massive stroke. One of her sisters passed away from aggressive, metastasized  bc, but I was actually the first in the family to be dx'd, at the age of 41. My mom and aunt were in their 60's when dx'd. Dad died of metastasized bladder cancer. 

Zenful.....such a toll on your family.....I am so glad that you are here with us...may you have truly "drawn the line" and told ca...."no more"!!!

wynne.....thinking of you....safe surgery and gentle healing....may Wilbur be with you!

Beebop

Goldie- My Mom never had BC, only a cousin and a 2nd cousin (both of whom passed away from recurrences).   I had a mammogram 5 mos before my dx and it showed nothing.   After my 1st mammogram they did ultrasound the area where my cancer was, but at that time they said it was just a cyst,   When I was finally diagnosed 3 years later, it was almost 3cm and had spread to the lymph nodes.  Wonder if they had biopsied the "cyst" it would have been caught earlier and caused less havoc to my life.   I found the lump myself because it swelled up and was painful.  I waited a couple of weeks and it got better so I almost didn't have it checked out.  Thank goodness I did!

Sorry about those that have lost Mothers.  Mine is 85 yrs old, but thankfully still here and doing well.  I lost my Dad to a heart attack at age 67.  It's so hard to lose a parent.

annajo

No family history of bc at all.  Not even a second cousin.  Routine mammo, my first at 41.

Bizarrely, my maternal grandparents both died of pancreatic cancer.  Not drinkers.  They both got it at 75, my grandmother was 5 years younger.  No radon in the house.  Just a strange coincidence.

Jeannie57

Oh, Zenful, I'm sorry for your losses. How devastating. I'm so glad you are kicking cancer's a$$! Today I was doing water aerobics and we had to punch the water. I was vigorously punching FBC, on behalf of all of us!

melissa2013

My mom is a 24 year survivor.  She was diagnosed at 49.   I was diagnosed on a routine mammogram when I was 44.  We are both BRCA negative.   No other family history.   Hard to believe there isn't another genetic link. 

Sunone

no family history of BC, my DCIS was found each time by mammogram, first time at 51.

lahela

Goldie, I'm so sorry you had such a dreadful encounter! It's like DH said after my ONC laughed at me, "Some of these people just completely failed 'Bedside Manner 101' and should never have gone on to work with patients." You never have to see that b@st@rd again because you are in charge of your body. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

I'm so sorry that so many have lost family to cancer. It's such a terrible disease. Goldie, to answer your question - my mother's paternal grandmother died of BC, then she had it, her sister, then my sister (at 41). That's why my GYN had me do the MRI that found my BC, even though my sister tested for BRCA and was negative. All her geneticists say it's genetic, they just don't know which gene yet. I think I'm lucky to live somewhere where a strong family history means strong testing and the insurance companies can't deny the cost!

A question for the veterans - what do you do when you're spitting a stitch? I've got one poking out from a noob revision scar and don't know whether to pull at it or not... I suppose I should just wait and see?

Teacher64

Diagnosis 11-11 after routine mammo, called mom and sister. No history. 11-12 my sister called me in a panic after being called back for further study after her mammo. Told her to have her doc call mine and, as a result, she is being monitored closely this year due to clusters of cysts. It was sobering.

Ridley

Lahela - have had lots of spitting stitches.  I have pulled some if there is no resistance, but if there is resistance, I just cut it so it's not sticking out much above skin level.  One of my home care nurses warned me to make sure I was using sterile tweezers, etc.

Goldie - on the BC front, my Mom is a 10 year survivor, and her Mom and two of my Mom's sisters also had BC.  My paternal grandmother also had BC, but they were all diagnosed post menopausal.  I was the first one to be diagnosed pre menopausal, and was tested for BRCA, which came back negative.  My Dad is also a two time survivor (prostate and kidney), as was his Dad.  And I have lots of other cancers in my aunts, and cousins, almost all on my maternal side.  I think there must be some kind of genetic issue on my Mom's side, but we just haven't found it yet.

I had been going for mammos for a number of years, and 8 months before I was diagnosed, had a mammo and a callback for an ultrasound, and nothing was found.  I had spontaneous discharge, which I followed up on, and that's when we found it.  I wish I had known more about breast density and the issues with mammos, as I would have pushed for an MRI.

Zenful - you have been through hell with this disease - hard to believe genetics are not at play somehow. My heart goes out to those of you who have lost your parents to this disease.  I'm very lucky that mine are both still here with me. 

Wynne - thinking of you today.

Ridley

jmb5

lahela, if the stitch is bugging you, I'd call your PS and see if they can get you in. After watching the PA pull out a couple, I wouldn't want to do it on my own.

I have zero family history of breast cancer on either side of my family. I was diagnosed with DCIS at my very first mammogram when I turned 40, and a recurrence 4 years later with another routine mammogram. The Paget's Disease (I had no symptoms.) was discovered on my nipple by the pathologist after my mastectomy. I had the BRCA test and it was negative. The geneticist told me that they don't have the technology to test every genetic factor, and it's probably a perfect storm of many things, including genetics and environment. I asked when my daughters should have their first mammogram (Right now they are 16, 14 and 11.) and she said at age 30. When I asked my oncologist that question, he said age 35. I asked if my nieces should have early mammograms, the geneticist said no, they are not at increased risk, which surprises me.

annajo

my genetic counselor said to have my daughters begin screening 10 years earlier than I did, so at 31.  My DCIS was so extensive, it could have been there for many years, so I guess it makes sense.  I feel sad that I will have to make them worry and hope this was just a fluke.  I did have my kids late and an early first period, and certainly drank more alcohol than was really necessary in my life, so I had risk factors that are not necessarily genetic.

I love seeing the long term survivors.  

Janet_M

Lahela - Don't pull your stitch! I was warned against it when I had the exact same thing - and the nurse gave me a whole bunch of good reason why. However - I have no memory - and can't remember any of them, no matter how good a reason they were. 

I have no history of breast cancer in my family either. None. But I really feel for those who have lost their loved ones to this stupid disease.  

Teacher64

Just home from 10 day follow up, down 3 drains. The last will likely be around for a while because it's output is around 50 daily. Belly button looks good. The only concern was where the tape had torn off skin on my breasts. Taking extra care. Exhausted. Feel a nap coming on.

brendarj

I have zero family history of BC that I know of. I was 57 when diagnosed my Mom was 90 and didn`t think anyone else had it but remembers her Mother saying `feel this lump between her breasts`. Don`t know if they could even diagnose BC 70 years ago. Other cancers on paternal side (bowel). I found lump myself GP couldn`t feel it so sent me for extra mammogram (was doing every 2 years this was in between year). It was very small under 2cm but had spread to 18 lymph nodes. Keep bugging my daughter (35) to have mammogram but her GP wants to wait till she`s 40. Worries me especially since my husband`s sister and niece were both diagnosed in the last 2 years Hope everyone is doing well. I am patiently waiting for some nice spring weather -14 this am ..brrrr

goldie4040

Lot's of interesting BC history here.  The last time I asked how did you find your BC, very few, to maybe one found it on mammo.  I am glad to see more of you did find yours on mammo.  There was a point where I was beginning to feel they were almost useless. 

Teacher64

Insurance is giving me gray hair! If I didn't have Sonia, who covers it so well, oh my. Insurance is denying payment for the second mammo and biopsy that determined the cancer but has paid some (so far) of the December bmx. They will not wear me down on this because I know that is what they are attempting to do. Cause enough red tape so I will give up...never...I'm going to need money to buy new pants!

lemon68

Zen- You are a strong woman and showing BC where it can go! So sorry you had to lose your family to this disease.

Wynne- Hope you are having a good nap and wake up ready to heal all new.

I was adopted so I don't know about family hx. I was BRCA negative. I started getting mammograms at 30, had them for 14 yrs, a perk of being adopted insurance paid for them at 30. When I got a copy of all of them they had been watching my right side for 7 years. My BS at time told me my cancer was probably there for 7-8 yrs. That would have put me at 36 years old. No idea why they waited so long but I guess that it may have been too small to be detected. If they would have told me I would've had a whole lot more worry.

edited to add- part of my reason for having the ooph and doing this is I don't know the history. Sometimes I think its better to know and sometimes I don't. I am not taking any chances.