DIEP 2014

Ally2345

Teacher64- Well said!

Ally

pollyanna5

Thanks Teacher and Goldie!

debiann

I am considering umx with.DEIP recon on my left side, right side would need a lift. What is the lift surgery like? Do you still have sensation in the breast and nipple? What is the scarring like?

LiLi-RI

Pollyanna - I am 4 weeks out, and I am feeling down too (and grumpy) too! This is tough journey that started well-before our actual surgeries. For me, it began May 2013 with diagnoses, lumpectomy on right, re excision for clean margins, radiation and then detection of cancer in left breast in April 2014.

Now I have a huge red circle of no skin on radiated breast, and I probably need skin graft. I will know on Friday.

Once I read Teacher64's post, I felt better.

The wisdom and compassion from all the ladies in this forum helps so much! I am so thankful!

In absence of this forum, I truly believe this process would have have so much more difficult.

Let's continue to hold hands...and help each other...even if we feel down or bitchy!

Lisa

annajo

Debiann, my PS originally wanted to do a crescent lift on my natural side, but I didn't want to risk losing sensation. so we decided to see how it looked after nipple recon.  Ultimately I think it looks fine and we are just going to leave it.  They are a tiny bit cockeyed, but my original body was also far from perfect.  I think careful placement of the tattoo will also help.  You can do a lift any time so if you're not confident doing it in the first round, you can wait.  I was told that my insurance would always cover symmetry procedures as it was part of the reconstruction- but check on this.

That said, I was told a crescent lift usually doesn't affect sensation. I think a lot depends on the type of lift you have.

wintersocks

Ladies,

I am feeling  impatient for my Diep letter to arrive. I ought to make the most of this time huh? I have another gynae op to on the 21st August too, and I have just this week moved house! In Britain the NHS dictates that surgery must be done within 18 weeks. It's 2 1/2 weeks since I saw the consultant.   Anyone else get this way beforehand?

Thanks to all the ladies here, I feel you are all lighting the way for me!

Ally2345

wintersocks-  Waiting is so hard and it seems that we do a lot of it at various times during this journey.  I am counting the days until my exchange and I think many of us will completely understand your desire to get this process going.  Hope the letter comes soon!!

Ally

goldie4040

Thanks Teacher.  All true. BTW, I have similar indentations to you.  Curious to see how they are dealt with.

Lili, sorry you are feeling down.  3 to 4 weeks always seems to be the bewitching time when a lot of us get a bit of depression.  Hang in there.  Hope there will be no need for skin graft.

I am so excited.  I live in Texas and it's actually under 85 degrees outside in July!!!!!   So rare!!!!!   Feels weird to walk to get the mail and not break out into a sweat. 

naiviv

Hello all,

Heidi, I had several stitches/knots and staples come out of abdominal incision and flap.  I was told to leave them be and they would fall out on their own.  At a PS appt they did take a few out, once removed the opening they created healed fairly quickly.  I had one area in flap that wasn't closing, a stitch fell out and it is now healing nicely. The string/staple would fall out in the shower or when I cleansed the incisions. Usually left a little hole, that was closed by next day. I have been using saline and alcohol to clean. Instructed to use antibacterial ointment one time only when stitch fell out. Keep exposed to air as much as possible. (My PS does not bind or compress anything)

My belly button seems to be finally healing. I was instructed to pack with gauze and keep dry(it was very weepy). It is closing from the bottom up. It seems as if it will close fully, but I think I will just have a shallow opening.

I am 8 weeks out today and I still get very tired when doing things. In 3 weeks I go back for Lat Flap.

Take care all,

Vivian

Andrea623

Teacher, thank you for those beautiful words. I think I need to print them off so I can remind myself of them when things are tough.

Since I'm new to this group, I'm not sure I understand everything you're all referring to. What are crop circles?

I had my CT scan today and it was not a very pleasant experience. I have those small, hard to get veins, and they definitely proved to be a challenge. On the first try, the tech put the needle completely through the vein. They called down an ultrasound nurse, who was supposed to be "the best". He used the US machine to locate a vein, and guide the needle in. Well, it took four tries and 20 minutes. He used the inside of my upper arm and finally got a vein. I had tears streaming down my face from the ordeal, and my arm is really sore and bruised now. I hope my small, uncooperative veins won't rule me out for this surgery. And now after the pain of the IV, I'm nervous about surgery pain.

iowagirl1

The "I thought it was your belly button" comments made me giggle.  Thanks!

I emailed them to the PS department this A.M. with a note and I have not heard anything back. 

debiann

Andrea,Why did you get a CT scan? Is it typically part of the process of DIEP. So sorry it was so difficult.

Andrea623

Debiann, to check out the position of the veins and see if they looked good. Or something like that. My brain is fried right now.

I am very grateful for the women here, who are so helpful and supportive. None of my friends have dealt with cancer, and sometimes they just don't get it.

goldie4040

Oh Andrea, I am sorry about the needle/vein thingy.  I am needle phobic, and they have to hold me down, sedate me, you name it.  I have refused contrast dye on many occasions.  I have heard from some medical people the contrast just makes it less work for the radiologist to read the films. I don't know if that's true, but I have turned it down, and they still see what they need to.

Debiann, almost all diep surgeons cat scan the tummy to find the good vessels before surgery so they know the best place to make the tummy incision, etc.  Also, so there are no surprises.  I have heard of some who go in blind, but very few.

Andrea623

Thanks Goldie. I couldn't sleep last night think about the contrast, and kept telling myself they were professionals, have dealt with difficult veins, and I was overreacting. To have my worst fears come true was so distressing. Just the thought of a needle now gives me anxiety.

Teacher64

Andrea - I had a ct scan experience like yours. Extremely pregnant tech, infiltrated vein, multiple sticks, but it was positive in the end because it showed some good veins. Even if some of your veins are small, they can take a very small strip of muscle like I had done. The side that got that muscle strip with veins is my better boob. The ct experience made me worry about getting stuck in the hospital so I told them about that nightmare and I got a good sticker for the initial IV. No problems and she was in my wobbly thin vein on the first stick. I bet yours works out well, too.

The1toC

mom of three the worry is worse than the procedure. I have not yet heard someone say it wasnt worth it. 

Iowa...was that where a drain was?

Andrea no not everyone has wound issues. No way to predict but preventive efforts include good amount of protein indiet mulrivitamin, vitamin C, no smoking, use fresh towel after shower each time and good wound care but all of that is still no guarantee

Cbrenner radiation effects peak at 6 to 12 months then usually mostly stabilize. I waited awhile after rads but longer than I needed to because of weather for travel, kids( work....

Polly gosh you have aot on your plate. Having down days is normal for everyone and will pass. Hope today is better and brighter for you.

Goldie wounds are slow to heal sometimes for no good reason! When you change the bandage make sure you aren't leaving much goop or dbris/sloughy stuff behind. Are you cleaning it daily with soap or something? Twice a day seems a lot uess you are having lots of oozing...

The1toC

Andrea hope you are healing from your ct ordeal. I once had a bad experience with 11! Sticks for iv! Now I try to drink as much as I possibly can the day prior to my surgery and I think it helps fluff my vessels a bit.

Andrea623

Teacher, thank you for the reassurance. I'm glad to hear there are steps that can be taken if the veins look too small.  I had the same anesthesiologist for all three of my surgeries, and she'd numb me before inserting an IV.  I never had problems with the insertion with her. Wonder if I can request her for this surgery?

The1toC, I'll drink as much water as possible beforehand next time. Thanks for the tip!

enjoyevrymoment

Polly you heard what Teacher said, beautifully.  You sound exactly like I felt when I was where you are.  Be patient with yourself, we all have different ways of getting out the stuff that needs to be dealt with.  I had people act like I was dying tomorrow when they heard I had breast cancer and I was so cheerful and energetic even after surgery initially but later on had it all hit me and that was only recently.  Now I am in a better place but who knows may have some days still that are hard.

Cbrenner, I had lost weight before my surgery so my abdomen only had the fat in the lower part of it (post two c sections, that little bulge that you seem to never get rid of with all the crunches in the world) so having that gone is hugely different, but the part above my belly button looks the same to me.

Andrea best wishes!

Oh my gosh it is getting late have to leave for PT then work, have a great day everyone!

rose111

Andrea, I had a similar experience with my IV for the CT scan, and it rattled me for a few days, but there were no issues at all with the veins  needed for the DIEP procedure.   

LiLi.  I also have an area (triangular) with no skin due to radiation 5years ago.  Mine seems to be covered with a scab.   PS says not too worry, it can be fixed.   My surgery was just a few days after yours, so  my follow up appointment is not for another week. If you don't mind, will you please post after your follow up appointment?   Hopefully the fix will be simple. 

Hope everyone has a happy, healing day.

Anonymous

Vivian...rhanks for the feedback. I had a half inch piece of stirching come out with the pus yesterday when I was cleaning the area. Hoping the belly button will now be able to heal with no further incidence. I also noted a half inch open area on the suture line of my radiated side. It is gross and a pain to deall with.

Andrea...I had the same experience. I had a PET/CT, breast MRI and abdominal CT all in a two week period,   with additional blood draws. It was a nightmare evey time. I am not needle phobic, and use to volunteer for students to practice on. No more...like you I experienced 30 minutes of fumbled attempts to seat the needle prior to  the PET. I now warn techs by telling them my veins may look good but they behave badly. I state emphatically that I need the BEST person they have. Now I will also push for using other than my arms for BP and needle sticks due tothe lymphedema risks.

Question- my chest feels like I laid out in a tropical sun for three hours with no sunblock. It is relentless, and I am  both annoyed and drained by it. PS and BS say nerve regeneration, but they don't seem to have an answer for how long before it resolves. I have never been a patient person, so this is really getting on my nerves...literally. 

OneTexasDay

Pollyana

My Diep was 6/12 and I am dealing with a bunch of the same things.... your post made me feel more OK with where I am so I am reaching out as I might be able to do the same for you.  I tried to send the below as a personal message but the site would not let me for some reason.

I did really well right after surgery but then all I wanted to do was lay around.  I had thought I'd have energy to finally get caught up on some little stuff at the house after such a crazy, lethargic, sometimes depressing 8 months but all I did was sleep.  And then the crying started, There have been some really sad things going on with old friends and aquintenances lately, but things that were sad, for me were crawl back in bed I can't deal with any of this 'sad'.  I thought I felt some ovulatory pain last week so I too am wondering if my cycle is starting back up.

I am back at work part time this week and that seems to have helped, but once I get back home I feel overwelmed again.  Crawl right back in bed and really have pushed back on talking and visiting with many of my friends who gave me space at first and now seem lined up to help and visit which only makes me feel more overwelmed.  Ugh.

This all is not like me, so it has been very frustrating.  My doc, like yours, said a full 3 months to be back to 100%, but I think I was thinking 90% by wk 4 and that has just not been the case. 

Hang in there!  I am here if you need to vent. 

 

Teacher64

OneTexasDay and Pollyanna - the feeling of being overwhelmed will go away. You are still early in the recovery, so don't be too hard on yourself, especially OTD since you are back at work. I know I was not even close to 90% at week 4. It was about week 5-6 that I turned a corner. It was a challenge for me to accept help from others thinking they didn't know what I was going through, but that is exactly it. They don't know (and I hope they never have to experience this) but want to help in the ways they know...meals, a quick phone call, a visit or an outing together. I told myself to "buck up and move on" but saying an doing are two different things. I've begun going to a support group because I was really down last month. It is beneficial to share here, but also in person. Our families and friends love us and wish us the best, but if you are like me, you want to spare others your personal gloominess, but letting it out is healthier than holding it all in. Being able to express feeling gloomy, overwhelmed, or down right angry allows those feelings an exit so we can concentrate on our well- being and healing. OTD, I hope you are enjoying this unusually cool rainy TX July day.

TinaHoff

Andrea623 -

I, too, have terribly hard to find veins.  When I had my DIEP flap surgery, the surgical team ended up putting my IV line in my index finger.  I was out, so I didn't feel it.  However, my first night in ICU after the surgery (ICU is common practice in my area after this type of surgery, due to the necessity of intensive monitoring of the blood flow to the new flap), my night nurse looked at that IV line, and told me that next time I have to come in for surgery, I should ask for a PICC line.  I didn't know what this was at the time, but I just looked it up, and it's exactly what you describe in your post.  An ultrasound guided IV line inserted in your upper arm.  Still not a pleasant experience, as you found out, but my night nurse thought it would have been a better option to have an IV line in my arm, than my index finger.

And by the way, you totally did not overreact about your experience.  It's extremely frustrating having small, difficult to find veins.  And when it takes several professionals multiple times to get it right, it sends me right over the edge.  Yes, I know it's not their fault, and they are doing their very best in difficult circumstances - but holy crap, as patients, we're all doing our best, too!  We've all been through plenty just to GET to the point of reconstruction, I think it's perfectly normal to cry and to want to throw in the towel when so many people are hell bent on getting your blood - even if it is for your benefit, ultimately. But every now and again, I just have to cry, get mad, or express my frustration.

One of my favorite posters (Janet_M) has a saying in her signature line - Just because you're having a meltdown doesn't mean you're not coping.

annieb4

I agree so much how you all feel about being down. I had my DMX May of 213, and it swear I have some harder days now than I had back then, I think it is just such a long drawn out process, and so many corners to turn and it becomes overwelming at times and it just doesn't seem to end. I had someone tell me the other day the worst is over. But with my DMX and chemo and radiation, it was all so fast and I was being told to do this and that and I didn't have time to just sit and think like I do know. When I was diagnosed, I figured in a year I will be good as new..Well that was 14 months ago and I am still waiting for the reconstruction process. And even tho I look OK on the outside and I am able to do most of what I did before, my emotional state has changed forever.  But hey, could be worse..and it is a beautiful day here in ND (we don't get many) and I am going to go out and enjoy it..

pollyanna5

teachermum One texas day, Thanks!  It's good to know I'm not alone and not nuts.  Sometimes it feels like I'm losing my mind!  I did so well afterwards emotionally, or was to numb, so I appeared that way, even to myself, so this is so not like me and I don't know quite what to do with it.  He won't authorize me back to work until the fall, so I will just go with that and enjoy the summer with the gang and rest.

Work is stressing me out too.   My client I was working with passed away when I was off, so I will have to pick up another one in the fall, or switch jobs (respite work with disabled adults, but a teacher/librarian, but no jobs in that).   I was just getting back on my feet following divorce and my kids were a bit older, and my two asperger's kids are settled, so I was just at the place where I could go back to work more.  But at 41, I have this urgency of getting a career going and cancer just mucked that up this year. I spent my 20s in school, and trying to get established.  Then my late 20s going through infertility, and finally twins at 30.  I then spent the next 6 years pregnant or nursing.  Then divorce, bankruptcy/foreclosure, two children diagnosed, father's illness and passing last year. I get that that is life often, but just feel the weight of it more at times like this.  I think as well, that cancer (and even then, it was only early, so I should "buck up" and move on, in my mind) was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.

I see my couensellor I see every month or two, to kind of vent and sort through things.  I am not sure if I am in need of some meds or just down and this is normal.  I am going to ask him about a support group, and if he thinks it would be a good idea for me.  I will see.  

My church has been been very good with meals, and helpign run the kids around.  Parents from my kids school have helped a lot.  So that has been great.  But on the other hand, it's feels like I've had help for a month, so I should be good.  Cancer is all out, I'm good. etc, etc, etc.  It's in my head I'm sure, but it is bugging me.

I am still just blah.  and I thnk some was hormones as my cycle did start and that just made me feel even more off.

So not as much fun still today.  Hopefully tomorrow is a bit better.   It is good to vent it out.

iowagirl1

the1toc  It is a photo of the divot caused by an anchor stitch under the breast.  I have several.  Sent the photos to my PS's office yesterday morn and never heard back.

goldie4040

The1toC, I have none the issues that would cause a wound problem.  I am not over weight, I eat a very healthy diet, I do not smoke, etc.  The problem was my doc pulled my stomach so tight I still can't stand up straight without pain and tightness, and I can't imagine how something that is pulled everyday will every close.  Yes, I clean it, and I was told to change the dressing twice a day.  

OneTexasDay, I am sorry you are feeling so sad, and overwhelmed.  I do get my downs days.  Some of mine are more "fed up" days, I believe.  Have you talked to your doc about something that might help with the depression?  It certainly isn't anything to be ashamed of, and in the business he is in, he has seen it before.  I hope you feel better soon, and please....vent vent vent!!!!

Pollyanna, too bad you and OneTexasday don't live closer to each other.  You could go out for a drink and vent together!!!  Lord knows we need people who understand what we are going through.  Hang in there guys. .

I am in Texas myself, and I am just happy it's under 80 degrees and raining.  What an awesome gift we are being given.  In all my years of living here it has never done this in July.

Andrea623

Thank you all for letting me know I wasn't a drama queen over my CT scan. Your words and knowing others have felt this way, have made me feel so much better. I'm so lucky to have found BCO!