where are the single ladies? dealing with BC without a partner

edenneworleans

i need to hear from others who are dealing with breast cancer and especially mastectomies WITHOUT the support of a mate or partner. I am single with no kids. facing a double mastectomy in two weeks. need to talk to other single women. ive read so many testimonies about how women felt they could not have survived such an ordeal without their mate. well what happens to those of us without mates? 

bren3

I don't have a partner and I survived it just fine. I have 3 kids though so never had the choice to just lay around when I wasn't feelling well. I honestly think this helped most days. It forced me to get up and go about my life....kind of a suck it up and do it thing. But I can't deny that some days I would have loved to just lay in bed and have someone look after me and the house. I have often wondered what going through treatment would have been like with someone around and always there for me...but I think this worked out well for me. Not everyone is the same. Just remember that you can do this and will get through this. All these changes and crappy things are for right now, not forever. Hugs.

grammaB

I live alone and got through it just fine too.  DH passed in '97, have lived alone since then.  My kids are grown and live in CA.  They came separately and spent several days with me in the very beginning.  DD was here for sx and 2 days after.  DS came in at day 10 and also stayed 3 days.  So I was totally on my own (except for the cat) the day after I came home from the hospital until DS arrived.  I was really surprised at how much I was able to do right away. I sat in the recliner a lot as I did tire really easily for several months.  I still do if I really overdo, but I guess that will pass in time.

For me having no one here was good, I didn't have to worry about taking care of anyone but myself, I could sleep when I wanted, eat when I wanted, and skip any chores I wanted!!  I think it forced me to get up and moving more because anything that needed doing, I was going to have to do it.  I am actually a bit of a hermit so being alone is not difficult or sad for me.  

You can do it, you will be surprised at the strength you will find within yourself. A partner or hubby is not a necessity to get through it. One thing I did do was get home health care scheduled for the first couple of weeks.  I was bound in a wide ace bandage for about 10 days and there was no way I could rewrap it after my showers.  She came, undid it, I showered, she rewrapped me and was on her way. Doing that might ease some of your concerns about being alone. 

Hugs, you can do it just fine alone!

Anonymous

just an FYI:

There is a thread here called Single Life After Mastectomy that is quite active.

Beesie

There are lots of us who've made it through a MX or BMX without a partner or kids.  And lots of us who can tell you, from personal experience, that there is life and love on the other side.

Check out the threads in this forum: 

Singles with breast cancer

Here are a couple of the threads from this forum that you might find interesting:

Dating After Recostruction (and CANCER!)

Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?

Single life after a mastectomy

As you'll see when you read those threads, you are definitely not alone! 

((((Hugs)))

curveball

I am single with no children I had single mastectomy, not a double like
you are planning. I was very worried about being on my own after
surgery, so I went and stayed with my mom. As it turned out, I could
very easily have been on my own for that part of my treatment. I was sore and tired, but I've felt
sicker from a bad case of the flu than I did when I got home from the hospital. In the short term, you might want to have some friends check in on you by phone or email, just to make sure you're OK. I also think grammaB's suggestion about setting up home health care appointments might be a good one.