Revision surgeries are taking it's toll on me

battscave

Hello everyone

This is my first post.

I was diagnosed with BC in my left breast. in 2012. I did 6 rounds of Chemo, and before radiation was to start, I opted for a bi-lateral mastectomy. I never wanted this monster back again, and wanted to lessen my chances the best I could.

I got the skin stretching done and finally the implants. Nothing has really gone right. I have full trust in my surgeon and he told me it was going to be long road to get this as best as possible, but as he said time and time again that things will never be the same and they will not be perfect.

So far I have had 4 revision surgeries, and again my right side is folding and becoming a mess again. I opted for silicone implants. I went back to my PS and he said that he would suggest I get a bigger implant.. My chest wall is large, and my implants are too small. It is all my idea to go smaller since I have always had large natural breasts, and looked forward to smaller ones. Well that is not what my chest can deal with.

I have 2 decisions to make.. do I go with the bigger size and yet another line of surgeries to come with revisions .... or do I ask to have them removed all together and just live my life flat, and wear the pop ins when I want? I really dont think I can continue with these monumental surgeries. They take so much out of me. I am tired... worn out and want my life back.

Have any of you had your implants removed?

Any help would be very much appreciated

Erica3681

Hi battscave,

I saw that you also posted on the Reconstruction forum, so I gather you've decided to return to your PS to see what he suggests for you. But in case you're still considering other options, you might want to take a look at my non-profit website, BreastFree.org. In the Personal Stories section, there are a couple of stories by women who have chosen to have their implants removed: Susan's Story and Joan's Story.

Though it seems that you're leaning toward continuing with the reconstruction process, I still urge you to get a second opinion about what to do next. Even though it sounds as if you like and trust your original surgeon, after four revisions perhaps it's time to see if there might be another, better approach for you.

Whatever you decide, I hope you're able to feel better soon. Repeated surgeries are exhausting and one of the reasons many of us at this forum opted for no reconstruction. I hope your next procedure resolves your issues.

battscave

wow those stories were great. I really did think I was the only person in the world that was considering a deconstruction (love that word by the way) Thank you for pointing out these stories to me . I appreciate that very much

msphil

hello honey, I found my lump just before my wedding, I was busy when it happened,I got the L mast, and reconsatruction at the time of surgery, well after just a couple expander fills as I lay on my couch I sat up in severe pain, hubby rushed to E R and was found to have a high fever my body rejected the expander and it was removed I have been wearing a prothesis and am doing well, 19 yrs Later, SURVIVOR(Praise GOD), good luck you and us all are in my prayers. msphil(idc,stage2, 0/3 nodes, L mast, chemo and rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen).

Anonymous

Happily explanted very small silicone implants that had been sitting under my pectoral muscle, and sliding into my armpit on one side. HATED the feeling when ever I used my pec muscle, any kind of good exercise, yoga, and was thrilled when PS agreed to remove them in her office. NO pain. Just SURPRISED to find one had ruptured, so was a little more difficult to get out. SO HAPPY I EXPLANTED. Would NEVER, NEVAH, had them put in if the first PS I first saw hadn't convinced me "how easy" it was going to be. I wasn't going to have reconstruction, admit I let myself be talked into it, and now WARN WARN other women who may be as vulnerable as I was ( and I am NOT usually) after diagnosis. The surgeon I saw "urged" me to see "her PS" b4 surgery, implied she wouldn't feel "comfortable" operating unless I did, and I went along.

NEVAH, NEVAH, NEVAH let yourself, no matter how vulnerable you feel, be talked into thinking ANY surgical procedure will be "easy." Brrrrr...getting the shivers thinking how much I regret going to that surgeon & her "friend."

Good luck with whatever you choose to do. LOVE being flat, well, concave actually, and thrilled not to ever need a bra. Originals were VERY large.

battscave

wiping tears and wishing to thank you for the encouragement.

I just came back from my PS and he said that I have the biggest implants available. I know this to be true for a fact. He said my other options is to get custom made implants to accommodate my large chest wall, or have them removed all together.

I wonder how big they would have to be to customize them?? I am already at a 800cc low profile silicone implant.

I drove home crying,. I just want my stinking life back and not to have to think about this anymore. I wonder how I would react to being flat and have nothing there.. Could I emotionally handle it?

So terribly sad right now. All I want is for the normal life again. Not the never ending round a bout with these painful implants.

ziggypop

I am sorry, battscave. This is hard, there's just no way around that, I so wish it were easier for everybody.

battscave

Just coming to the realization that there isn't anymore options for me is scary.

I guess I need to toughen up and go forward with the removal of the implants and then do things a different way to what I imagined.

battscave

surgery is scheduled for January.

Vivtwins

Dear Battscave, 

I am in the UK so treatments and stuff are different but I had a bilateral mx after grade 5 ductal carcinoma in situ and then had temporary implants put in so I wouldn't end up completely flat.  I was home for 10 days and got a bad infection in the left one.  I ended up having the left one removed but kept the right one.  Spent 7 months going around lopsided and in May this year I had the other one removed.  I am now completely flat but under discussion with PS to have a bilat diep but I am at the moment needing to lose 5 stones in weight before they will do the op!  I am now looking into living breast free and a flat life because like you I just want to get back to my life and live normally without all this hanging over me.  I'm sick of it to be honest and would be happy to live flat if I could get rid of my big belly!!!

I have another appointment with my PS in March but I am able to put this back as often as I wish until I'm ready to decide whether or not I want to go ahead with it at all!  Who knows.  I need to work on one thing at a time.

I hope you can make an informed decision but I have no regrets in my decision to have my implants removed.

Lots of love

Viv xxx