Who is your heroine? or who is not?

crystalphm

I would love to hear your experiences about having no breasts...either your reaction or another person's reaction. Women are real heroes for each other, role models and nurturers and I would love to see more of this come out.

So I will start. I met a woman 2 years ago with no breasts...she looked amazing! Not the gorgeous skinny athletic figure, but generous healthy figure, gently padded. She did have the buddah belly under control. I never spoke to her, but she became my role model. She was smiling, confident, self assured and she wore the look of a woman who **survived**. I knew I could rise from my own mire of self hatred to become like her...and I sure did.

Fast forward to last week. I ran into her again, but this time I told her my thoughts. Her jaw dropped opened because she said she was having reconstruction in a few weeks. She was honestly shocked by my thoughts. Fast forward again...(a second encounter) and she said she has got to live as she needs to live...flat and beautiful. She even admitted her husband did not want her to do the recon for many reasons.

Women are awesome. And we never know who we inspire, face to face, or meeting here!!

Blessings2011

My mom is my hero. In 1983, when she was 60 years old, she was dx'd with BC. Of course in those days there wasn't much testing, and not much in the way of treatment.

She was lucky - it hadn't spread to her lymph nodes, her liver, or her bones (funny the things you remember) so all she had was a radical mastectomy. It was pretty brutal. Her scar was huge and scary. But I loved looking at it because it meant that I still had my mom with me.

She never lost her dignity or her sense of humor. She'd go in for a mammogram on the remaining breast and tell the tech "Now remember - you're only going to charge me half price!"

She passed in 2009 from Parkinson's, at the age of 88, with no recurrence of cancer.

Two years later, I would be dx'd with BC at the same age Mom was. My first impulse was to call my mom. I needed to hear her voice telling me everything would be o.k. Sadly, I couldn't do this, but all along my path I have heard her voice, calming me and guiding me.

Whatta woman!!!! Miss her every day.

Ariom

Blessings, your story echos mine, my Mother is my Hero too.

It was '94, just after my Father passed away when my Mother came into my house, which was right next door to her house. She had found a lump, when she held her hand under her left arm to warm it while sitting, talking on the phone in the chilly hallway.

A few weeks later she was in Hospital having a radical Mx and Axillary clearance . I was terrified for her. She came down with a terrible infection, which almost took her from me.

Fortunately, she made it, but through it all, she never lost her dignity, or her wicked sense of humor.

I was in awe of that scar, and how she dealt with it all. I am certain that my own experience would have been very different, had I not had her as my roll model.

My Mother never had any recurrence, that we were aware of. Sadly several years later, dementia came calling and eventually robbed her of all her memories. Somehow, she never forgot me, and would light up when she saw me. I visited her every day in the nursing home where she passed away 9 years later.

There's not a day, I don't think of her, and feel grateful to have had her as my Mother.

Erica3681

Crystal,

It sounds as if you had a profound impression on the woman who had such a big impact on you!

My mother-in-law was a role model for me--she lived with a mastectomy for over fifty years (one breast removed at age 31 and the other when she was 46). She developed her own style of dressing to match her free spirit and always looked beautiful. Also, because of her my DH and two sons were familiar with the idea of mastectomy, which probably made it easier for them to deal with my situation.

But the person who had a more dramatic impact on me was the cousin of a friend whom I met when I found out that I was facing a mastectomy. My friend, herself, was quite an inspiration. She had been diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer and lived for seven years afterward, during which she never lost her sense of humor or her compassion for others.

She introduced me to her cousin, who told me her story--when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and needed a bilateral mastectomy, she was told that for other medical reasons she shouldn't have immediate reconstruction, but could consider it in a year. After about six months, she realized that she had no interest in reconstruction, nor did she wish to wear silicone breast forms, which she found hot and heavy. She told me that she wears weightless foam forms in a regular bra and feels attractive, comfortable and, most important to her, free. She looked great and clearly felt herself to be whole and healthy.

After meeting her, I made my decision not to have reconstruction. Through her, I not only saw confirmation that you don't need breasts to feel whole and beautiful, but I also learned that when living without reconstruction, I wouldn't have to wear a particular type of breast form or any forms at all--I could find my own path. While I knew this intellectually, seeing this woman putting it into practice was very inspirational.