So very confused

janus270

So very confused

janus270

Hi there everyone

To start things off, I'm here for my mother. She does not use computers, nor do I think she ever will use one simply out of stubbornness. Our story is a little bit confusing for the both of us - we're trying to piece things together and figuring out where we go from here. My mom has a history of cancer in her family (which means that I do too) and is 64 years old. Furthermore, keep in mind that while she is not exactly a shining example of health - she regularly sees a doctor.

In May, my mom found a lump under her left arm. She went to her GP and informed him of it and was told that she should get it checked out. Then time went on without anything happening. The lump was painful and it kept growing. She went to the doctor again and asked when it could be looked at, all the while this painful thing kept growing and growing. She told me a few weeks ago that she was finally going to see the surgeon to have it removed with a simple local anesthetic - but when the surgeon looked at it, my mom said that she shook her head and said that she couldn't remove it without knowing if it was cancerous or not. A mammogram, biopsy and ultrasound later and here we are, all of this happening within two weeks time. My mother found out that it was cancerous, but how she described it to me, very treatable. We all have a very positive outlook on it, but of course, we have questions.

For seven months my mother had cancer before she saw anyone about it. Waiting that long, we have to imagine that may complicate the treatment process, even if it is highly treatable. How long did it take your GP to schedule you for more in-depth tests?

Full disclosure, I'm extremely angry and confused. How does this sort of thing happen? I always told my mom while she was waiting that if it was cancer, the doctor would have scheduled her appointment sooner, or scheduled further tests sooner. Now I just don't know what to believe.

All the best in your journey,

Tarrah

wyo

HI Tarrah

Glad you found us though wish you did not have to- its a great community.

I understand your anger and confusion. It seems like somehow between your mom finding this thing, telling the doc who said "it should get checked out" and the time lag to see the surgeon- somehow the connection or referral did not happen? Its hard to figure out if your mom's GP thought she was doing something but its clear she thought he/she was going to arrange something from your post.

Fast forward to today- do you have any more specific information about the biopsy results and reports? If you know the specifics the people on this site have a ton of wisdom and experience and the moderators can also guide you to good information on the site.

For now I would focus on getting a very clear treatment plan and timeline. Is it possible for you to go with your mom to any of these appointments to "hear" it from the doctor instead of second hand?

NancyHB

Tarrah,

I'm so sorry that you find yourself here, but as wyo pointed out you will also find lots of information and support here as you help your mom.

You have every right to be frustrated and angry, for so many reasons. Once we hear the word "cancer" or feel our doctors know (of even suspect) this disease, our expectation is that things will move very quickly, that time is of the essence, and waiting at all will cause more problems. Doctors don't always know that something is cancer, and so there isn't often a sense of urgency until there is confirmation. In my case, after a mamm and US my GP suggested I wait six months to "see what happens" but I chose to have it removed and, sure enough, it was cancer. Had I waited 6 months - who knows what it would have looked like? The doctor really didn't know it was cancer, and apologized profusely. But once I got a biopsy and diagnosis, everything moved very quickly.

Now that you have a diagnosis, things will likely move quickly. Wyo's suggestion of going to appointments with your mother is very helpful - that allows your mom to focus on the doctor, and you can take notes, ask questions, and support her during this time. And since your mom doesn't use the computer, you may be able to do some research for her (and finding BCO is a great place to start!) to help her make decisions. Having a partner in all of this is invaluable!

I wish you both luck and peace; please do come back and let us know how your mother (and you!) are doing.

janus270

Thank you both

It's not always possible for me to go with my mother to her appointments due to work, but my father goes with her. I will be getting more information in the coming days. Hopefully that should clear up any confusion that either one of us have about the diagnosis and treatment.



All the best,

Tarrah