Need a Bit of Support (Worrying)

lifelover

Need a Bit of Support (Worrying)

lifelover

Hi there my Stage III friends,

I don't feel that I want to complain to my darling partner or my family or my friends about this. They have had to deal with so much.

I stopped taking tamoxifen in October after taking it for 2 years. I was having so many aches and pains and hot flushes - and I wanted a vacation.

Finally went to see my breast cancer specialist at the hospital and she ordered some blood tests to see what my hormone levels were like - whether or not I was in menopause. The blood tests came back abnormal in that some of the results were saying I wasn't yet in menopause and some results saying that I was. She said she would consult with my oncologist and see where we go from here.

My specialist told me that I would have to go back on an anti-estrogen of some kind and that would depend on whether I was pre or post menopause. In the meantime, she's giving me acupuncture and acupressure for the hot flushes.

Well, in the past few weeks I've had various viruses which resulted in ear and sinus infections (not like I've ever had before) and I'm having constant pain in my neck. My specialist felt my neck glands and approved me seeing a chiropractor and sports masseuse to help ease my neck pain. It slightly worked and now I'm in pain again.

Yesterday, rather weirdly, I started having constant breast pain in the breast that had the grade 3 cancer in with 3 positive nodes. Well, this breast was reconstructed. Is this fantom pain? Or a possible recurrence?

I'm also super tired but if I spend too much time in bed, I hurt worse. I guess I'm worried about relapse or mets. I wish I could just put all of this behind me.

Really, I don't want to feel like this and I have tried to be "positive" but I can't help thinking the worst.

Anyway, I could use some support and some advice.

Thanks in advance.

Momine

Lifelover, I am sorry you are going through these worries. I hope the docs can come up with some answers soon.

Bonitaj

Hello Lifelover.. I am not Stage 3.. but I came across your post and I thought that I should say something about how having BC.. makes you feel.. I have very similar worries and fears as you do. I am sure we all have them.. Having BC.. isn't something I ever thougth I would experience. It is very difficult at best..!! I don't have the answers to your medical concerns.. but, I have decided to give myself permission to have my feeling.. Sometimes I roll around in them.. then I pick myself up and do everything I can for myself and for those around me.. That's when I feel better. Thats when I feel my strongest.. I pray and ask God to help me fing the strength to Live...!! To Live Well.. and to know that I am Blessed, to Live..!! I am praying for you, your family and All f us here and our families.. God Is Able to Keep us..!! Do All you can and Let God do the rest.. xoxoxoxo... Bj

RosesToeses

Lifelover, ((hugs)) as you go trough this stressful time! For what little it's worth, I have't heard of any of your symptoms being symptoms of recurrence or metastasis, which I think is always the big fear. Hope your doctor gets you back to feeling well soon!

sbelizabeth

Lifelover, something about your post triggered me to think "depression." Lots of pain, super-tired, spending too much time in bed... Have you considered asking you MO for an antidepressant?

When I was first diagnosed I spent SO much time worrying about the "what ifs" and I lost 40 pounds in two month's time. Ordinarily I'd be jumping up and down with joy over the weight loss, but I couldn't figure out why I was losing weight, and I thought it was because I was full of cancer and that's just what happens. My MO laughed (gently) and said, "you're not full of cancer, you're depressed." And she put me on a SSRI drug that really helped pull me out of the miserable, worried darkness.

Just something to consider.

karen1956

I agree with what the other gals have said....its not that long since you stopped the tamox....remember that we get the "run of the mill" stuff just like we did before BC.....sinus infections can make you tired...my BC side bothers me at times...feels like a bra that is uncomfortable...gets really itchy (but funny cause I don't have feeling in it).....I get aches and pains...my arm sometimes feels full....My onc always asks about pains that have gone on for 2+ weeks. and getting worse....things that come and go are probably not mets......Hoping the acupuncture and acupressure help.....(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Kicks

Has your Vit. D level been checked recently?  We are now into times of low sunshine/daylight hours which does effect our life.  I have had issues with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) since we moved here - long before IBC DX in '09.  I have to fight to keep my levels up to close to normal with using my light box daily (artifical sunshine) and taking Vit. D pills daily.  Low Vit. D effects so much of our life.

lifelover

Wow, Ladies, thank you so much for the love

Elizabeth, I understand what you're saying and I've suffered with depression for a long time now. I take Venlafaxine (Effexor) and have done quite a lot of therapy. I think my head is in a good space as far as depression but I do feel more tired than I have for a long time. I suppose it could be overwork but I only work about 16 hours a week (I'm a private music teacher/musician and love what I do).

Karen, you are so right - sometimes every little thing can cause worry.

Bonitaj, I love what you say about "rolling around" and finally picking yourself and moving on. Yeah, I really want to move on now.

Kicks, yes, I've been hearing a lot about vitamin D and have been thinking of adding D3 to my diet. I'll get my levels checked first though. I do have a light box for the mornings over breakfast and our alarm clock is a light that imitates sunrise by slowing getting brighter and brighter.

OK, I'm feeling much more positive. I'm done "rolling around" in it and ready to move on.

Thanks girls. Hugs to you all.