Starting Chemo in December 2013

RHGSR

love your pictures ladies. I love the descriptions of. "Raw ,honest" and especially "beautiful". You are all beautiful and amazing women. Each of us are different with different journeys and walks but the beauty, and heart, and love, and strength shines through - and we all share in that. What I love about all of you is that even though it is through words and pictures we gather these qualities from each other when one of us is low in one. Love you all!!

I had the DIEP RECON back in November 2013. I kind of wish now that I had gone with implants. But my situation is so different in that I wasn't supposed to have all the extra stuff they found at surgery.  My radiated side is shrunk up and my other side is all spread out. I asked if he could add implants but he said that since he did microsurgery that the implants could compromise the blood flow. I guess I'll feel better about it once I'm able to get in my remaining recon surgeries. 

jbokland

Look at you!!  Bald, bold and Beautiful!!!   Really lovely and peaceful!

Crazywabbit

JB and Michelle. you are both magnificent, brave and beautiful. 

DJJ

Ladies, YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!!!! I love the pictures!

Date three was great! We had brunch and went for a walk by the water.  He held my hand :-) When the waitress brought us our bill she said "would you like to donate a dollar for breast can...." I didn't even let her finish her sentence when I said "yes" and continued my conversation.  I panicked when she said BC and my heart jumped in my throat. So I am a chicken shit! I had the perfect opening and didn't take it.  We are spending the day together Saturday.  It's supposed to be cold so we're renting a movie.  So it will be one on one with no crowds.  YIKES! I am going to do it then and whatever happens happens.  I'm having fun with him. He may not be the one but he can sure be "How Debbie got her groove back!"

RHGSR

DJJ- I haven't been reading too many posts (just skimming lately) but I did read your first one about when to say anything about BC. And I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I don't think you're chicken at all!! The timing just wasn't right even though it may have seemed like it was. Maybe it was just a seed being planted. Have fun girl and definitely get your groove back!! 

kimie06

beautiful images ladies !!!

kjfromca

Good morning ladies - 

Jbok & Michelle - I agree with Kimmie, beautiful images.

I had my labs and chest X-ray yesterday, praying for clear lungs and good blood.  Actually my lungs are feeling good these past couple of days.  However, I don't want to ignore this and stress over it.  My bs thinks that my tissue expander is pressing in on my chest, which could be part of the problem.  The guy who took my X-ray yesterday, made a comment about my TE being large.  FYI for those of you who have TEs, I was told to massage the area to stretch the skin and increase blood flow.

Kim

DJJ

Kim, When do you find out the results?  I'm thinking of you.

I have a question.  I don't have any body odor anymore. Haven't had it since chemo. I don't even have to use deodorant anymore. I'm back to my normal workout and still sweat normal but I don't have to add ammonia to the wash anymore when I'm washing my workout clothes.  I asked my MO and she said that radiation damages the pores.  I said both sides.  She had no idea.  Not that I'm complaining but it's just weird.  Anybody else. 

Also, my hair that is supposed to be so healthy and unprocessed gets easily coated with hair products and feels waxy. I hardly use anything!  I did an apple cider vinegar rinse tonight to try and get the build up off. When I colored my hair and used more products I never got buildup.  Another weird thing.    

Lisaj514

omg, DJ, same thing here with the sweating! Barely sweat anymore, both sides and also no BO after sweating. Still using the toms deodorant because it washes off much easier than my heavy duty deo used prior and is more natural.. Ok not complaining either.

RHGSR

ok Lisa and DJJ - major jealously here in Texas. I sweat like a crazy person.   I'm Sure it's probably the combo Aromasin and steroids. But I will be soaked like I've just had a shower (but without the Irish spring fresh smell).  I use TOMS but it's no help. 

kjfromca

DJJ -  Thanks for thinking of me.  I got all my results today.  My lungs are clear and my blood is in the normal ranges.... I am so happy!!!! My one year anniversary is tomorrow, I had my mx on 10/31.   Hopefully I can take the month of Nov. off from tests.  I have a colonoscopy in December.   My arm pits don't stink either when I sweat.    I haven't noticed any buildup with hair products.  I hope you have a great time this weekend with Mr. Six Pack!

Kim

RHGSR

Kim!! Great news. 

I will add you to my jealousy list of sweet swelling dry pits!!

chicopeach57

Scanxiety, sounds like it should be a Mel Brooks movie.  Mammogram today and meet with PS about my ever shrinking right boob.  RO says it still has some swelling, which means it will shrink more, almost a cup size difference now. Feel like I just put my favorite pair of jeans in the dryer and they don't fit anymore.  Here it is 4 months after last rad and still having swelling from it, tells you how hard that shit is on us.  Holli really, really understands!

Kim - glad to hear the lungs are good, know you were concerned.

Debbie - Have lots of fun tomorrow!  It isn't that easy to tell someone that matters.  I enjoy hearing about Mr. Rock Hard! 

Just an fyi here, lube has become my new best friend now, never needed it before , like Wet better than Astroglide, organic coconut oil is good too, way too many choices at the adult toy store.

I too have quit using deodorant, I don't smell me, if anyone else has the have kept quiet...

Kim, I think I'm going to move in with Phillip, just clothes first and put everything in storage.  I am still majorly gun shy, want an exit strategy just in case, and I know that is messed up, but it is what it is. 

Hope y'all have an awesome holiday weekend!  Love you.

 

 

jbokland

My favorite Halloween Costume (from 2 years ago) but will work better now with smaller foobs!  2 wine cubes from Target with most of the wine emptied out of the bladders.  We made a bra out of it and I poured my own wine out of the front spigots all night!   Happy Halloween!

Lisaj514

omg, this group is the best!

Jb, YOUR a hoot, to use your own words! Just too funny. I want to come to your Halloween parties!

Ok to clarify, I sweat a lot at night and also some during the day but not under pits and me too Chico, lol, I don't smell me and hopefully no one else does either!

We say things here that I wouldn't say to anyone else. 

DJJ, updates needed this weekend on mr rock hard, aka, mr six pack, aka,mr hard chest, mr hot date etc. good luck though with the big C if it comes up

Kim, awesome, congrats. This years Halloween will be better for sure.

chicopeach57

NED!!!!! Woot Woot!

Surgery to even/reduce and lift scheduled for Dec 12th. 

JB - Love the costume!

jbokland

Congrats ChicoPeach!!!!!!!!!!

DJJ

Chicopeach,  WOHOOOO!  I love NED!!! I still have a little swelling from rads as well.  It used to be my small boob but it is a little bigger then my small boob now.  I want the swelling to go down to make my boob perfectly symmetrical.  Is that asking for too much :-) Thanks for the tips on the lube.  That is just as big of a concern to me as the BC.....Sigh

I also have been making my friends smell my arm pits ;-) Just to make sure it's not my nose that can't smell my pits anymore!

JB, I love the costume.  I was a unicorn last night but I like the wine idea better.

Now I must straighten the house for my rainy day movie date.  I'm a bit nervous.

kimie06

BRCA -------------------------------NEGATIVE !!!!! but I have more to say, just not enough time right now..whole other issue -- dont worry

luv yas !! xo

Mikesgirl17

Hi girls.  Just checking in.  I got back from Vegas on Tuesday and have been right out straight since then.  I haven't really been able to read all the posts.  Hope everyone is doing good.  Kim (Canada) awesome on the BRCA negative!  Kim (California), I hope your tests come back good and your chest feels better soon.  I have had a cold for over 4 weeks now.  Horrible cough, runny nose etc.  Had a great time in Vegas.  i haven't been in 2 years and I didn't have the stamina I used to.  My hip pain came back and my legs felt like lead.  Especially when we got off the plane in Philly and had to hustle to make our connection.  I just couldn't keep up with my sisters.  People just don't understand that sometimes my legs just don't move the way their's do.  My shins cramp up and just stop working.  We almost missed our flight.  Here are some pics.  Happy Saturday!

Jodi040812

I have written two long post and poof:(  so!  Quickly- I have read all!!  NED Whoo hoo! Everyone looking great!  Holli glad you are feeling better and continue to pray!!  Here is a pic of me today.  Hair is coming in and now starting to hit the "I had a cute pixie cut and now it is growing out- bad"  lol!!

jbokland

you look great Jodi!   I find I have to keep it very texturized to keep it managed.  I don't know if I can survive a grow out.... I may be a pixie queen 

DJJ

Kimie,  YAY! BRCA negative. So happy and relieved for you.  WOHOOO!!!! I hope everything else is ok.

Mikesgirl, Looks like a great trip.  My hip pain comes and goes too.  Now it's just my right hip.

Jodi, You look great!

I got my port out today!!!!! No more alien lump in my chest.  I think I was the only patient getting prepped for surgery that was excited for surgery. 

Saturday's Date with rock hard chest guy was awesome.  It ended up being a 22 hour date :-) and yes I did get up the courage to tell him about BC.  He has some tattoos and had just had one worked on so I used that as a way to slide in the BC.  Remember when I wanted a big huge tattoo on my side and over my lumpectomy scar and changed my mind after radiation tattoos...OUCH!  I told that story very casually.  He didn't even pause, flinch or react.  He just kept the conversation going and said that would be an awesome tattoo and he would talk me into getting it...phew! Then later when his hand went over my port I tensed up and apologized for the hard lump in my chest.  He looked me in the eye and told me to NEVER ever apologize about that, that it is not something that I should ever apologize for.  So sweet, I might keep him ....Ummmmm why was his hand in a place where he could feel my port you ask? I'm not telling :-)

RHGSR

JB- Great Costume!! Love your sense of humor. 

Chico- Go NED!! Congrats!

Kimmie- Yea BRCA - 

Robin - Great Vegas Pics!! I have never been. Hubby and I talked about going for his 40th birthday this December but with all my set backs it doesn't look like it will happen this year. 

DJJ - you go girl!! What an amazing sounding hard chested man!! 

Jodi - loving the hair!!

Still weaning off the roids. Down to 30mg for this weak. But coming off them is just as bad as being on them. So ready to feel good. Almost feel like I'm going through chemo again. Ugh

Here are my goblins

missy6758703

Catching up after being gone all weekend on a crazy "family/girls" weekend to Deadwood, SD.   As most probably saw on FB, we went to the Long Island Medium.  It was interesting.............she definitely knows how to work the crowd.  She seemed quite frazzled at the beginning...nobody was really making a good connection with what she was trying to say.  They wanted so bad for it to be all falling into place...I don't know, it was weird, that's about all I can really say! ha! 

Congrats to those with good news to share, Djj, your guy sounds heavenly!  The pictures are fantastic!! 

I am starting to feel "the nerves".  I leave tomorrow again for Mayo and will have surgery early Thursday morning to remove my right breast.  I completely know what to expect.....just had a clean mammogram.....should not be so worried but I am.  What the hell am i going to do if they find cancer in it???? OMG i'm scared.  Haven't told anybody my fears except for you ladies, been putting on a brave face and just trying to act like i'm not worried, but I am.  Just please say a little prayer for me that everything will go fine.  This surgery is elective.....like my surgeon said to me, she can't guarantee this will help me to live longer, but if it will give me peace of mind then it is the right decision.  I sure hope it is.

Here is a picture of me going out on the town for Deadweird in Deadwood! Super fun little tiny old western town filled with casinos!

Lisaj514

DJJ, looks like Debra is getting her groove back! So glad for you. And congrats on the deport. He will have to now check out the new you without the lump now.....

Jodi, nice hair and nice beat it encore on fb. Awesome moves girl

Michele, normal concerns but all tests show no cancer, so just believe it. There is no reason to believe anything else right now. Sounds like a blast of a weekend. You are superwoman, remember!

Holli, hoping you bounce back soon and get off the steroids successfully. Your munchkins are adorable

Mikesgirl, hope you are feeling better with your cold and achy legs. Your hair looks great too!

RobinLK

DJJ, 22 hours??? SWEET!!!

Holli, sorry it is still a struggle. Steroids suck, but not getting weaned off slowly sucks worse...

Michelle, this is for you...

Jodi, love the hair and Lisa is right...nice moves on fb!

Great pictures, love all the hair photos and trips and goblins!!

DJJ

Michelle, If it gives you peace of mind then it is the RIGHT decision.  YOU CAN DO IT SUPERWOMAN!

oranje_mama

DJJ, you go girl! He sounds like a keeper.

Holli, your munchkins are so cute. Once you wean off the steroids, then what? Should you feel better then?

Missy, you will be fine! You are superwoman, you can do this.

I'm sitting in the waiting room right now, waiting for mammo results. Hate sitting here freezing in this gown, waiting, tick tock tick tock

oranje_mama

and . . . woo hoo!  all clear both sides!  Next mammo on L in 1 year, no biopsy needed! And R is stable !