Re concern for my Mum..

MissAnon86

hi everyone! My mum was diagnosed with dcis in November 2010, she had a couple of operations which didnt give clear margins so was advised to have a mastectomy which she had in March 2011. She has been having her check ups every 6 months. However my concern is she doesnt always have a mammogram, i think she is due one next Feb but its been a year or maybe a year and a half since her last screening. And after the february breast screening she will then only go back to the national average screening we do here in the uk which is once every 3 years! My concern is what is the % of dcis or a new cancer to begin in the other breast, since she had dcis and mastectomy in one?

Its something that hangs over me although i am grateful my mum had dcis and it was caught early.

My other concerns are she drinks and smokes everyday. Alot of people say let her do what she enjoys but in a selfish way from me - at 27 i want my mum around to see me get married an have children.

I feel alone in all this as i have to be strong and friends say "just be strong" when i voice my concerns but i feel thats all i have to be but sometimes it gets hard. I understand not everyone is lucky and gets a 2nd chance. But i live in fear of what ifs and dont know how to stop that.

Sorry for rambling

Hope someone can relate to me here x

corky60

I see you've posted before about your Mum. She is lucky to have a daughter who cares.

You can't change her behaviors. The smoking and drinking of course are bad for her health but if and when she wants to change she will. You can't change another person, you can only change yourself. You can ask if you can accompany her to her mammograms or doctor's appointments and if she is comfortable with this she'll accept the offer.

Your Mum will have to be vigilant in her self-exams for the other breast. You can't do that for her either. All the worrying you are doing isn't really productive is it? Maybe it will have to be enough to let her know that you are there for her if and when she needs you. All the best to you and your mother--

MissAnon86

thanks for the reply corky!

Yes i do know what you are saying is true, no amount of worrying will change anything and its not helping anything but i guess i am a big worrier.

Mainly because im so close to my mum, i am an only child and dont have any other family we keep in contact with so i am more scared of losing her.

But i also feel selfish worrying as other people havent been so lucky with their diagnosis. I know im being silly, but cant help it :-(

Thanks again xx