Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

Paulette23

wally....am thinking more like spring or summer!!! it would be the most BIZARRE event eve! lol...everyone in their birthday sui ts!!!!! sure don't feel like even going grocery shopping right now...or MOVING a single step! soooooo as of today...anyone who wants to RUN NAKED thru the streets. screaming....step forward!!! ill lead the charge!!! Really after habies....surgeries. ..and Distasteful Attire (I needto redesign BC suits for the meducal profession! !!!!! NO MORE PAISLEY kknknoknockno!!!!! knockoffsknockoffsknockockgrrr see what the android platform does!!!!!@ just a pebble in lifes crappy zone!!! come ine come ALL! NAKED CRAZY SCREAMING BOOBIE PEEPS!!!

ellischestnutgirl

UGGGGH!

No chemo start for me again. I could not get to the treatment center. The interstate and side roads were shut down. We will try again on the 12TH/. Baby steps...I keep taking my steroids for pre chemo and now have no more and have had not one drop of the chemo.

Very frustrating.

Just another small blimp in the road.

Gayle

Pompom21

Amazon and Gayle: so sorry to hear of your delays. People call me miss positive. That's because they didn't see me pacing my closet sobbing when I couldn't get the biopsy scheduled or the port placement set up. Please know that we are all praying for you and that it's ok to vent and scream and be angry about the situation.

Sex: we had it a couple of days before my 2nd chemo and it didn't go well. It was fine during but afterwards I was really sore. It was like the first time after our son was born, (c section). I hope everyone else has a better time of it.

Thanks for the fluid suggestions. This is such a big problem for me that I have to get on top of it.

Have a great week everyone!!

ellenkc

Gayle/ellischestnutgirl: I just love what I am guessing is a typo in the last line of your note: "Just a small blimp in the road." I get a great visual on that! I suspect we are all feeling like there are lots of blimps, small and large, blocking the roads around us! -- Ellen

lisa137

For those having problems with sex, what works for us is a LOT of artificial lubrication just in case the natural lubrication isn't enough. No problems so far.

ellenkc

Thanks, Quirky for mentioning the smile in my picture. The reason for the big smile is in the full picture (below)!

Just like my father, most pictures of me have a really awkward, fake looking expression. When I was working, one of my Board members did professional portraits, and she came over and shot a series for us. She never would let me pay for them.

We did a couple of "just is case" things when my husband turned 79 this year, things that might be more normal for an 80th birthday -- portraits, a big birthday party -- but we knew there was a chance he wouldn't last the year. I am so grateful that we did! Some life lessons in that. -- Ellen

jab

Great picture Ellen! - You both have such a great twinkle in your eyes!

QuirkyGirl

That's so beautiful, Ellen! Quite the life lesson and such a warm and loving photo to cherish.

wallymama

So ladies, a laugh to start the day. A month or so ago, while out shopping:

Me: I need a new iron. Hubby: Why?

Me: The old one doesn't steam anymore. Hubby: Oh. Then buy a new one and throw the old one away.

Me: I always keep the old one to use on curtains because I starch them and I don't want to use a starch-clogged iron on clothes. Hubby: Oh.Why would you keep an iron that doesn't work?

Me: It gets still gets hot. It jut doesn't steam. Hubby: OH. Then buy a new one.

This morning:

Hubby: What are you doing in the basement? Me: Ironing the curtains.

Hubby: Oh. How does the new iron work? Me: I'm not using the new iron on the curtains.

Hubby: Oh. Why? Me: I starch the curtains and I don't want starch on the new iron.

Hubby: Oh. If the old one works why'd you buy another one?

About half an hour later, as Hubby gets dressed for work:

Hubby: Why isn't there any curtains in the bedroom?

Amazonwarrior

Thanks so much for the encouraging words and support! It really makes a difference to know that someone somewhere listens, understands and has something positive to say.

I am still with you Chemo Ladies!

In every sense except the CHEMO part!

Ironic, isn't it?

I wish I could catch up with your chemobus. Maybe I'll hop on a chemo express train, instead.

Amazonwarrior

Ellen: Great picture! I am glad you had it done!

We need to savour the precious moments in our lives.

smrlvr

Ellen, that is a lovely picture. I am happy for you that you have it.

I can't believe all the snow you alll are having in Pennsylvania. I heard yesterday that a big nor'easter is heading our way this weekend. Again, Pennsylvania, upstate New York and New England. Let's hope for the best for us chemo girls on Monday. Also it is supposed to be freezing cold.

Are any of you noticing eyebrows falling out? I just noticed mine today.

audra67

Ellen-

LOVE the picture and happy you did things when you could and enjoyed your time together.

Every day is precious, even these that seem long and anxiety filled and tiring...I am going to get bloodwork and have been anxious all morning...no reason why, just going to the oncologist seems to fill me with overload and worries I have no name for...it is unreal.

We still have major ice all over roads and yard and very dangerous driving conditions, our daughters school just reopened today...Texas is NOT prepared for ice it seems or snow..and yet we seem to have them every year??

I still have eyelashes and eyebrows, when I wear makeup scared to curl the eyelashes thinking they might all fall out, but haven't yet...they must be on same wavelength my leg hairs and arm hairs are...seems they are getting extra fertilization and growing like weeds while my poor baby duck head is gone...sad...

Amazon-Ellie- don't worry, you will get in there in time...it will all be ok...must be a reason for delays..God has a plan...

SEx- can't believe you all are feeling like doing that!  MY poor husband...I need to get on the train and try...he is so darling and so kind and so helpful and hasn't even complained once...I am still in the 'sick' zone I guess and haven't felt well enough or good enough or happy enough? not sure why...I am going to make an uber effort and see what happens...

pompom- ARe you feeling good?  WE get ours on same day and I'm not feeling as tired/ill as the last time, wondering how you are energy wise?

I'm guessing my wbc are up from neulasta...

Going to go shower my bald head and get ready to go to oncology office...I really don't like going there...

Amazonwarrior

Sex? Did someone mention sex?

Remind me, what is it?

wrenn

What a beautiful picture and beautiful memory Ellen. Thank you so much for posting this. I am having trouble keeping up with all of the posts and remembering who is who with this crappy memory but wanted to say Amazon that my surgery was mid August and my first chemo was Nov. 25th. Long delays are something I was surprised by but got used to. Seems like no one can count on things going smoothly on this journey.

I am still blown away by how strong everyone is at this horrid battle. xo

Palameda

Hi Everybody,

I've been tired! Fatigue is not my friend. I think this 2nd tx made me much more tired than my first. I've been reading everybody's posts, but too tired to add my own. Bummer to be so exhausted. I spend 15 minutes contemplating getting ready for bed, trying to muster the energy. And hunger! I've been so hungry:I find myself so weak when it's mealtime. I need that food energy desperately!

Hair: Tammibaby, I can't imagine unraveling extensions and saying goodbye to them. They cost too! I had to say goodbye to my very pricy blonde highlights. I find I'm quite comfortable going around the house bald. I have so many hot flashes and sweats that it's more comfortable to let my bald head glisten with sweat and just wipe it up with a paper towel. Lord, this is gross and disgusting. What's really weird is without hair I see how much I look like my father as an old man. Great, just what I needed for my ego, to see a 90 year-old man in the mirror.

I went into work for an hour on Tuesday. I didn't have the energy to be nice and visit with people, I just went to everybody's computer and installed what I needed to, resting my head on my arms while waiting for the computer to do its thing. Pathetic. Paulette, I agree, my brain is sludge too this time. I can barely think at all. Even this simplest tasks seem SO difficult.

Jab, love Teddy! He looks amazingly cuddly. My big newfs require that I lying down on the floor in order to cuddle them. I've got cats for chairs and beds though.

Pompom, Audra and Paulette: it's so great they we're on the same schedule. I read your posts, and go "oh yeah." It makes me know I'm not crazy, just chemo. My eyebrows are thinning...

When I had to have my daily IV antibiotics I had them at a cancer center infusion center. It was like a cattle call, waiting sometimes an hour for a chair, they had nice nurses and good snacks, but there was little privacy. Sometimes I'd be in a room with 10 chairs, other times in a tiny 2-chair room that opened onto the hall of room after room. Sometimes someone would come in with an entourage and take over the entire space. Ugh! I just buried myself in my ipad and earphones. For my chemo I just go to my MO's office. There are several private rooms and one larger one. Both times I've been in a private room, so I could chat with my visitors and relax. I'm SO glad I don't have to go to an infusion center!

Oh Amazon, great big (((hugs))) sent to you across the continent. I'm so sorry your infection is still haunting you. It's just so unfair, with all that this disease demands, to get the lovely side trip to infection-land. It's just not right, not fair, and shouldn't be happening. So there! Yes, I'm lucky enough to be getting treatment, however given that my surgery was in July, it's about time! Hang in there, your infection will eventually get cured, and you will get to join us in the chemo-boat soon enough. Quirky is right there with us in the delayed treatment boat. It happens, might be unusual, but it happens.

Quirky, so glad for you to finally start! As for the skin cancer thing, does that mean that any basal carcinomas that were developing get zapped? How about the stupid pre-cancerous lesions (I've already had to have one burnt off). Do they get stopped? Should we view this ordeal as a particularly strong dermatologist peel of our sun damage?

huh, Paulette, no sense of humor? That must be a joke, right?

Oh Ink, heading off to chemo by yourself??? And it's snowy? Please please take care! So glad you had a driver, Ellen. I'm such a baby that I'm unwilling to drive myself to treatment and it's only 25 sunny minutes away. Ellen, that is a truly beautiful picture of you with your husband. The love is obvious.

Wally, you are washing and starching and ironing curtains DURING chemo??? You are awesome.

tonilee2

(((Ellen)))-I love your photo.  Thank you for taking the time to post.  Your husband looks like a sweet man...just like his wife!  Hope you are hanging in there and feeling a bit better, as the first 10 days or so post-chemo were the worst for me.  And thank you for starting this thread!

lisa137

Ellen, what wonderful picture! I love it.

@wallymama lol what a great story. I know that my husband and I have the same sorts of "i'm listening to you but not really hearing you" type conversations. Marriage is so great.

Amazon, look at the bright side: Once you are ready to really hop on the chemo train, you'll have the added advantage of a bunch of chemo buddies who've already gone farther down the track and can give you lots of good advice AND who already know and understand your own special concerns and issues. My mom always says everything happens for a reason.... and I believe it. Relax and wait and see what the reason is.

My hair--the parts my husband didn't buzz off -- is falling out clumps today. I don't care! Isn't that awesome? actually I'm glad because I want to wear my silk scarves but I had enough stubble that it poked thru them so I was having to wear them OVER a little fleece cap. Comfy outside in the cold, but a tad bit warm here in the house.

SEX! yeah. My husband is so in tune with me (he really is---he's always gotten my PMS headaches with me and everything) that he KNOWS when the time is right...or at least right enough to be "maybe." We're certainly not talking every night here...just enough to keep him feeling married lol. Besides which.... honestly, a bit of nice gentle and careful sex actually goes a long way toward relieving some anxiety and definitely helps a headache go away, and leads to some nice nice sleep. Nature's Ativan, as it were. :P Plus, for me, I think I need it a little bit, what with the hair loss, and the being boobless....it's good to feel *feminine* and sex with the hubby does that, too, especially since he doesn't act like it's any different for him than it ever was---and to be honest, the first time, after the BMX, I was a *little* bit scared it would be different for him. But yeah, nothing like that if I'm queasy or have heartburn or anything like that. I have a very sweet husband.

Chemo was monday, neulasta was yesterday, today I feel GREAT. Tomorrow i will crash of course---today is the last day of the steroids. But at least today I can get some stuff done in the house. I do think it's crazy how I can't type, and how I already know that I will NOT be able to type for sh*t until the last couple of days before the next chemo. Weird how that works. But hey! No other issues today, so for today, I'm a happy chemo camper!

jab

All this talk of sex has me jealous. My low levels of ongoing nausea has me contemplating the potential negative conditioning (anyone remember Clockwork Orange....?) Anyway, if I have 5 minutes of no nausea, my hubby will be a happy man.....

wrenn

Speaking of hair. I think I may have shaved mine for nothing. I am day 17 and nothing coming out anywhere yet.

jab

And Patalameda - You have Newf's? Love em. Newfoundland is sister Atlantic Prov of NB where I am so I see a few around here. They are beautiful.

joanmj58

Wrenn:

So sorry you shaved your head for wrought. Have you spoken to your MO yet?

Joan

QuirkyGirl

My lips are drying out at lightening speed and Burt's bees and I are struggling to keep up. Wow, that was fast! Any particular suggestions other than Carmex or Chapstick? I'm finicky about smell and both bother me. Lol

wrenn

joanmj. Imsee him next week. Apart from diverticulitis and continued digestive issues i missed out on the many side effects. Makes me wonder if it was doing anything.

lisa137

@jab yeah if i'm nauseous, it's a definite no-go. I've just been sooooo lucky with that so far. Only one real night of nausea after two treatments. Plenty of heartburn but i seem to be on top of that now. my husbnd has no idea how truly blessed he is.

lisa137

btw, my best way to beat the queasiness/heartbhurn, stomach problems of any type, has been to take a few gulps (yes, gulps) of maalox, and then stretch out on my LEFT side, lay straight for a few minutes. Burps and farts abound, and it's someting better done alone, but it WORKS.

jab

Lisa, I tried the Maalox on day 1 of Chemo as I was desperate. Big mistake, BIG mistake...It also does a great job of coating the nose - I will say no more. I'm using Lorazapam at night but it puts me to sleep pretty fast so no chance of knocking boots.

wallymama

Sex. Dogs. Burps. Vomit. Farts. Diarrhea. Constipation. Bald heads. Sex. Bald lady parts. No eyebrows. Dogs. Too much leg hair. Husbands. Doctors. Evil nurses. Good nurses. Dry eyes. Dogs. Other women's boobs. Crying spells. Hysterical laughing. Headaches. Sex. Drugs. More drugs.

And wonderful ladies to share it all with.

Where else could we hope to have such stimulating and educational conversations??

No place else I can think of. Isn't the internet just GRAND?

I feel sorry for all who went through this before us and this great big information highway.

Here's to us all!! Cheers!!

ellenkc

"Sex. Dogs. Burps. Vomit. Farts. Diarrhea. Constipation. Bald heads. Sex. Bald lady parts. No eyebrows. Dogs. Too much leg hair. Husbands. Doctors. Evil nurses. Good nurses. Dry eyes. Dogs. Other women's boobs. Crying spells. Hysterical laughing. Headaches. Sex. Drugs. More drugs."

For some time I have been picturing the folks who invented chemo (and maybe cancer itself) sitting around a table in a bar, drinking beer, and making a list of all the large and small annoyances they can add to the treatment. You gotta admit, they got pretty creative.

I would add to the list twitching eyes, runny eyes, headaches, jaw/tooth pain, bone pain. -- Ellen

NorthwindsGS

Hello Ladies!

Wanted to stop in and see how everyone is doing. My second AC really kicked my butt and I was out for the count for four days. Feel like I missed so much not checking in with you guys. Wish I had the talent to keep up with everyone's names and individual posts however I am not very computer savvy.

Ellen, love the picture of you and your hubby. Beautiful!

I can't remember who asked about lip balm but I have been using the Hempz products, lotion, body wash and lip balm and love them. They are alcohol free and I can tolerate the smell fairly well.

Right now my hair is almost gone. Hubby shaved it a week ago and the stubble is falling out like crazy. I look like a big HedgeHog so I wear caps at work and go bare at home. This weekend is my husbands big work Christmas party and my debut into society with no hair. Besides for work and doctor appointments I have avoided public places. Today I went to Younkers in the mall to find something "sexy" to wear. Kinda hard to feel attractive with missing the hair but I think I found something kinda flashy. Never thought I would squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans at my age however chemo does wonders for my behind! No taste, no eating helps out with that end of things!

Does anyone know if the ACT chemo works on skin cancer? I had a Basal Cell removed 6 years ago and think I may have more starting from my years of Sun worship. Would be great if the ACT did double duty! When I was a teenager we loved in Florida and I was always brown, then when we moved back to the frozen tundra I used tanning booths for years. The warmth and light helped me with winter depression so I justified it, now I know better.

Another funny question for you gals. Don't feel right asking anyone else but have any of you noticed a different smell to yourself? I swear I can smell the chemo in me. I sweat more and it is so acrid and sweet smelling. I shower at least twice a day and can't shake the smell. I swear our bedroom smells like it and try to air it out daily, hard to do now as it is twenty below with windchill here. My hubby says I am imaging it but he is too nice to tell me the truth anyway. I think our dogs notice the smell though. They love me anyway but seems they can smell/sense it.

Amazon and Paulette, wish I could give you both a big hug. Can't imagine spending all the time in a hospital that you ladies have. Makes my side effects seem minimal.

All you ladies are my heroes right now. I love reading everyone's daily antics and I feel safe and secure with you all. Look forward to checking in every night before bed as you gals make me smile!