I'm absolutely terrified. I just got diagnosed

sayitaintso

and will have a biopsy next week. It's already affecting two lymph nodes, so I am beyond concerned. Is anybody out there who is in the same boat?

ziggypop

I was diagnosed last year, and had several lymph nodes involved & a tumor they described as 'huge'. There's no way around it being scary and things will start happening pretty quickly - tests & poking and prodding. Before I even had the biopsy to make sure that it was cancer, they told me that they were going to do Chemo first to try to shrink the tumor - again because it was 'huge'. Here's the thing - don't get ahead of yourself. There are a lot of different types of BC & they are treated in different ways. I have a friend who was diagnosed two days after I was & she has a little tiny scar & had to do radiation (which is a hassle but really not that bad for most people). I had much more extensive treatment - and here I am. I have curly hair now (chemo-curl), I've learned a lot of new words & also that I'm a much stronger person than I might have imagined before. I have one less boob & this weird hard 'tissue-expander' in place (still have to complete the reconstruction). For the most part - I'm back to 'normal'.

maltomlin

I was in your boat nearly 6 years ago!!!!!!!! It's a scary time, no doubt! Your head is all over the place.

Take deep breaths and concentrate on one hurdle at a time. Your next hurdle is the biopsy?????????? Scary! Yes it is. But don't second guess anything, and whatever you do......don't google! That will scare you.

It's normal & natural to freak out at the news, I know I did. But, one step at a time. Don't worry (it's hard) about things that may not happen. You can't see into the future, although you fear it.

I was exactly where you are, nearly 6 years ago. I was dx with a grade 3 cancer which was in 3 of my nodes. Ok I had chemo, which wasn't a walk in the park, but here I am feeling great, plenty of holidays in the pipeline, and looking forward to the future.

Just take a day at a time and you'll soon get there,

Take care

sayitaintso

Oh, I can't tell you how much your replies mean to me. I am just scared to death. And I can't stop crying.

Abby20

I was diagnosed July 2012, now everything feels like a distant memory..take a deep breath, it will pass

hugs

abby

Rfuduloff

I was diagnosed Oct 3rd and things are moving real fast am scheduled for a double mastectomy November 5th. I am scared to death as well. I can't eat or sleep, I am barely functioning knowing I am less than 2 weeks away from surgery. I would love to know how everyone else handled the stress of an upcoming surgery.

Scared in Phoenix

YoungTurkNYC

In some ways, this is the most stressful time - prior to your surgery and prior to active treatment. Once I had surgery, I felt relief that I had taken an active step to do something against cancer. We all know stress does not help anything. You will feel much better once your active treatment starts, whether surgery or chemo. You will get through this.

sayitaintso

Those of you who have embarked on this journey are such good people to share your thoughts. I can't seem to marshall any, not even how to tell my own daughter who lost her sister this summer.

Obxflygirl1

Please know that you will get through this......I am 13 months out from my BX . The surgery was the easy part as I just wanted to get the cancer out of my body. When I got the news, I ask my Doctor for a anxiety (crying) prescription and Ambien for sleeping. Please take care of yourself first and if you aren't sleeping or functioning, call your doctor . You need to be well rested for the surgery and the journey ahead. Give yourself the best chance to fight. My only daughter's wedding was 6 weeks from surgery, so I knew I had to take care of myself.

The surgery wasn't as bad as I imagined. Coming home being wrapped up was scary. I cried for a day, not wanting to shower and see anything. OMG! It was nothing like my brain had imagined. I was so happy with how little the incisions were and the tissue expanders made all the difference. Already looked like I had tiny perky girls......

Surgery was in September , exchange tissue expanders to implants in January , nipple reconstruction in April. Vinnie in September.

You are still in the early frightening stage...... The unknowns. Once your surgery path comes back and you have a treatment plan, things will move along. I am in a good place now. Happy with my reconstruction and love my doctors. Just had tattoos of the reconstructed nipples with Vinnie Myers, one of the best! I am lucky to be early stage and feel blessed.

Don't google anything . BUT Do search these boards, ask questions . I found out so much information here that helped me feel in control of my reconstruction process and treatment. I was able to ask the doctors questions that I wouldn't have known anything about had I not been on BC.org.

Let us know how you both are doing. I just spent 4 days with 40 of the women I met here on BC.org for a long weekend in Vegas....Now, that's progress!

You will have challenges ahead and the emotional after effect can be tough. Reach out to us but please call your physician or his nurse and let them help you. I called my GYNOB as I had a better relationship with her.......only because the BC surgeon and plastic surgeon were so new.

Take care...hugs to you both!

Clem

I was diagnosed in Feb 2013. I did 8 rounds of chemo every 3 weeks and that went very well. The main thing you have to do is keep eating, I was told if I loose to much weight they will have to make my chemo weaker. Then I had my operation on September 19 I had a lumpectomy and 1 lymph node removed. When I got the results back the cancer in my breast is gone but the lymph node was positive. I will be operated on again November 7th and they will remove all the lymph node

But my dear you need to sleep and eat get your body ready for this surgery. One step at a time and you will get through it let your husband know at all times how you are feeling. Talking about it I found was good. Also, I have very strong faith.

I wish you all the Best Hugs!

bdavis

All I can say is that what all these women say is true... The waiting and pre-treatment period is the worst time... I was diagnosed 3 years ago, had a lumpectomy, then chemo, and then chose to have a BMX. Life now is totally normal. And chemo wasn't that bad either. I worked all through chemo. The best advice I can give is to breathe, take each step one day at time, don't get ahead of yourself and understand your options by asking others. For me, I researched whether I wanted to do radiation (what the doctors recommended) or be more aggressive and have a MX. And having a MX, choosing a reconstruction that was best for me. I chose to use my own fat rather than implants. All of these decisions required a ton of research. So slow down and one day, one step at a time.

sandra4611

Rfuduloff and Sayitanintso,

Of course you are scared, confused, not sleeping, and hope this is all a terrible mistake. I think most of us were feeling the same things at your stage. I was calm on the surface, didn't cry, but had nightmares every single night - if I was able to sleep at all. I had to wait a month from the day of diagnosis (July 18th) to the day of surgery (August 23rd) due to scheduling issues between the general surgeon (GS) and the plastic surgeon (PS) involving their summer vacations! Vacations!! Couldn't they have had the foresight to schedule them at the same time so I only had to wait two weeks? How could they think of two weeks away when I was waiting on pins and needles? Didn't they realize I had BREAST CANCER for God's sake! It was torture to have to wait!

Prior to that, things had moved quickly. The second mammo was only a few days after the first. The stereotactic breast biopsy was in another week, the appointment to find out results was the next week, and the first meeting with the GS, radiologist, and nurse navigator was only 3 days later. So it was hurry up and wait. Fortunately I found a wonderful counselor who kept my feet on the ground when I wanted to "bite through the restraints and scream at everybody" and a doctor who gave me some Ambien only if I would promise not to take it more than 3 nights a week. That was enough to make sure I got some rest but not enough for me to get too dependent on it in a month.

Some people will tell you to stay away from the internet. There is absolutely no way I could have done that. HOWEVER, choose wisely. I limited my search to very reputable websites: MD Anderson, Johns Hopkins, and Mayo Clinic. No fly-by-night "studies" by anonymous "doctors" which may or may not have value except to scare me to death. Nope...stick to the experts as you learn about breast cancer. Once you have your diagnosis you can find people here with the same diagnosis and see how their health care team advised them. WARNING: it might be completely different from what your doctors tell you. You'll hear it over and over, "everyone is different" but that doesn't really hit home until you see how different everyone's journey through this fight is.

This is the place to get support to help you through the next months. You can learn so much by reading how others handled the same thing you are going through today. Challenges change every single day. We can help you understand your diagnosis and options plus give tips for the hospital, recovery, chemo, radiation, hormone therapy, reconstruction and any complications that could come along. There is no right way or wrong way to get through this.

sayitaintso

I'm having the biopsy on Monday and my doctor says that I'll probably have chemo before any surgery. Now I am beyond frightened because I know that means they can't see clear margins around the tumor(s). I don't know which way to turn.

bdavis

sayitaintso... I know lots of people who have chemo first. Not seeing clear margins is not really a reason... Imaging isn't that good. Usually chemo is first to shrink the tumor to allow for cleaner margins or enable a lumpectomy over MX. If you have a small tumor and do chemo first, you run the risk of losing the tumor, but its a good strategy for a larger tumor. Plus, some surgeons just lean that way. Don't put the cart before the horse.

sayitaintso

Oh, bdavis, thank you so much for your reply. I have been out of my mind and just reading your post makes me feel so much better. That's just what I am doing, putting the cart before the horse and I know I shouldn't. I appreciate it more than you know.

ziggypop

Hi sayitaitso,

I sorry that you are facing this, the initial shock of a diagnosis is so hard and information so confusing, of course you are scared - that's completely normal. Don't think that because they may do the chemo first that it's a bad thing or that it means that somehow your cancer is worse than others. There are somewhere around 26 different types of BC & the treatments you receive & the order of those treatments are based on a number of factors. The first thing that my docs told me is this - as long as the cancer is confined to the breast, it won't kill you. Their goal is always to prevent its spread to other parts of your body (still treatable, but not at this time curable). What chemo does is that it attacks fast growing cells, cancer cells are generally fast growing (as are hair cells & that's why your hair falls out - but it'll come back).

Now here's the thing about what you have said about your diagnosis & probably why they're thinking they want to do chemo first. Breast cancer tends to spread through the lymph nodes, it moves outward from the breast into those nodes in your armpit & then from there (possibly) can move to other parts of your body. If, there is spread to enough of the lymph nodes, then they usually want to do chemo because it attacks any cancer cells that may have 'traveled' to other places - that is - it hits those cells that may exist all over your body, not just in your breast. Since they already know that you have some lymph node involvement - they're probably thinking that it would be a good 'prophylactic' (a 'just in case') measure to give you chemo (they will remove those lymph nodes surgically - but, the chemo is a 'just in case' measure).

Sometimes they don't know prior to surgery if chemo is necessary - because they don't know how many (if any) lymph nodes are involved. In your case (as it was in mine) it sounds like they know they are leaning toward chemo because they know there is lymph node involvement. (It's good that they are considering this - it means that they want to give you the best treatment available). If they determine prior to surgery that chemo is in your best interests, then they have options - before surgery or after surgery. At that point, it's usually the case that the before surgery option is better - why not shrink that sucker down to a smaller size and make your surgery easier?

I know this is a long post - I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope this helps rather than makes you more upset. I wanted info when I was diagnosed & it was so hard to find and understand. If you have questions, please ask them & I'm sure that somebody will try to answer as best as they can. You can do this. It's a day by day process. Many hugs and best wishes.