just feel lonely...

Paulette23

it's been a very long few months..... Between the diagnosis early july, first and second opinions, many long nights of waiting for scheduling... Then waiting for surgery... Then waiting for pathologies.... Overcoming first surgery.... Then 2nd 2 weeks later... And seroma complications... Now waiting for oncologist appt to be scheduled... Sometimes it can be very overwhelming!

Then factor is other pre existing medical conditions. I hate to even think what's coming next! I've had medical problems since I was 10 years old and now add this to the equation, I'm tired and because I cannot get out as much anymore this can be very lonely. Are there others there out there to get virtually no sleep and have absolutely no 1 to speak to at night!? The nights are the worst!

Paulette23

I have been an overcomer to so many medical situations in my life! and have helped soooo many others to overcome! But now when I'm the one who has to go through it,....seems few are there..... as always sometimes you can feel very lonely

Paulette23

we need a group of caregivers to help caregivers.....because we need an arm up sometimes!!!!

Kalonis52

Hi honey, Sorry, you have been having a rough time. I am so sorry for how your feeling Paulette. Yes, it can be very overwhelming. It seems nothing ends. And, during this time it does get lonely at times. That is when I turned to here for support from the ladies. And, Facebook. Ha. And, I turned to God for comfort. It helped alot. And, still does. Honey, all these emotions arise, which are normal. As time goes on, and, you get closer to the end of your treatments, things will start getting better for you. Remember, to be strong thru this, and, stay positive. Feel free to ask questions. I am here.

Kaloni

Jianchi

Paulette,

Hugs to you. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 9 days ago. I understand EXACTLY what you mean by overwhelming. Life goes on (Thank God!). When people say that they feel sorry for me, I often reply: "Yes, me too. However, I am grateful that I was not shot by a gun or hit by a car and died immediately. I am still here and was given a chance to fight for life." It is true, no? This whole thing will definitely male us stronger, more caring and more grateful to our family. Live the life with more awareness!

Take care!

J

ellenkc

Dear Paulette -- So sorry to hear that you are feeling so alone. My husband passed away 8/13/13, just about the time I was diagnosed. I am doing my best to adjust to a house that feels empty, making plans to get out of the house each day, to see people, etc. But somehow, when I go for health care and my husband is not there, that's when I feel the most alone. I expect to be starting chemo in a couple of weeks, and am concerned about being alone with the chemo effects.

One thing that I hope will work is that I am gathering a modified version of a Share the Care circle. I was part of one years ago and felt it worked really well. The two basic things are: (1) you get a group of folks (I prefer a small group) who share info on what they can and can't do to help out. (2) You have one person each week who is the "captain". That means that if I have a need, I only have to call that one person. They don't have to meet the need, they just need to figure out who can help.

I am hoping that I don't need to call on them for much help, but it helps already to know that they are there.

Ellen

gia444

Dear Paulette. So sorry you feel alone.

I know it can be so overwhelming.... There is so much information out there. Sometimes you don't know where to turn. Keep coming to this board. It has really helped me.

ellenkc. That is so sad about you loosing your husband at a time like this. You need all the comfort you can get. I am starting my chemo AC treatments on Wednesday. not looking forward to that. That is a good idea Share the Care circle...

Hugs.

Paulette23

thank you everyone for your kind words of support! Ellen kc... Special prayers of support for you! I know no one can feel your husband shoes, but I hope you have others around you to help hold you up during this time! Gia444, I hope and pray that your treatments go well! Jianchi, I'm in total agreement with you on your comments! stand strong , and this is one huge roller coaster ride of emotions! It has been a true blessing being able to communicate via the Internet with others for support!Kalonis45. Thank you for your words of support in wisdom! I hope you are doing well with your treatment!

One of the frustrating things I'm facing at this point is still the waiting game. I was diagnosed July 1 had the two surgeries in August. The only treatment I received so far was the single does radiation during surgery. We still don't know what other treatments I will receive. Of course I am ER/ PR positive.... I have been told I will need a anti hormone medication... But no nothing more than that.

I have not even had an oncologist appointment yet. We finally got my onco dx score ....which is dead center in the grey zone at 25. I FINALLY have an appointment on October 31st to see the oncologist for the first time. The delays have been very frustrating.... I see others were diagnosed after me I have already begun treatment. I don't understand why its taking so long for the doctors to set my appointments. Being home alone all day long and spending most of my time in bed makes it difficult. My husband is an RN and works very long days and additionally is attending college.

With not being able to get out much anymore, I really don't get to see or speak to anyone during much anymore. I will literally go thru days and not speak a single word.

My husband is wonderful but he is not a very physical person outside of sex.Sometimes I would just love to touch another human being and would love to have a hug. Human touch and contact is so very important...especially when we are going thru things like this. If I didn't have my faith in God I don't know where I would be!

again I appreciate so much each with your kind comments! Keeping all of you in my prayers! I hope you have a wonderful day

denilynne

Gosh, I feel the same way that you all feel. This weekend has been especially difficult. Friday, I went in for radiation simulation. I fully expected to start radiation this Monday. I should have known better. They say it take 7-10 business days to formulate a radiation plan for me. From the beginning, it's just been one waiting period after another. It seems like I am angry most of the time. People tell me I am so lucky that they caught it early, that I should be very grateful. I am! They aren't in my shoes! I can't seem to get a handle on these negative feelings.

You are right Paulette, when you say,"I need a hug". I really could use one, especially from my husband & children. I feel like I am alone. That no one wants to talk about it.

My doctors say that when I had the lumpectomy, that they got it all and that the radiation is just to kill any microscopic cancer cells that are left. Well.......those statements are contradicting themselves! I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop! Even the medical people act like my case is very low on the totem pole. I know I am not the only one with breast cancer (do I have it or did I have it??? I don't even know how to refer to it!) and many people have it so much worse than I do.

Cancer can really be something that separates you from everything...........

Sad and angry,

Denise

gia444

Denilynne I know what you mean about the delay. I first found my lump the end of June. By the time I had surgery it was Aug 16. I can't believe that it has been so long until I have my chemo on Oct 23. A lot of women have been faster. I thought I could start my chemo in Sept. I know they are busy but some places seem slower then others.... You might not even need chemo. I am taking it because I am triple negative..

Jianchi

gia444,

I am triple negative as well. Did your doctor say TN responses well to chemo? Or is it because we are TN, nothing else really will work other than chemo?

Thanks!

J

gia444

Jianchi, They just told me that TN reponds well to chemo. I was on the border line of having chemo. Because of TN I did not want to decline it as there is not that much out there that will work like positive. We cannot take Herceptin, Tamoxiphen or anything like that

Jianchi

Thank you Gia and all the best to you on your chemo treatment. I will join you soon.

J

gia444

Thank you Jianchi for the well wishes,

I am usually on the Oct 13 chemo board. It has been a big help. A lot of helpful ladies going through treatment. I have learned a lot.

Jianchi

Gia,

Thank you for the referral. I did notice that one, will look into it.

J

MyraVH

A Blessed Christmas to everyone!

You are not the only one Paulette in feeling lonely. Even with family and friends who are with us physically or not with all their words of encouragement, many times I feel the loneliness too. I guess it's part of everything that we have to go through. I was told several times to think positive, stay calm and have faith. I do all that and yes, it is overwhelming, and makes me cry. We are here in this community to help and support each other because it is us who is going through this rollercoaster ride are the only ones who can understand each other. I find it very helpful to be here and communicate with each other or to just read what others have written here. At times, what I read scares me but it also opens up my mind and helps me understand and teaches me through the tips recommended in the other boards.

I don't know if my posting helps but we have to remember we are not alone. 

Myra