Moving On......After the Flap

Morningsun1

To marty,

snowshoe

Bailey - Yes, my therapist (psychotherapist) is awesome! I have been going since January this year every 2 weeks. I find it is a comforting addition to my life. I plan to discuss arranging my first hypnotherapy session with him. It is nice to know you are considering the same. I continue to be amazed how differently I approach life in general these days. And how my emotional self needs strengthening in so many areas that I never realized. It is an exciting path for me as I engage myself in such subtle but meaningful ways of approaching "self". I speak now more of "self" outside the realm of breast cancer. In a way that is much more genuine and honest than I have ever thought I could be (genuine and honest within myself). I am glad you like your therapist. Getting to know each other just continues with each session. I will be happy to share how this unfolds. Thank you for your posts.

liefie

Did not read anything. Just quickly want to share that my mom passed away last night after a four year struggle with brain cancer. It is a great relief that she is free of pain now, but it is sad to think that she is gone for ever. I'm all packed and ready to leave for the airport, flying via London to South Africa. Not looking forward to those long flights, but have to say good bye to my mom. Take care everybody.

Morningsun1

My thoughts are with you, liefie. (((((liefie)))))

lahela

My heart goes out to you Liefie. Sending you love on this difficult journey.

MartyJ

Liefie - so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you got a trip back to SA this past year.  May your mother's memory be a blessing to all who loved her.

Jeannie57

Dear Liefie, my prayers go with you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Janet_M

Take care Liefie - I wish you safe travels, and a peaceful farewell to you mother. 

Zenful

my sympathies, Liefie. So nice you were able to spend time with her. I will bd thinking of you and your family. 

Anonymous

Liefie, safe travels and much love. It's a long journey physically and emotionally. We love you, friend. In your pockets.

Kat-ski

Flower Display in The Netherlands--Just Awesome-Amazing-Beautiful!!

Wynne50

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It is so hard to lose your mother.  Praying for peace for you and your family.

heavenschild

Bosom - I would highly recommend having the Stage 2 SX done.  My foobs (other than the scars) look better than the real thing.  My husband loves them.  After the fat settled down (I assume that is the *iron bra*) and softened, they jiggle like the real thing.  Of course, they are numb, but that doesn't stop the typical man! 

FierceBluebird

liefie, hugs and prayers to you and your family. 

Kat-ski

Lifie, You and your family are in my prayers and sending you hugs.

nihahi

Liefie.....such a true sense of loss, when our mother's pass on, regardless how grateful we are that their suffering is now over. I have no doubt, your mother always felt your love, even as her health faded, and her love for you will always be with you. Travel safely, surrounded by hugs.

movie...I'm sure you "feel" yourself on the same path......sending you love and hugs and strength.

bosum...I don't think you're a prima donna...at all.....I think you are in emotional pain that comes with FBC, and "lost in life".....It's good that you can look back in your journal and recognize some things have shifted a bit for you. I also very much get the "freak" self assessment.....I was born with a severe clef palate and lip deformity. That meant surgeries throughout my childhood, speech lessons, painful orthodontic work, etc. I spent many years totally obsessed about my facial scars....(can't hide those with clothes!!!) and wondering as a teenager, how I would ever have a boyfriend. Years later, I now have even more facial scars from several types of skin cancer. It looks like zorro practiced on my nose, at this point! On top of the tummy and breast flap recon scars.  I'm starting to look like Raggedy Ann!!!! But.....I have a great life, because I learned to accept myself as someone "worth loving", regardless of the "package I come in".   

I truly "get" the need for a recon you can be happy with.....afterall....I didn't find that "peace" until my third try, I just wish I could help you start the emotional healing while you pursue the surgical fix. It is possible to have "perfect breasts" and still have a lonely, unhappy life. Sending hugs that you keep moving forward to a better "place".

Jeannie57

4 month Onc. checkup tomorrow. Feeling pretty calm other than the whole blood draw ordeal. Hopefully, continuing to move on!

Ashira

Marty;

Your words to BB are beautiful and instructive to me too. I am hopeful and optimistic for a successful recon, but am finding it difficult to return home, face the many losses that I've endured over this past year, and move forward with confidence. It 'a not my body that I believe will hold me back from finding a partner, it's all the rest of me. I so looked forward to being on the other side of all this, though now open my eyes each morning with the thoughts of "what if... " Thankfully, my plans for stages 2&3 are in place. Now I just need to plan for the rest of my life. 

MartyJ

Ashira - you know what they say about plans - Man Plans, G-d Laughs!  So true, but doesn't exclude dreams.

nihahi

jeannie.....I have faith it will be a week of good news, for both you and hubby.

jlbloom

Liefie, thinking of you and hoping everything goes as you need it to.  ...Julie

Ashira

Marty, I forgot that one. Perhaps more dreaming and less planning would be a good idea.

Jeannie57

Great checkup today! Back in six months. I did kick my foot out in pain when she inserted the needle for the blood draw which caused it to move out of place....I'm only human! DH had his physical today and is in great health.  Lovely celebratory happy hour on Lake Union. DH should hear about the job tomorrow, please, oh please. Hopefully we'll celebrate again! Meanwhile my family is being surrounded by fires in the San Diego area, especially my daughter. She can see smoke from her patio and is packed, gassed up and ready to go, if the roads stay open. She is smart and savvy. But, boy do I worry, having seen our old street there burn down several years ago.

lahela

Great news on your check up Jeannie! All the best for DH and DD - anxious times for all of you!

GwennyMD

Trying to catch up

Liefie - A am so sorry for your loss.  I hope that you have a safe trip.

Lahela, Jeanne - I will keep all fingers and toes crossed for good news?

Fierce - As always you are in my prayers

BB - You have been through a lot and you are still standing.  When you realize that you are a survivor and that you are still the beautiful person you were before BC, you will stop worrying about whether a man will like your new boob.  I have been single for most of my life.  I have discovered that most intelligent men do not expect us to look like the babes in the magazines.  We do not have an airbrush to hide the dents, stretch marks, moles, etc.  I had droppy boobs full of stretch marks before the DIEP, and guess what, no one every complained. And by the way, men age just like we do.

Good night ladies.

FierceBluebird

Jeannie, fingers crossed for DH and hope all is well with DD. That must be nerve-wracking!

Gwenny, well said.  I know that single women have their own worries about dating and finding the right partner who will love you no matter what.  Men do age and those who are superficial aren't worth the time!

BB,  married women also have problems. Many marriages break up when the stress of FBC enters the picture.  Husbands experience the loss as well and go through watching their spouse be devastated by treatment, and then mutilated. Everything they've known about their wife and her body is all changed.  Some men become better for it and others can't handle it.  So the fears of single women finding a good man are similar to married women worrying about if their spouse will be in it for the long haul. 

Morningsun1

So true, fbb, those of us have one for the long haul are the lucky ones. You found that brown thingy to stand up on???

Jeannie, hopping for another good news day for dh tomorrow.

Morningsun1

Movie sends her love to all here. She is super busy taking care of her mom.

jlbloom

Jeannie, I was hoping to hear good news from you.  It sounds really good so far.  I just heard from a co-worker that his home is 10-15 miles from the fires.  Lots of prayers for your DD and anyone near by.  FBB, thinking of you.  Love you all.  ...Julie

Zenful

Jeannie, yay for a good checkup!  Still praying for you and your husband. I will add your DD to the list.