I think my aunt has a later stage cancer...

jlburchell

I think my aunt has a more advanced form of cancer...

A little back story is that she had an identical twin sister (my mom) who was checked into a hospital 9 years ago with Stage IV breast cancer. The doctors gave her 2 months. She fought for 4 years. 

Five years later, after my mom (my aunts’ twin) passed my aunt is showing some of the serious signs of breast cancer. 

She has that smell, she’s very skinny (5'4" @ 90lbs,) her right arm and hand are swollen, she been getting sick (headache, stomachache) all the time, my sister keeps finding bloody bandages and last night I noticed a corner of a bandage sticking out of her robe (it seemed to be covering the chest and it was bloody.)

She is very eccentric and seems to be in serious denial (kind of think she's going to ignore it completely.) 

There seem to be very little resources on the web regarding this type of situation.

How would we approach her and if she feign ignorance or dismisses us, are there any ways we can tell for sure if she has it and what stage it is in?

Any help is greatly appreciated in this dark time.

exbrnxgrl

Sorry that you find your aunt in this situation. A bloody bandage on her chest might indicate inflammatory bc and a fungating tumor. This type of tumor would also account for a bad smell. This type of bc is rare, but not unheard of. Normally bc that is advanced, i.e. metastasized to other organs, doesn't smell but tumors that break,through the skin do. Did your mom have inflammatory bc?

Here's the tough part. It can be very difficult to convince adults to face something they don't want to. She may be frightened or possibly still traumatized by her twins passing. Is there anyone she would feel comfortable speaking with? Doctor, religious leader, friend family member? Could you approach her in a caring and gentle way? In any event, always leave the door open and let her know that you will be there for her.

Caryn