September 2013 Chemo Group

VintageGal1111

I'll be doing rads with ya LightHouse!

josgirl

ladies I am so far behind I can't respond to everything I want to but a few things I wanted to share. 

Oh goodness yes on the pills. Went from one a day to like twenty. On fish oil, probiotic, curcumim, vit d and vit k, broccoli extract, mushroom extract, green tea extract, vit e and pentoxyline(spelling isn't 100%), melatonin, and of course tamoxifen. Nuts! 

This also really helped me. I talked to my onc about my chemobrain symptoms and that I had read a lot if literature that the phenomenon wasn't really valid (not that we weren't having symptoms but that so many different symptoms and different chemos couldn't be proven for cause and effect). My onc said that what he believed was this study that tested women going in for their regular mammo and then if diagnosed after a certain period. Most women - chemo or not - had neurological issues. The study attributed it to PTSD. As soon as my onc said that I wanted to slap myself duh!  As experienced as I am with PTSD symptoms it didn't dawn on me but looking at it - yes. Chemobrain is likely PTSD and while that is a rough diagnosis in and of itself it is fixable ( with work). Anyway that was my appointment epiphany. 

KJ and 70 charger - thinking of you two. As much as this journey sucks I would rather be the one going through it than watching a loved one. So glad that the results came back good for you KJ and thinking of you 70charger for good concrete news today. 

Kbee and running - erg my running not so good lately. Started school and so tired. Not to mention fiancée has a bad cold (he's never sick so traumatic for him). But need to get back into it so I don't lose what little I have gained. 

I like all the kca parties. I am doing a drive through the east coast - see all my friends and family that have scattered and just have a vaca on my schedule. In June and so excited!

Love all the hair pics. Cougar you could totally go without a wig - you have a very cute head! Me I am still struggling with what to say in response to nice haircut. Mostly when it is someone who I will be working with (professor etc) who I obviously don't want to say why I changed my hair at this moment but later on down the road it may seem weird. Whatever - I'll take this dilemma any day

I am really excited to meet all of you. I have been so tired and wiped (now that I finally have some energy back my inner voice has been silenced in regards to taking it slow) but reading all your posts keeps me feeling better. 

To everyone starting rads soon - it is tedious but doable - I agree with KJ that the arm over head got harder over time but it was quick and not a very harsh position - more like a slightly uncomfortable stretch. 

Peacock girl - we are on the same schedule. I have my bad boob mammo in April and both in July. They think I will have to do MRI and mammo combo (one every 6 months). I have no idea about whether I have dense breasts - assume I do as I am 34 - and my first mammo (after finding the lump) was so calcium ridden (still breast feeding) that the doc didn't even bother reading it. Guess we will just have to see. And to kbee - I found it. If I hadn't who knows what would have happened. I wouldnt be scheduled for a mammo til 40 right (no fam history)?  Mine was right in my armpit (very close to nodes) so also easy to palpate.  Either way I am so not looking forward to doc apts. used to not mind needles. Now gosh. 

Sending you all good thoughts. 

simplelife4real

Southerngirl...they marked me up with a purple marker and then used a green one to mark the placement locations (instead of tattoos).  I get to keep the lovely green x's for the next six weeks covered with stickers.  Actually, I don't mind the big green x's.  Anything to get them to place me in the right spot each day.  It's kind of fun how fast they get you in and out for the actual rads.  I just had day 3 done today.  I'm almost 10% of the way through.  Whoo Hooo!!

Hubby and I are going dancing tonight.  It's a ballroom dance with a live big band.  Last time we went, I was pretty wiped out from AC.  This time should be a lot more fun.  I'm going as a red head!  Thanks to a wig.  I'll get hubby to take a picture after I get dressed.

Miss_Mama_Bear

Hello everyone! It has been ages since I have posted and I apologize. I have been really struggling with things. I have been ridiculously behind on everything since my sister left. I have pretty much given up on catching up lol. My biggest issue, though is...well, cancer. I kind of buried it after I was diagnosed and have been living in a total state of denial ever since. Well, that is wearing off and I just really don't know how to come to terms with it. I have the thought "I have cancer" and it is 100% blind panic just like in the beginning before I buried everything and escaped to my cozy bubble of denial. I have freak-out moments almost every day. I just really don't know how to get a hold of it and move on with my life without living in constant fear. I have been able to talk about having cancer in the past but it has been with a complete emotional disconnect, but now that is going away. Does that make sense? It is like when I had my port put in and the area was numb for a long time but eventually the nerves grew back and man, that shit hurts! I don't know. My boyfriend told me that I should get in contact with you guys. Of course you would understand, but I guess maybe that is part of why I have been avoiding here. It is kind of like having to face reality. He is great. He says there is no guaranteeing any of us, that he has the same chances of making it through tomorrow that I do. I can understand that, but at the same time...it's cancer, and it's terrifying. Is it just me? Any suggestions on how to get back into life without a constant haunting or looking over your shoulder? 

I breezed through a bit and saw your post about PTSD Josgirl and I think that is exactly right. I just thought that yesterday, actually, I had a particularly terrible childhood and was diagnosed with PTSD from that and yes, I would say that the symptoms are very similar. I think I need to get back into seeing a therapist. I fired mine a few months ago because she just wasn't pushing me enough. 

Other than that, life is going well. My expansions are going okay. The last one kicked my butt pain-wise, but I am still not done yet. I said that I want to be able to lease advertising space on these puppies. I have super dry skin and have had to force myself to put lotion on. That is another issue altogether-dealing with the numbness; I hadn't even wanted to touch them previous to that. I guess it is good for me to face it though. I am going to have to learn to love these numb projections on my chest since I will have them for the rest of my life. At least they will be pretty and perky forever, right?! Things are going great with the boyfriend. We had our first squabble and managed to get through that really well. Thankfully my life is in a financial ruin and I don't want to drag anyone else into that or we may have just ended up on the super fast track of things. The future is something that we talk a lot about. Kind of weird how things work out.

Anyway, I will try to keep in touch better. I have been ridiculously behind with homework and I started another class on the 25th. 11 credit hours is probably a bit much. I am going to be taking a 5 credit hour 8 week class this summer, too I am a glutton for punishment! Oh, and to add insult to injury: my sister, the one that lives here and has not been there for me at all, but I thought was coming around? The one that USED to be my best friend? She officially disowned me the day before my birthday. Facebook blocked me and the whole nine. Why? Because I dyed my hair blue. Yup. *sigh* 

lighthouselady

Kay - how fun!  Speaking of the stickers.... one of mine is coming off!  Yikes!  I thought I could just cover the mark with something else, but the mark is on the STICKER now, not me!!!!!!!!!!  So I sort of taped it down with a band aid and I'll have to call tomorrow to see what they want to do.

Kbeee - I found my lump, too.  I know it didn't, but it seemed to pop up out of nowhere (6:00 right below the nipple).  One month nothing, then WHAM - huge lump.  

Vintagegal - Yay, a rads buddy!!!  Sorry about your traffic mishap, but I'm glad you (or your car) weren't hurt!

Anonymous

Kbee,  I found my lump too!  Right on the outside too -at 3:00. I was reading in bed and resting my hands on my chest ...and that was it!  It was June 2013 and I'd had a clear mammogram in March 2012.  I asked my MO if my tumor could have really grown 2.3 cm in that time period.  He said it might have or the mammogram might have missed it!    I'm starting to be a bigger believer in clinical breast exams than mammograms!

SouthernGirl1974

LHL lol I got blue markings I asked how am I suppose to shower she said do not scrub it's paint so you would have to really scrub to get it off and the also put clear tape over the markings 

SouthernGirl1974

I found my lump also never had a mammo as I found my lump @ age 38 

audra67

Chiming in-  mammogram found my 7mm. size lump- I NEVER would've known it was there!  At 1200 could barely feel a hard bb when I knew where it was...

But I believe in manual exams for sure!  I mostly believe in God as I hadn't had a mammogram in 4 years!  And I'd only had one!  My cousins wife had just been diagnosed with BC, and that's why I went and got a mammogram!  UNREAL!!  But glad I did.  I had dense breasts too all of these years.  Interestingly I got a letter in the mail from the hospital saying a blurb about Texas laws and new dense breast things requiring mammograms yearly instead of every few like FEd Govmt suggested. 

I am taking the Curcumin, fish oil liquid (barf), vitamin D, B,E,Calcium glucanate, and Tamoxifen.

The hot flashes and now 'vaginal discharge' with Tamoxifen are only side effects, but the discharge is SUPER gross and annoying!  My new MO said nothing to fix that...yay.

I used to be a nurse and still get emails from various medical literature.. was reading the positive effects of eating 10 servings veggies daily...the integrative MO I saw said 12, but there seems to be a trend...so eat up girls!!!  I think it might ward off cancer...:)

I wish we knew --

I had a HUGE scar tissue buildup under where port was, a lump, been getting MLD by PT and just went to a massage therapist that uses a HIVAMAT machine...it breaks up scar tissue and separates the skin from fascia/ under neath...anyhow...it is AMAZING!!!  They both think I don't have lymphedema but my foobs swell horribly...they think it is from port scar or just surgery still...anyway...the HIVAMAT thing burned the area but the next day it is barely a little scar feeling - NO LUMP!!! And miraculously my boobs are normal size!  ???!!!! I am hopefully optimistic that it is NOT lymphedema and hoping it all will go back to normal now...I sure don't need another issue.

I think you all have very 'vigorous' hair growth...mine seems not so much.... it is getting more all over but still looks like a dark shadow...feels soft though...we go on our trip in 2 weeks so hoping for miracle grow (isn't that a plant vitamin formula?) in that time. SOOOOOOOO  #@%$%@%$# tired of the wig thing and it's getting hot here in Texas...a wig just won't work.

Happy Friday to you all!  Hope and faith will get us through!

KBeee

Josgirl and Mama, I think you hit the nail on the head with the PTSD.  I was just thinking yesterday during a mini meltdown about how we all must get some degree of PTSD.  Our focus during chemo and surgery is getting through each day...doing what we need to to just make it through the treatments, while still meeting the needs of our kids, spouses, etc.  .  Once it's all said and done, we have time to process all that has happened, and that's when it hits us.  When I was diagnosed, I shared it with one of my best childhood friends, who'd gone thorugh it 3 years ago.  I did not hear from her again for 6 months.  She later explained that it was just too painful.  I get that and respect it...no harm done.  I see a lot of heinous stuff at work and get into a lot of bad situations, so PTSD is pretty common there.  What keeps me positive there is talking, talking, talking about it.  There are times when someone has come into my room there at 2 AM and woke me up to talk about a call; I have done the same to others.  When we have our down moments, we talk about it and vent about it and pick each other back up.  I think that is one of the things that is so very valuable about the relationships we've formed here.  No one quite understands what we are going through.  Even though our lives are heading in the direction back to "normal", it is a new normal that others do not understand.  I think we need to rely on each other now as much as ever, because we will all have our up and down days and up and down weeks, but we've been through the trenches and we all "get it" when other just don't.  I find it easier to vent to people who get it, than to people who would roll their eyes nad think I should just be lucky to be alive. 

Audra, As I am reading your entry, I have in front of me a serving bowl (not a cereal bowl) filled with salad.  Score 1 for me...lots of veggies!  I hope your hair has a huge growth spurt.  A wig in the Texas heat would be annoying.  I hope the swelling stays down too.

Running, It seems mammos must miss a lot...especially for those of us with dense breasts.  They are a valuable tool, but if they can't get a good reading, I wish they would supplement with ultrasound.

Michelle, I hope they get your sticker replaced.  Maybe they can do session 1 while you're there.

Simplelife, Have fun dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!

Southerngirl, I get mad when I see them want to puch back mammos until women are older.  Too many women like us are getting it younger...and you're 5 years younger than me!

Vintage, Glad you're OK after the crash.

BetterDay

In response to the "how you found your lump" poll, I found mine in the shower. I would like to say that I was diligently performing a self exam, but nope.  Just hit it by accident with my arm while reaching for something and "ow, that hurt, I wonder what that could be."  Went to doctor that same day who assured me it was nothing (doesn't feel like cancer, cancerous tumors don't hurt, you're young, etc.), but thankfully he sent me for a diagnostic mammo.  I say thankfully because mammo showed nothing - zero, zip, nada.  Same dense breast issue that Simplelife/LHL/Kbeee had.  Ultrasound, however, showed a mass.  Radiologist assured me it looked benign but (again) thankfully sent me for a biopsy.  And here I am.  I often think how lucky I was that my docs sent me for further testing even though they thought there was no cancer.  I've read about many women that were sent off to "wait and see what happens" only to come back 6 months later to a much bigger problem.

Simplelife, a dancing redhead!  You go girl!  Make sure you do post a pic!!! Kbeee, I'm with you on the bra shopping.  I have to do it but I really don't want to. And I hope your friend's biopsy turns up clear.  Warrior70, congrats on finishing rads! Vintage, nice work on the thin, faint scars.  I have one side that could be described like that but the other still is a little Frankensteiny.  Happy you weren't hurt in the accident. Josgirl and Audra, quick question on the supplements.  Did your MOs tell you to take them or are you doing it on your own?  My MO doesn't tell me to take anything though she "ok'd" a small amount of Vitamin D after I asked her about it. Mama, so nice to hear from you again.  I can totally relate to the fear you describe.  Hang in there.  And Kbeee is right that it makes all the difference to have people to vent to and share with.

Have a fabulous weekend, ladies and Art (btw, how's Nat?)!

audra67

Betterday-  I saw a MO/gyn that also does integrative medicine!  She recommended them and now I just changed to a 'better' MO and she said keep on them...and agreed with taking them. 

Here is my hair shot- 11 weeks PFC yesterday...not as much as a lot of you, I must be a slow grower (( I still look bald...

knightzoo

I also found my lump, 5 months after my last professional physical exam and it was 4cm. Crazy fast growing which I guess was good news for the chemo. The mammo showed nothing but during us the doctor told me it was cancer while doing the biopsy. Not even a "maybe". Ugh, makes me sick to think of that morning. 

My back has been itchy this week, I wasn't as diligent about putting lotion back there as I was my front and side. Lotion up rad girls!!

Anonymous

Audra!  Totally beautiful!  Your hair on your head looks like a soft fuzz! :-) Your eyelashes look long, too!  Your eyebrows are very nicely done!! Hope the miracle grow helps!! 

And I'm happy you are seeing some improvement in the scar tissue at your port site! I have a lot of bruising right now and the area is sore to the touch, but I hope I don't have further problems!!!

BetterDay

Thanks for the info, Audra.  Beautiful picture!

josgirl

Betterday - Like Audra I saw an integrative oncologist about the supplements.  But my regular onc blessed off on them.  Don't think he cares one way or the other but he acknowledged they won't do any harm (outside of looking like I am an addict - since I certainly can't be confused with a body builder - haha). 

Audra, Hey it is growing back in.  I think when we see ourselves we can't see past all the hair we lost but to see the same hair'cut' on someone else looks really cute (like yours).  It will grow..

kjsimpson

KBee,   I didn't have a lump. I had a small rash on my left breast.  It was an odd rash (thick) so I went to the doc. Hadn't had a mammo in 10 years (yeah, yeah... I know).  Doc and I agreed it would be good to have a mammo done, but he thought it was simply a rash (he had never seen IBC before) and referred me to a dermatologist. Fortunately, I was a little more pro-active and got a mammo the next day (a cancellation came up). Knew I was in trouble when the techie left the room 4 times to see if the doc wanted more pictures. It was late in the day, but they did an immediate ultrasound too (unscheduled).  Doc used the cancer word by saying, "it is doubtful that this isn't cancer". Then corrected himself and said, "very doubtful". Crazy day. 

Mamabear,  not to diminish your feelings, but I think we all battle with the "PTSD" like symptoms.  Sometime it is much more overwhelming than others. For me, it is when I think to much about what I might miss in the lives of my children if things go south. Also, when we lose friends in our cancer community. It is hard to be close to that reality that all of us won't make it and it could be me next. 

How do we combat it?  My solution is to be bold and as fully engaged in life and "normalcy" as I can. I seriously plan my breakdown days so that I can remind cancer that I am in charge and it will not get the best of me!  

I so appreciate everyone here. We each have our unique stories and strategies. We are all giant trees in the forest bound together in our roots with love of our families and a will to do the very best we can with the challenges given. You all amaze me with your strength and wisdom. I am grateful to have found my way here to share this journey with truly amazing women!!

70charger

KBeee  Nobody could feel my tumor even when they knew it was there. It showed up on mamo, then off to ultrasound, Radiologist came in & told me he was sending me for biopsy. Rest is history.

I love the selfies!  Am I the ONLY one with white hair? Maybe I'm the oldest one on here.  Maybe that's why I can't keep up with you gals. LOL

Have a lot of fatigue today.  But kept on going.  Started packing, went through closet, tried on clothes, have a big bag going out the door. Got travel ins quotes, changed hubbys Dr. appt.  Went through drugs, lotions etc to make list of what is needed hubby is diabetic & has several meds. Called Cancer center to find out what I could take instead of Benedryl.  She didn't know that it doesn't mix with Tamoxifen!  I can take Reactine though. I get an itchy sun rash on top of my feet when in Mexico. Washed up sun hats, found sunglasses, dug out insulated travel mugs for poolside. I can see by your faces you are getting a little green with envy so I will shut up now. You get the picture. I had this all done by noon!

Have a comfortable evening all.

kjsimpson

Have fun in Mexico, 70Charger.  ;-)

Try not to get a rash. LOL

simplelife4real

So many posts.....

On the PTSD thing, I felt like I really had it the first couple months after diagnosis.  Having triple negative BC scared me to death in the beginning.  I'm a lot better now, but I've read that most people go through another bout of anxiety after treatment ends.  Since I'm still in treatment, I haven't had to face that one yet.   I'm with KJ and wanting to be fully engaged in life after treatment ends.  I'm hoping hubby and I will get to do lots of bicycle trips which will take up a lot of space in my brain....not to mention how good it feels to be outdoors exercising.

Audra.  I think your hair is actually longer than mine.   Mine feels very slow growing too at this point.  I'm 11.5 weeks out (last chemo on Jan. 14).   Today was the first day I wore a baseball cap in public (to Costco).  I feel like I look like a boy, so I wore a cap with flowers on it to help the "curious" to figure out that I am not!  I can tell my stamina is so much better, going to Costco didn't wear me out.

 I totally agree with people's comments on how this thread and all of you have been so helpful with coping with breast cancer treatment and all the emotional toll that goes along with it.  I hope we stick together and this thread stays active for many years to come.  You ladies mean so much to me.  

Hugs,

Kay

mercedes60

so many great posts everyone! 

Kbee and KJsimpson, love your outlook and yes totally agree with you, Kbee, I admire you with the type of work you do plus going thru this cancer and it helps when we vent here we are all experiencing the same feelings. I too was in denial at the beginning couldn't even look at the pamphlets they gave me to read that screamed out Cancer, chemo, surgery etc., You see i lost my older brother at the end of May, 2013, tobone cancer, i was with him in his final week, he was adopted, then my father in law tried to commit suicide a couple weeks after and was hospitalized he later passed in January this year, then i was diagnosed at the end of July 2013 and by the way  my mamo was clear August 2012, i felt a lump  in june that seemed to grow rapidly and with everything going on around me I simply thought i had a cyst that needed asperating,and didn't rush to have it checked. I did in July, wow surprise....amd strangely enough when i finished chemo I had anxiety about it reoccuring if i stopped chemo crazy thoughts, but you have to push through with the help of friends that are going thru the same. You guys 

Simplelife looking good, love the cap, i too started wearing my cap its finally warming up here

Audra, wow beautiful pic, don't worry about the  white fuzz, most of it falls out, just trim it too. Are those your eyelashes, i'm jealous. Lol

70charger viaje con dios! Have a super time

To everyone else have a good weekend

PeacockGirl

Sigh.....it is actually really hard for me to talk about how I 'found' the lump in my left breast. I distinctly remember rolling over a ball to do pushups in a class I was teaching in 2004 and feeling it. In 2005 I had a baseline mammogram (age 36) and it came back fine. In 2007 I had an annual well woman exam and the area was noticed by the NP I was seeing... but she said it was nothing to worry about since it "matched" a similar structure on my right breast. She said they were both milk ducts. No mammo ordered.  I put off another well woman exam until October of 2012 (my bad).... The area in my left breast was noticed again (by a new dr. I had not seen before) and I was scheduled for a mammogram. It wasn't presented to me as urgent or anything even remotely of high concern...but I knew in my heart it was a little suspect. I put that mammogram off for another 9 months. This is where it gets hard. I was stupid. I was in denial. I thought if I ignored it ...it would go away. I also had a husband who had signed up for an ironman triathlon on June 23, 2013 and I knew he would give up and quit if and when I was diagnosed. So...in the spring of 2013....it grew and alarmingly fast. It was like a marble getting bigger every day. I put that mammogram off until he finished his Ironman, admittedly one of the best days of our entire lives...it took him 14.5 hours to swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles and run 26.2 miles. I never told him about the growing bump in my breast. I called the very next day we got back to town. Scheduled two weeks later July 16th. Diagnostic mammogram, ultrasound *and* biopsy all done in one day. Diagnosed 2 days later. And here I am. Triple negative. Stage 2, grade 3. I lived with that tumor inside of me for a *very* long time. I'm not proud of what happened. Or for how I behaved.  I'm regretful. I'm also damned lucky I didn't have cancer all over. Had I been more diligent I probably would have been diagnosed DCIS a long time ago and been able to avoid chemo. Would I change things? I'm not sure. It's just my story. For better or worse.  

VintageGal1111

Awh Peacock Girl

 don't beat yourself up. We do what we can do. Some of us knew immediately it was cancer, others were told by medical professionals not to fret, to wait it out. Some of us could have never had a mammo, others could have had one every 6 months & still there could be a lump.

I found my lump. Last July, it was hot & when I took my bra off I rubbed along where the underwire was & holy chit, felt a lump like a Jordon almond way down at 6 oclock position. I hadn't felt it before, it didn't move, and was very sensitive to the touch. Two days later the stabbing pain started. I had to see my pcp (for referral) before going in for mammo/us. She didn't seem overly concerned. Also because I had such pain in my breast it seemed she was under the wrong assumption that *breast cancer doesn't hurt*. It was evident to me from the tech & then the dr she brought in after the mammo & US that it was cancer though they didn't say.

It felt HUGE to me, & being very small breasted it was noticable. Like how did I NOT feel or see it before?

Art123

just checking in, hope all you wonderful ladies are doing well. Nat has one more fill left, PS says she is healing well, shes more than a B cup now (that's the size she wants) the foobs look big, I told her good thing u did not want to be a D, you would tip over (she's petite). We meet with rad onc Thursday, expect nat to start rads soon.

The blood clot thing still an issue because her levels have not gotten better, they adjusted the dosage again. She's feeling good & goes back to work Friday.

Finally a sunny and nice day in NYC so we spent the afternoon exploring fort Greene nabe in Brooklyn. Felt like getting back to our normal life.

70charger

Mamma  So good to hear from you.  Chin up, blue hair is beautiful.  Check in often it will help

Audra, simple, Southern  All looking good!

KJ  Thanks.

Having a chemo flashback day today.  Watery eyes for last 3 days, eyelashes falling out, facial neuropathy occasionally. No appetite topped off with a queasy stomach. Oh & I've lost 5 lbs.  If it is just a stomach bug I will kill it with tequila!

lighthouselady

Peacockgirl - I can relate to your story about finding your lump.  I had my first mammogram at age 38 because I knew something was "off" on my left side.  I kept feeling lumps under my arm (which I knew were lymph nodes but figured I could blame them on a cold I had at the time or whatever) and the chest area above my breast was a little swollen looking compared to the right side.  I also just felt "tingling" and almost pain in the area between my breast and underarm.  I started feeling all of this in Dec 2011....had mammogram July 2012 after my annual exam in June.  She didn't feel anything of concern, just fibrocystic breasts and the mammo was clear.  Same thing the following year.  No lump, still feeling the same weird feelings but a clear mammo.  Then at the end of June 2013 I was in NY visiting my mom for a few weeks with my kids and I remember going to bed and laying on my stomach and being uncomfortable.  I went and looked in the mirror and I could see my skin dimpling in that area on my breast and I knew immediately.  I called Hubby hysterically (he stayed home) and told him I just knew in my gut it was bad.  It was an agonizing three weeks until I got home & could get in to the doctor.  From that moment on, I've been kicking myself for not pushing for more screening when I *knew* something was off on that side.  But I just stupidly went along with the clean mammos and the fact that my NP and doctor never saw a reason to send me for further testing.  If I had, maybe I wouldn't have been stage III at age 40.  Ugh ugh ugh.

My daughter had 6 softball games this weekend and her team hosted the tournament, so we were at the fields ALL weekend.  I was there from 5-10pm Friday, 8:15am - 11pm yesterday and 8:30am - 2pm today.  Most of the time when she wasn't playing I sat at the t-shirt table selling shirts, but I was on my feet a lot and even emptied trash and helped clean the bathrooms.  Needless to say, I'm exhausted!  And Friday it was in the 90s and today 46 and rain.... crazy Texas weather!  Then I had to try to figure out the financial aspects since two different teams hosted the tourney with the league, so the money gets split between the three (plus the concession money gets split with the people who run that)..... my chemo brain could hardly figure this all out, and I was an accounting major!  LOL

Thank God I'm off tomorrow and the only thing I have scheduled is lunch with a friend.

KBeee

Michelle, Glad the tournament went well.  That sounds exhausting!!!!!  I hope you can get soem rest today, and that you have a relaxing lunch with your friend.

70 charger, I hope you've just got a stomach bug...and that the tequila kills it!  I hope you have a fabulous time in Mexico!!!!!  It amazes me that the Cancer center didn't know Benedryl and Tamoxifen should not be taken together.  I think it's their job to know those things, but I am not surprised.  I got Benedryl after my last surgery, so I am goign to call my MO befoe rthis next one and ask what they can give me instead should I need it.  It'll be interesting to hear if they have the same response!  Maybe I should ask my pharmacist.

Art, Glad you and Nat had a weekend of normalcy.  It is so nice when glimpses of this future happen for all of us.  We're so close!  I hope they can get the clotting thing figured out.

Vintage, Being small breasted helped make my lump more noticable early too.

Peacock, Have no regrets.  You did what you needed to do at the time.  It sounds like several medical professionals could have done more earlier, but they seem so quick to dismiss breast lumps in younger women.  Frustrating, but hearing all of these stories makes me a bigger advocate for telling friends to never let a doctor dismiss a concern such as a lump.  I've had a coulpe friends since I've been diagnosed have lumps, and they bring them up to me knowing my experience now, and I'm pretty firm about them getting checked asap.    Before all of this, I'm pretty sure my attitude would have been much, much more of a wait and see approach.

Mercedes, I can't imagine all you have been through in this past year or so.  I'm so sorry.  I am glad to hear the weather is finally warming up there.  I have been whining all winter abotu the extreme cold, and I know you are so much colder than us.  I am a cold weather wimp.  I always have been.

Kay, Looking great...and I love the hat!  Did you paint it yourself?  Thanks for the inspiration to get my bike out.  I did a lot of riding with the kids last summer, but had not dusted it off this year until last week.  It's nice to have something besides running to get my body in motion, and I am sure my aching, old joints appreciate a little variety as well.

KJ, I love your attitude nad plannign the breakdown days.  I like to give myself a time and a place to have my breakdowns too!!!!  I know I need to get it out, and if I let myself do that from time to time, I have less other times.

Josgirl, Did you find the integrative oncologist helpful?  I look at my pile of pills in  my S M T W R F S sorter each day  and feel like a druggie too!  Most are just vitamins and such, but wow.  Once I finish out my current supply, I will decrease the number of them.

Running, I hope the port bruising is improving.  That sounds sore.

Knightzoo, Hope the trip to DC was great!

Audra, You are beautiful!  One thing about having a little less hair is that we notice facial features, and yours are striking!  Your hair looks like it is coming in blond, which is probably why it looks shorter than it actually is.  It looks to be growing back with nice complete coverage.  I had a similar amount 11 weeks PFC; I have been taking selfies each week and labeling them which helps me see that it is growing.  Of course, right now, Mine is just growing in circles...kind of like a poodle sleeping on my head.

Betrerday, the bra shoppnig wasn't fun, but was not as bad as I anticipated...and I am glad I did it.  I was also worried about what size I'd need because I seem mugh fuller than before.  I'd asked for a C cup, and low and behold, my surgeon got it right. 

My lump was actually found while we were in England.  DH had a business trip and the rest of us tagged along.  DH actually found it.  "How long has this lump been here?"  I still remembe rthose words.  I hadn't noticed it.  Kind of killed the moment!  The rest of the trip, I think I slept maybe an hour a night, if I was lucky.  My gut told me it was cancer, because I had always had a gut feelign I'd get breast cancer. I had other lumps I was less concerned with, my gut told me otherwise this time, and my darn gut is never wrong.  It was a long 2 weeks being away.  I waited 2 extra weeks when we got back because in May I had purchased AFLAC cancer care through work.  It kicked in July 1, but if I was diagnosed in teh first month, there was no coverage.  I was hoping to never need the coverage, but I nevertheless waited the extra 2 weeks.  I went in to see the nurse practitioner because my doc was on vacation.  She referred me for a diagnostic mammo and ultrasound the next day.  I remember the radiologist's words.  "What you feel is just the tip...you know, like an iceberg, just the tip is what's obvious."   Tip of the iceberg...got it.  She tried to reassure me that these are usually benign, but I knew when she moved appointments around and came in early the next day just so she could squeeze me in for a biopsy, that she felt otherwise.  Biopsy on a Friday, call the next Monday with the results.  I met with the surgeon on Thursday, and the surgery was a couple weeks later.  The rest is history...just like the cancer...history.

 

 

lighthouselady

Of course, right now, Mine is just growing in circles...kind of like a poodle sleeping on my head.

LOL   Perfect description for my hair, too!!!

knightzoo

Holy cow, what a wild week.  I had a blast, pushed my body in levels of activity it had not seen in a long 7 months, and yesterday Team South Dakota won their division at the National Championships!  What a wild month!  State title, radiation graduation, national championship!  I did go without cover much of the weekend, when I wasn't in cold places I like it up here on Cloud 9!

70charger

Knight  High 5!  Gotta get a nice frame for that beautiful pic!

LHL  mine has not figured out what it is going to be.  Very naturally curly before.  So far waves in back, fuzz & all directions, no tight curls though.

Kbeee  Still feeling crappy today.  It was the pharmacist at the cancer center that didn't know about benedryl.  Here in Alberta, we have to get our Tamox from the center's pharmacy, otherwise it is not covered.   I can take zyrtec, reactine, or plain old citrizine ( main ingredient in both).

Saw a Robin this morning.  Suppose to be +16C tomorrow.  I'll take some time to just sit on the deck & enjoy the warmth of the sun, in my parka!