My mom has breast cancer too

sabihah

Ugh.  My mommy, who I love so dearly, was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  They're also investigating a "suspicious area" in the other breast.  She's only 58 years old.  Her mother had a double masectomy around the same age, and she's still mostly healthy.  My other grandmother died of colon cancer around the same age.  Not that it's in my genetic make-up, but my husband's grandmother died of breast cancer a couple of years ago.

There are so many conflicting emotions... my mom is being really up-beat about it.  And she should; she's had a mammogram every year, and the cancerous area is only about an inch across.  She still feels fine.  Her chances are really good.  My dad is an awesome support person for her.  My brother is there to help too.

But I'm still really really worried about her!  And, she doesn't deserve this!  And, I just want to give her a hug!

I'm kind of worried about my grandmother too, the breast cancer survivor.  Her masectomies were done with little warning, and the recovery was very difficult for her, and I think she had some mental scars from that.  I think she must be going through a rough time.

My other brother and I both live thousands of miles away, with our own little children to take care of.  I'm lucky that we have a wedding coming up in a few weeks where my parents live, so we'll see her then.  I really hope she'll be well enough to come to the wedding with us.  Knowing her, she probably won't want to tell anyone at the wedding and distract them.  She's an extremely generous and self-effacing person, and never one to seek attention.

Thanks for listening...

Chickadee

Im so sorry for your mom. She'll enjoy seeing you soon thats for sure. Given your family history it might be wise to be tested for the BRCA gene.

mdg

So sorry your mom has been diagnosed and you have to worry.  BC is a lot to deal with.  In time she will feel more comfortable talking about it and telling people.  I would not let my husband tell anyone at all for a long time either.  I was not ready to accept it and talk about it. 

Hopefully your mom is early stage.  Women with early stage BC can do very well!  I am almost 3 years out from my dx and I am doing great. Surgery options now are much better than in years past. I had full reconstruction with my bilateral mastectomy and no one would ever know.  I even teach aerobics in tight fitting fitness attire and you can't tell I had surgery. WHen people do find out - they can't believe it. 

Take it one step at a time with your mom.  Listen and be there for her.  Continue to come here for great information and insight.  Also come her to vent any fears/frustration!  We are here for you!!!

I would also suggest you get tested for BRCA.   I would talk to your doctor and see if they will give your more comprehensive screening since you have a family history of BC. 

Good luck!

Moderators

(((((Hugs))))) We are thinking of you all. Just take one step at a time 

sabihah

Thanks guys!

It looks like Mom has stage I breast cancer, so that's hopeful.  We'll know for sure if the lymph nodes are involved after she goes in for surgery and they do a dye test.

She's going to have a genetic screening, but yes, I should have one too.  I'll have to look into that at my next annual physical.  I'll see when I should get a baseline mammogram too.  Last year, when I asked about it, the doctor said she usually doesn't recommend them before the age of 40.  (I'm 36.)

sabihah

So, my Mom actually has a BRCA 1 mutation.  Guess I really do need to get tested now.  Maybe I'll try to get tested before the end of the year.

That apparently means her treatment will be more aggressive too.  She'll be getting several surgeries at once.  The multiple surgeries worry me somewhat.

On the other hand, it's good to have a cause for the cancer.  That helps us target the treatment, and it gives me and her sisters fair warning.

Actually, it sounds like my aunts are taking it harder than I am.  For them, the risk is more imminent. 

I'm not sure if I should broach the subject with my grandmother or not.  Maybe I'll only talk about it if she does first?

sabihah

Well, we had a little family reunion this weekend, and we had some good conversations about breast cancer and BRCA 1.  My family is very medically-oriented: one one side we have two doctors and three nurses, and on the other side we have three nurses and a PhD in public health.  Most of the family who we told felt like talking about it.  My grandmother listened politely but did not join in.

Turns out that my great-grandmother and grandmother both had breast cancer in their early 40s.  So, we're contacting everyone from my great-grandmother on down to see if they want to get tested for BRCA 1.

My mom and dad are still very optimistic.  Her chances are very good.  After all, my great-grandmother lived to be 89, and my grandmother is still going strong at 75ish.  Her surgeries will be in early October.  Prayers are always appreciated!

I'm off to my first step in getting tested now... the primary care doctor, for referrals.

sabihah

If you're reading this, Mom's surgery is in two weeks.  We would appreciate prayers!  She continues to be her usual optimistic self, which is great.

sabihah

Mom had her bilateral mastectomy yesterday, plus the first stage of reconstruction (expanders). It was an 8 1/2 hour surgery, all told, plus a few hours in recovery. But she's actually feeling much better today. Some fatigue, some soreness, but she was able to get some sleep, eat, and walk a little. They're sending her home from the hospital already. It's a little scary to be out of the doctors' constant care, but they only live 2 miles from the hospital and cancer center, and she'll be safer from infection at home.

The other great news is that they didn't find any cancer in the lymph nodes.

While having a part of your body removed is always a little... disconcerting?... mentally, I think she's mostly happy to be rid of the cancer and relieved that the mastectomy itself is behind her. She sounded happy today.

sabihah

I get to visit Mom next weekend. :-) So far so good with her. I mean, recovering from a bilateral mastectomy is no walk in the park, but she's a trooper. She just got her drains out. We also found out that she won't need radiation. (Chemo need is yet to be determined.)

Ariom

Sabiha, this is the first time I have seen your posts, but wanted to send all my best to your Mother. I am so glad to hear she has come through the surgery well, and you have made it out to see her.

Fingers crossed that she won't need chemo! I wish you all the very best!

sabihah

Thank you, Ariom!

sabihah

I had such a nice visit with Mom and my family this weekend. She looks great, really. I mean, she has some serious scars that are still healing, and she was very sore in her neck/shoulders, but she looks healthy overall. She has been tired and sleeping on an odd schedule, which she blames on the pain medications, but she's pretty much stopped taking those now.

She got out of the house for a nice long walk and a movie this weekend. Dad went back to work for the first time on Monday. She's scheduled to go back to work next week, but she talked to her manager, and they agreed that she can come back half-time for the first few weeks, until she feels up to working full days. She works a desk job, at least, with ladies that she enjoys working with. She also has a good friend who pulled her mastectomy stitches three times, so she's being very careful not to break any of the rules about range of motion or lifting.

I feel very fortunate that I got to visit with Mom for a long weekend, and give her some good (careful) hugs.

We'll need to wait a couple more weeks to find out about the chemo.

sabihah

Well, unfortunately, Mom's pathology report showed that one of her tumors was triple-negative. The other was slightly receptive to estrogen (20%). She'll need to have a 16-week course of chemo every two weeks, followed by 5 years of tamoxifen.

That's a bitter pill to swallow (pun intended), but we all want to make sure they do everything they need to do to make sure the cancer doesn't come back.

Mom went to pick out wigs with her sister already. They went to a community center for cancer patients called "The Gathering Place". http://www.touchedbycancer.org/ She really likes it there.

Mom's still planning to go back to work in the next week or two, part time. She's worried about running out of FMLA leave and losing her job, because her health insurance is through her job, and my Dad doesn't have any health insurance through his job. She thinks she can handle half-days, when she's not getting chemo. We'll see how it goes.