Question about crying

lovewins

Hello Ladies....I am looking for some examples of how you coped with the emotional side of this journey.  I am amazed at the love and support I have received, but still I find that it is so easy for me to cry.  I am still working and yesterday I received a coaching and I broke into tears.  It is not super serious but I am trying so hard to keep up with my work.  I think it is normal for me to be this way....but I am looking for some suggestions from someone who might of been the same way and found ways to cope without being in tears.  I am very close to quitting smoking and I do have nerve pills but I don't take them everyday.  Thanks for any tips.  Wishing you all the very best...M

jacksnana

Oh gosh, the emotional side of.this journey has been the hardest part for me. It does get easier to control your emotions as time goes by. In the beginning I'd cry everytime I told somebody I had BC. It does seem like some people can detach from their diagnosis easier than otbers, but that hasn't been the case for me. I think many probably take anti anxiety meds also. I don't have any answers, but just wanted you to know you're not alone!!

BayouBabe

lovewins - it is definitely an emotional journey! Wish I had a magic answer for you. I cried a lot in the beginning as well. Never knew what would set me off. I would take frequent bathroom breaks at work, or find a quick errand to do if I felt the tears coming. Staying occupied helped, as it didn't give my mind time to wander. On a good note, the tears are very healing, and help relieve stress, as frustrating as they are. My doctor prescribed Valium and Ativan for me in the beginning, but I only used these when I was home or right before a procedure. Hang in there; it really does get easier.

lovewins

thank you ladies it really does help to feel less alone about this.  It is good to know tears are healing...too bad my head feels so bad afterward!  I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this place and everyone in it.

carolpr56

Ok, here's a trick that works. When you feel the tears coming, push the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Stops them in their tracks. Helpful at work, etc., but make sure to take time for crying, ok?

lovewins

thak you Carol I wll give it a try

shoppygirl

I have found it very difficult not to be emotional. I went to visit my work the other day as I am returning soon an when the VP came out to greet me I started to cry. It was very embarrassing and I too have trouble coping with it. I now try to be more gentle with myself and just try to remember that I have been through a lot. Taking this pressure off myself to act strong and to stay positive all the time has helped. I find it amazing that people that have never been through this have these weird expectations in how you should be dealing with BC. They seem to think that once you complete treatment that it will be gone and forgotten but we all know that is not the case. Be kind to yourself and I think over time it should get better. Also thank goodness for the amazing ladies in these boards that are so supportive and kind! I know they have helped me so many times!

gonegirl

I broke down at least once a week, usually on my most exhausted days. I would call someone on those days. I also would close my office door when I needed to. I had to get it out. The emotions are a huge part of this, and they just are. Worse to push them down. So many people understand this. Some don't. I found the ones who did and cried my eyes out.

Spookiesmom

I could be taking my dogs to the dog park and start crying. I just cried with them in the car, they'd clean up the tears. It happens at the most unexpected times. Just let it happen. It helps, and eventually does get better.

farmerlucy

Such words of wisdom from these ladies! I agree that things looked much worse when I was tired. I tried to really become aware of that to understand what was going on. I still do. If i am tired I notice I cry more easily and I eat more. My dogs also were the best listeners. I also kept a journal for a while. I also have this small clay pot with a lid and when I was really anxious I would write down the issue and put it in the "wishing pot"' . In essence I was giving the problem to a higher power. I also had a daily devotional type book, and that helped. So often it seemed it was speaking directly to me for where I was at. Also a good antidepressant has been a God Send to me. I currently take Effexor.

It will get better over time. Feel whatever you need to feel. Hugs!!

lovewins

I am feeling better already ladies...at this go around.  It is so comforting to know I am not alone.  I am going to try and be kinder to myself.  My Mom said maybe I need to accept that I am going to cry more now....I like that too.  I guess if they don't understand at work and think I am weak I will have to accept that too.  Tomorrow it will once again be chin up and back to work.  Although I am disapointed in them for coaching me...but I work for a large company and they have to be fair I guess.  Thank you ladies for giving me stregnth and for sharing yourself...it is much appreciated.  I am thankful to each amd every one of you...what an awesome community.

FTell001

I have never been a crier. That is in the past now. I cry. I'm so glad I found this thread.

I can't talk about it without the tears pouring down. It has gotten a little better but when it's time for surgery, I start again. Hearing about others, especially the young mothers will cause the tears to start.

Ariom

I was never one to cry either, but now just about anything can set me off, and I don't mean in a bad way. I can't honestly say that I have any emotional issues about my surgery etc, but I can be set off by even a sad TV commercial! It is quite extraordinary!

I have always believed that crying was a good release and would rid your body of Toxins, that it was actually good for you, but it never came easy to me.

I have gone through a number of unexpected changes in the past year, learning to cry is just one of them!

Anonymous

Crying is GREAT! Every time I get a chance I encourage people that its not weak to cry but actually strong and men are NO exception. I too believe they relieve stress and tension. Over the years I've had "desert times" where I just don't seem to cry and others it "rainforest times" When I start, theres No hope of me stopping so I just don't bother and too bad who sees, well when I'm home anyway. Long ago I got over embarrassment but I realise thats quite different when youre in places like a public job or something which Im not. Undoubtedly BC and all the associated trauma has seen me having more than my share of tears. I remember very recently getting soooo angry with wrapping and those pesky bandages doing what they shouldnt, I sobbed uncontrollably for a looong time.

tangandchris

Glad I found this thread too! I recently have found myself crying alot too. when I first found the lump and went thru all the diagnosis stuff, I didn't really cry. I was in shock I think and even when I told people what was happening it was all very clinical and detached feeling. Now that I've had my surgery, I'm crying alot. I'm talking about breaking down and sobbing, moaning, ugly crying lol. I've done this several times now, in front of people that I never thought I would do it in front of either. I'm not a cryer, but this traumatic event has done a number on me. I generally feel better when I cry and am able to vent some to another person also. It takes some of the pressure off and I agree about the tired part.....just like a small child I feel like I'm going to get weepy when I'm sleepy.

I've been especially emotional when people have reached out to me and my family with gifts, cards, or just an act of kindness over this cancer. this has made me cry alot too, just finding out that people are capable of being kind.

 

What a journey!

Blessings2011

We cry for so many reasons, and obviously the answers are different depending on the circumstances. But long ago, I read something, and really liked the perspective.

I wish I could remember the author, but here's the quote:

Warm tears are a sign that a heart that's been frozen by pain is beginning to thaw.

solsticegirl22

If we weren't meant to cry then God would not have given us tears.

mrenee68

Oh my gosh, I'm such a crier. I was a crier way before my diagnosis, but now it seems as if everything makes me cry. I cry over happy things, stressful things, oh heck everything. My middle child is the same way, doesn't take much for her to cry. She thanks me quite often for giving her the crying gene.lol