Dealing with 2nd more serious breast cancer

2timer

Hello all,

I have been lurking here for a few weeks.  Found out I had breast cancer (for the 2nd time) July 1.  I had decided to do a bmx with immediate DIEP reconstruction.  Because of scheduling issues, this won't happen until the end of August.  I freak out sometimes because the "shadowing" that was seen on my mammogram that turned out to be a 3.6 lesion was in October of last year.  I didn't rush to do the 6 month followup because they did a biopsy (of something else obviously) but waited until June to ask for an MRI.  It was a conscious decision -- so tired of all the callbacks.  Of all the times to be late in a follow up.  Also I am still a bit upset that all the suspicious things in my October mammogram were not biopsied at that time.  So I'll be 10+ months with this cancer once it's actually removed.  

I get upset when I think about this.  But I want to do everything at once, plus I want to enjoy some of my summer, and my niece who lives with me is going back to school the week before my surgery.  Frankly, I don't want her around when I get my surgery; I prefer her away at school.  And I was told that at this point a couple of months isn't going to make a big difference.  

I had been dx with DCIS 6 years ago and was treated with lumpectomy, radiation and tamoxifen for 5 years.  Funny thing is that the DCIS that was discovered, was only 7mm.  I'd always suspected that I might have been over treated -- especially with the radiation but I did what was suggested by my doctors.  And I did all my mammograms (annual) and had a biopsy or 2 in the interim.  I missed 2 years of MRI's (2011 and 2012) that I knew I should have had but no one really suggested or pushed them on me.  As a matter of fact, the MRI I had that confirmed the bc in July was my suggestion.  I did annual mammo's with an ultrasound if they saw something suspicious.  Went to the oncologist yesterday and he didn't feel anything palpable.  I have huge dense breasts and didn't really realize that density itself was in fact a risk factor until a year or so ago.  I am kicking myself that I didn't insist on the MRI's but I hated having them and like I said nobody requested that I have one.  Just venting here.  6 years ago mammography detected a tiny 7mm lesion of DCIS, but in those 6 years it couldn't detect an invasive cancer until it got to over 3 centimers!!!  I am flabbergasted by this.  Just venting; what's done is done and I have to look ahead and get ready to deal with this.

So I did rads, and tamoxifen and while I didn't have recurrence of DCIS, I got IDC.  Maybe it was there all along.  So this means in a sense, these treatments didn't work.  Most worrisome is this cancer developed while I was on tamoxifen (which I didn't really want to take but tolerated well).  So even though I'm 100% ER+ and moderately PR+, the hormonal I was taking failed.  In addition, the fact that I did raditation, which apparently also didn't work at killing the cancer cells, means I can't do them now.  So that's another weapon in the arsenal gone.  So I have a large tumor, that grew on anti hormonals and wasn't stopped by radiation.  I am praying hard that there is no node involvement or LVI but it's looking like I'll be doing chemo.  

I am upset but not a basket case yet.  I think I'm still in a bit of denial.  I haven't told anyone outside the medical community except my boyfriend who has been very supportive.  I have an 81 year old mother and I will tell her about a week before sugery.  I also have an aunt who had BC many years ago but is now struggling from the effects of chemo from another cancer.  I don't think them knowing about this right now is going to help.  I want them to have as much time without worrying about me as possible.  I know my family will be devastated and I just want to delay that as much as possible.

I can be in denial right now because I haven't started treatment.  The day I do surgery is the day my new life begins.  The prior treatment was, with the exception of skin issues from radiation, relatively easy.  It was more the emotional stuff of dealing with "cancer" that was the hardest to deal with;  all the worry and obsessing about it.  Boy, what I wouldn't give to have those 6 years back.  All that stress about a little DCIS, while the real cancer was lurking nearby.  But once they cut me open, remove my 2 breasts and start the reconstruction process the I can't pretend anymore.  I'll be in pain;  I'll be in stitches, my body will have been mutilated; I will be different.  My life will be different.  Then I get to wait for pathology and quite frankly, given my history I am just not that optimistic.  I'm hopeful but I'm realistic and I wouldn't be suprised if I'm upstaged after surgery.  But like people here say, it is what it is ... and I'll do my best to do whatever treatments I have to do to save my life.  But I know the deal first hand: with cancer, nothing is guaranteed. 

Okay guys, thanks for listening to my story.  This is so long that I might just copy it to other forums; but I do read here a lot trying to learn others experiences about the surgery.  I still really don't know what to expect.

Thanks!

bevin

I am so sorry that you are going through this a second time. wishing you peace and strength.

Hugs

Bevin

Pattysmiles

2timer,

Sorry you have another cancer to deal with. I am sure there are a lot if women in your shoes in regards to diagnosis. It sucks.i will also be doing DIEP... I had partial masecotmy and 3 "surprise tumors" were found in my margins that were not picked up by the MRI I had done! After thinking on that I decided that after chemo I would do DIEP, (as opposed to going back in for wider margins). I too want some of my summer for ME and my family. I will be taking my kids to Florida the end of .august and hopefully hit .disney and Universal while there. Why not? I also want my kids settled in school before I have surgery.



I am not looking forward to recovery from DIEP,but I AM looking forward to putting this all behind me. I hope your journey this time around is successful. Thank you for sharing your story, perhaps it will spur others to be more proactive (I know I wasn't when I should have been!)



Pat

bluepearl

I was also diagnosed with second b.c. this spring. Yeah...you sure stop trusting your body.  I had another mastectomy and snl....recovered nicely. No nodes positive....but as you say...nothbing is ever a guarantee....... that being said, so many people have passed since my diagnosis and not from cancer.....so in life, NO ONE gets any guarantees. We just do what we need to do and help each other as best we can as we are all in the same boat together! I am not sure if your invasive cancer is 3 cm or there is DCIS mixed in with it (as my first one was). Hang in there and try to stay optimistic. They may switch you to an A.I. instead of tamoxifen and make sure you weren't taking any meds that could cause tamoxifen not to work (like some antidepressants). Best wishes (((((HUGS)))))

MNSusan

My story is similar. I had 7mm DCIS in 2005 - lumpectomy and tamox, no radiation. In Nov 2012 there was a large area, 6cm+ in the same breast. Turns out its DCIS again but not a recurrence. The first one was ER/PR+. The new one was ER/PR-. The oncologist said its a new primary. I decided on BMX w TE reconstruction. Pathology showed a surprise 1.1cm IDC. My prophy breast was filed with ADH. I had my exchange to silicone implants in May.



I've done well. Surgery wasn't fun but it was necessary. I'm now cancer free! I just take things as they come and try not to worry about the future. I'm grateful that things were caught early and my prognosis is good.



I wish you the very best. {hugs}

Viji

Thank you for sharing your story 2timer. As you say, I too have been lurking around here since last year. Cancer has come back in the same breast after six weeks of radiation last year. As you all say, there are no guarantees in live and you have got to do what you have to, hoping to have quality time with family.

All the best!