Visitors!!

NisaVilla

I need help with how to handle people who want to visit me and whom I dont want to see at all. Of course, there are some long-term friends who are always welcome and those have been visiting and it feels right to be around them. But then we have the others! I am in the midddle of my first chemo and have stated "not now maybe later I will let you know" and they insist -the following day! I dont want to see them. I don't even know why they want to see me, because when I was healthy, they never even asked to visit me. Thanks for suggestions and stories....hopefully this is not just happening to me!

Myleftboob

Nisa

You could just say that your WBC are really low and you can't be the least bit exposed to germs at this time.  Its not really a lie.  I have a huge family that can be kind of overbearing in these type of situations and it's how I kept them at bay LOL!  Even when I was in for my MX surgery I told them all not to come with the exception of my sister.  I was only in for 30 hours and slept alot and really didn't want 20 visitors in the room bothering my roomie too.

I also have a SIL that kept  wanting to come to chemo with me.  I finally said OK but the problem was she's over emotional and crys at the drop of a hat.  Here I was comforting her and meanwhile I was the one being treated.

curveball

NisaVilla, No, you're not the only one! When I was in the early part of treatment (surgery & chemo) some people who wanted to come by I just told flat out I'd rather not have visitors just then. Like Myleftboob, I was only in the hospital overnight for my surgery, so I asked that nobody visit me there either. I don't know what to suggest for dealing with someone who is calling daily asking to come over. Would it be possible for somebody to field your phone calls, or even to set up a message machine so you can know who is calling before you answer the phone?

I've just retired from my job. I bought a house I'll be moving into soon, but haven't told my former co-workers or any current friends & acquaintances my new address. Other than contractors and people who have come to do estimates or work on the house, my immediate family are the only ones who know where I'm moving to.

Youngwithbc

In my family, we have a rule about no visitors when someone is sick or has had surgery, etc. My mom always makes sure people stick to it!

I barely wanted to see anyone during chemo, except my best friends and my immediate family. When anyone else would write and ask if they could visit, I would just be honest - say I was feeling pretty awful and didn't want to be around anyone right now, but appreciated their concern and "hope to see you when this is all over"... and leave it at that. You are completely 100% allowed to be selfish and say whatever you want. You're doing chemo! That pretty much means it's all about you and not anyone else. Just be straightforward, and people will (or should) understand. You could also send out a mass email to everyone (or have a family member do it) and let everyone know how you're doing, and say you're not currently up to visitors. That way the message is out there, and people will leave you alone.

Good luck

Moderators

What great advice from everyone! We love the quote "You're doing chemo! That pretty much means it's all about you and not anyone else."

• Your Mods