What would you do??

vanlex

I have made no secret to any one that I am upset about my reconstruction and my much smaller boob size (H cup before, barely a C cup now).  Have talked about it at length with my best friend.  She just sent me a picture of her with a new bra where she has gone from an A cup to a D cup (I have no idea how, nor do I care).  She asks me if I notice anything in the picture?  No, dummy, I don't notice that you somehow magically went from and A to a D cup.  Is this just me, or was it WAY insensitive of her to send me this pic??

Dianarose

Vanlex- I am sure you can come up with something stupid that is in the picture other than her apparently new boobs. Maybe that she has gained weight or something. Yes, she is insensitive. I am going through the same problem. Just got my exchange on Wednesday and they look like pancakes, we are talking silver dollar pancakes. People just don't get that we just want to be as close to normal as we were before all this crap.

indenial

Is there a chance she thought you'd might be interested in whatever she did to increase her cup size? Like she thought she would be helpful & share her "secret"?

I can totally see how you would feel hurt & upset by this. I don't know your friend but I try to assume the best of intentions. I would respond back very seriously, something like, "I'm sure you mean well in sharing this but it is too painful a subject for me." If she is a good friend she will apologize & be more sensitive in the future.

vanlex

I also try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I know she did not intend to hurt my feelings.  She was excited about her recent purchase and just didn't think.  To play devil's advocate, I am sure my boob issues are not front and center for her like they are for me.  But since she is my best friend i would have thought that she would have realized that before she sent it.  But oh well, she is human.  

Another layer of this issue is that I really can't believe how upset it made me!  Ugh!  

Anyway, she has since apologized for her bone-headedness.  thankful for this board to be able to hash it out.

indenial

i'm glad she apologized & feel free to vent here as much as you need to! I've had several occasions of friends saying things without even thinking and even though I know they don't mean me any harm, it still reallly upsets me.