Deconstructed

htoplak

I wish I could give a brief summary of the past 5 years, but there are not enough hours in the day. So I will begin where I began 5 years ago:

Double mastectomy followed by expanders, chemo, exchange, infection, pocket separation, infection, alloderm...all clear!  Two years later, reoccurance to lymph nodes in neck and one behind chest bone.  Radiation, more chemo.  Tissue damage to radiated side.  Frozen shoulder syndrom in both shoulders.

Here we are in 2013 and my implants are encapsulated due to radiation.  I have decided I do not want to endure anymore pain or surgery.  The decision is to remove them completely.

I am ready to be pain free...that is the physical mind speaking.  The emotional mind is the one that is not ready to be bandaged, drained tubed and out of physical activity...AGAIN.

I have come so far the past five years, and this was a major mental setback.  It is the hurdle you once again need to get over, to face in the mirror and get back to life as "the new you." 

Thank you for letting me rant in a place where many understand.  I am sure this is just the beginning of many posts.

I wonder if the plastic surgeons will take a trade on old implants for a few free viles of botox.  It is the least they can do after all the aggrivation we endure!