April 2013 Chemo Group

LKSHER

Me too, Virginger! Reading everything and thinking of everyone and wishing everyone wellness and love.

Skigirl72

Hair- My DH buzzed my head on day 16 and I used the pet sticky roller every morning to get the little hairs that were falling out. It was itchy on my neck when they would come out. After a shower it was in my towel . I remember it being about a week for me to be mostly bald. There were some that hung on and I did shave a few times. I havent shaved my head since the last AC (march 10th) and I have some hair growing back but its not nearly enough for me to go outside without anything on my head.

Deb3kids

I started AC/T chemo on April 2. Every twitch and tingle I feel on my scalp makes me wonder...is this it? Is it going to start falling out now? But then I run my hands through my hair and none comes out and I feel a sense of relief. I know it's inevitable so I am enjoying these last few days with hair. I'd like to make it a few more days, though. My middle child turns 11 on Monday and we are going to the Outback to celebrate. Monday, April 15 is also chemo round 2 day for me. I did okay on round 1. Felt crummy for a week then normal for a week. I'm wondering if that's how it will go this time, too...

indenial

Anyone else get a spacy, disconnected, out-of-body type of feeling? 

Jen987

Indenial: Yes I agree. I told people I just felt "off". It was hard to describe it.

Gardengirl33

Hi, I'm coming on over from March surgeries. I had a left mx, my dcis ( originally dx) had become invasive. One node removed and it was negative.

My Oncologist has my treatment plan set as; 4 treatments 3 weeks apart. Cytoxan and Taxotare, followed by Neulasta. My first round will be Tuesday the 16th.

I am trying to mentally and physically prepare for this. Impossible? I was shopping today at a store going out of business. Wow the deals I could get on mascara, shampoo and conditioners. I couldn't face buying any of it! Thinking I won't be needing it, Sort of got me depressed. I don't want to cry over this! really, but like I have come to find out, I don't always get to choose when to cry.

Ah, well I feel better knowing that chemo is a precautionary step. My path report was clear, my margins clear. Just don't want that darn canc pest anywhere in me!

I had the ends of my hair colored vivid red and dark blue. My way of coping I guess. I thought it would symbol my care free attitude! It's only hair! I think I will get it cut next week. Not pixie short yet, though most likely inevitable?

Jen987

Welcome Gardengirl33. We will all get through this together.

dede707

My scalp is itchy. I believe, ladies, we will all be going through this very soon. Here is a great article that made me feel better.  "I Couldn't Stand the Thought of Losing My Hair." (www.ppc-dayton.com/icstlmh_art1.html) It's long but it is mostly comments from women who had to go through hair loss due to chemotherapy. 
Many rang true for me. This one especially: "'Hair loss is a loss of identity, self-esteem, and an emotional roller coaster, not just something that 'will grow back. Only someone who has had to face cancer and hair loss understands the impact emotionally of having to be reminded daily not only do you have cancer, you're branded and the whole world will know too." (Debbie)
This is my last "anxious" hurdle... when it is gone, I know I will feel okay, but now I am pissed, scared and sad about it. Now, I look normal, soon I will look like I have cancer. Looking at the big picture, it is a small price to pay for saving my life. I am asking my friends and family to  "do me a favor... please don't tell me it's only hair and it will grow back. That's for a bad haircut. And I know, people are trying, they just don't always know what to say. If you see me, be direct, be honest. Tell me I'm still beautiful. 

http://www.ppc-dayton.com/icstlmh_art1.html

Ladies, you are so beautiful. I am so grateful we are here together. I wonder how we can all meet one day? 

Have a great weekend. I am going to get into the garden. Sunny and windy on the north coast of California. 

Denise

dede707

Hi GardenGirl again. I was with you on the March surgeries. This is a great group of ladies. I hope you are doing okay. much love denise

kobrien

Is it crazy to think of this chemo as a way of reinventing myself? I'm feeling like I'm ready to get started and that I'm going to come out a better person when it's done. My chemos been delayed due to masectomy incision not healing fully-- I had surgery on 2/27.. I was terrified at the thought of chemo. Now I'm kinda feeling that this whole experience is going to make me a better person inside and out. Anyone else feeling like this to help you get through?

indenial

Kobrien I love your attitude... what a great way to go into this! 

I'm struggling so much with the mental aspect of this. My side effects are really mild still, but it's causing me so much anxiety. I'm just waiting & waiting for it to hit me hard. I'm terrified I'm going to have some strange, life-threatening reaction in the middle of the night or something. Last night I woke up in a panic, convinced my teeth were going to fall out! I'm pretty sure that wasn't a listed side effect lol, but jaw pain in the middle of the night combined wih lack of sleep & anxiety just made my mind spin out of control. 

I keep asking my husband what's wrong with me, and he says, "Well, you just had chemo 4 days ago!" I guess I just expected something different, more obvious side effects or something. I can't pinpoint what is bothering me. I did realize I was a bit nauseous & finally took some compazine and that helped... but I'm still "off"... and not in a tangible or treatable way. I have no appetite but have been doing OK forcing myself to eat 3 times a day & drink water. I really have no symptoms aside from very occasional stomach cramps, aches, headaches, but I feel like crap for some reason!

kobrien

I'm over the top anxious about what's to come. I lost my 9 year old son 13 yrs ago to a rare allergic reaction to an antibiotic.. And terrified of having these meds infused in my body..

I just got married in July and so angry my new husband needs to deal with this..

I've tried so hard to get out of doing chemo-- but my MO said my 3.8 cm tumor and pos sentinel node calls for it..

I should be staring within the next 2 weeks

dandihunt

I just posted but can not find it my name is dandi hunt i had my first chemo infusion Friday the 4/12/13 this morning I woke with a low grade fever 99.9 and chills is this common dr said it would be fine to take advil which breaks the fever any thoughts on this??

indenial

Dandihunt, I was told to call my doc with any fever over 100.4, and I know some are told not to take tylenol (or advil) because it can mask the fever and with low WBC's you need to be on the lookout for signs of infection. Did you talk to your doc today?

Kobrien, big hugs to you. This is not fair.

dandihunt

Ya called er this morning doc said to take advil that was common after first infusion as soon as I take advil my temp is nrmal no chills one of the side effects

just took temp 98.4 over 6 hrs since advil!

ldesim

Indenial, you described perfectly how I felt during the my first two chemo treatments.. I just felt off.. not myself, but nothing I could point a finger at. Upset stomach, which it seemed happened if I let if get empty... lethargy..  I tossed it up to the Neulasta shots as this feeling seemed to hit me after having that. 

Kobrien I am so sorry about your son.  Congrats on your new marriage.  Every phase of BC has brought untold terror to me.. but then it has always turned out to be not as bad as I thought it would be, and in fact, I feel silly sometimes for having been so afraid.

You'll get through this as you've gotten through everything so far.. and we're all here for you as best  we can be!

BeHereNow

Hair started coming out in big handfuls today, day 13. So, I went and got it cut short. I sobbed. I don't feel or look like me! Hoping I'll adjust soon, but so sad right now.



Love to all!

kobrien

So sorry Katie.. That's the one part I'm not looking forward to.. Big hugs!!

BeHereNow

Thank you! I'm noticing my ears are cold. Lol

Virginger

hugs Katie....i'm sure you MORE beautiful. It's WILL grow back...I've already gotten a sleep cap....think i'll do the scarf and baseball hats when I do lose my hair....have to see how it goes..it WILL grow back..I'm almost hopeing for a FULL grey/very white when it comes back...

dede707

Katie- I feel for you. I am so sorry... Be sad and let it flow then I hope tomorrow brings you solace and a smile. I believe I am right behind you...my scalp is so itchy and tingling...

Is that what you felt?

Indenial - i am sorry about your anxiety. Have you been given Ativan? This helps me. Thank you for sharing.

Kobrien- yes I believe we will all be reinvented. Cancer makes you question everything and soul search. I am sorry about your son. I cannot imagine. This is a great group of ladies for support.

Stay strong ladies. We got this- even when we feel like we don't.

Xo de

dbld

Been reading many posts from you warriors since early January and decided now is the time to write.  I had my first chemo Monday, April 8th, followed with a neulasta shot the next day.  I experienced moderate aches within a 24-hour period, particularly lower back, hips, and knees.  I was constipated too and used 1 tbsp regular olive oil plus two colace Wed night; I was relieved the very next day.  I also have had a severe headache for three days now.  I have felt like I'm floating, described by some here as feeling off.  The outer heels of my feet are too tender to put any pressure on, so I walk on the pads of my feet.  I cut my hair off two weeks ago.  I thought I had prepared the way, but this is quite a lengthy journey and yet I'm tired of being brave and bald.  Also experiencing heart palpitations, which were moderate now milder, especially at night.  And my nose began running today.  Probably not bad overall but not nearly myself either.  Just trying to maintain some balance since I feel so out of sorts.  Peace and strength to everyone affected.

BeHereNow

Welcome, dbld. I certainly relate to, "I'm tired of being brave and bald," and I'm just getting started. I'm sorry you have cancer, but glad we all have each other for support.

Jen987

Katie, my hair is shedding too. Seems to be right on schedule. I cut it short a couple weeks ago so it's not too traumatic. Looks like hats will be my new fashion accessory. Hugs.

Gardengirl33

You all are AMAZING ladies! My cancer journey has been about 4 months. Seems already to be forever. I too feel like, I am done! I want this over! But yet here we are, on our next path of our journeys.

Sounds inevitable about the hair loss, I must give in and embrace it? I've had red and blue dye on my ends. Very cute, my step daughter did it for me the day I found out I was going to have chemo. I've had a lot of compliments. Hope I've stirred up some work for her at the salon. She's just starting out there. Guess I will make my next appointment for later this week and go shorter.

Beherenow, cold ears! Oh that is no fun! I hate that now and I have hair. Well I do like hats! Guess its time we ROCK! 'Em if we got 'em!

My DH already has said he is shaving his head. So supportive, but I told him, he didn't need to. I know he will! He has been to every appointment with me. I know he's scared, me too.

I'm glad I have you my friends to turn to. Seems like all the "side effects" they say may happen, DO. well I best put on my big girl panties! Cowgirl up! You all are tough, and I know because of YOU amazing women, I too can do this.

jo92879

Oh Katie! I'm so sorry! We had chemo only a day apart, I'm starting to feel anxious. I just don't want to lose my hair, I'm not ready. I felt very off day 6 and 7 post chemo. I called my MO crying and he said it what called "chemo brain". I asked if I would be feeling like that every time I had chemo and he said yes, on and off. The good news is that after day 7 I was a completely new person! I felt amazing and had so much energy and I continue to feel really good. A little achy from time to time, I'm guessing from the Neulasta. I go back this Wed so I am trying to make the most of my good days. I am a little nervous about round two but then I remembered I will only have six rounds left, that's 13 weeks and counting . Hugs and prayers to you all. I know we will get though this, we just have to...

BeHereNow

Good morning! Welcome to anyone who has just joined us .



Got my haircut last night, as it's falling out fast, and this morning I realize I an ready to go even shorter. I'll do that on Tuesday, because I'll be spending the day with a good friend.



My niece gave me a cap from the "LIDS" store at the mall. It's a baseball cap with a closed back and lower coverage on the sides. She got to select something to be embroidered on the back and front. So I have a black cap with the BC ribbon on the front and "Fight Like a Girl" on the back!



If you have this store in your area, it's worth checking out these caps



Still sad, but feeling a little better today.



XO

Deb3kids

Hi all! Sounds like everyone is hanging in there.

Jo98879- I noticed we started the same chemo treatment on the same day. I am feeling so "normal" and healthy right now and I am sad about going for round 2 tomorrow. My hair is still hanging on. How is yours doing? Mine is cut short in anticipation. I have never had such short hair in my life...and I actually like it! So quick to get ready and out the door:)

jo92879

Deb3kids: So far my hair is still hanging on too. I've always had really thick hair. I keep thinking maybe all of the little follicles are holding on for dear life! I haven't had any thinning. A twinge here and there but no tenderness or itching, yet. Good luck tomorrow! I hope it goes well for you.

dede707

Happy Sunday ladies, 

My scalp has been so itchy. I just tugged on my hair and pieces are coming out. This is much harder than I thought. I have never been into being a beauty queen, but not completely a natureal either. I'm not sure if we shave tonight (Sunday) while my kids are home and they can help (ages 11 and 5) or wait until it is really coming out. But then it is the middle of the school week and all the busy stuff. I don't think I can deal with clumps coming out in front of my kiddos. 

What do you think ladies? To shave tonight or not to shave tonight? Either way it's happening. 

I also need more advice. I go for my first TE fill tomorrow. Should I ask for valium just in case I need it for muscle soreness. I don't want to rely on pain pills. 

Emotionally, i had a rough night last night- googleing all sorts of hair loss stuff. I need to relax and be in the moment. I don't like when people tell me "it will grow back", of course it will; but this is not a bad haircut, this is when I will be exposed to having cancer. I don't want that attention. 

People were right about this BC rollercoaster- you go up and you go down...

Hugs and Love, 

Denise