Need relationship advice

shawntez

I was just diagnosed this past Monday.

Over the last year an ugly argument keeps resurfacing its head.

My boyfriend of almost 2 years took me to Vegas on a wonderful vacation. We were drinking and he blurts out that his ex-wife told him she wants another baby and wants her children to have the same father. He laughed and tells me how crazy she is. I was livid and exploded. I was angry that she suggested this, angry at him for telling me this when my guard was down, and even angrier that we were enjoying ourselves and he brings her up.

Before we commited to this monogomous relationship, he was giving her rides places, she was sleeping over with their son and they were doing family things almost like a normal family. She left him. 

She knew he was seeing someone and still asked the outrageous thing!

We finally met, and I acted cordial. She doesn't know he told me and I am respecting some sense of privacy of their discussion although it is burning me up inside. He says that now that she has met me she won't ask this again. She has since had a baby for her boyfriend that she has been seeing all this time.

Since my recent diagnosis, I asked him if he told her and he said he told her I was sick. I asked him not to tell her because it is really none of her business. I am still digesting this myself. After a few days I told him it was okay if he told the "b@*$" He started in on why do you have to feel that way, she likes you because of how you are with our son. Because their son likes me and talks about me all of the time she figures I must be a really good person. I hate her!! I don't trust her, she has not self-respect, none for me and my relationship to have asked him that question. She was willing to sleep with him to have another kid. He doesn't understand my outrage and rage towards her still over a year later. She has invited us to their son's birthday and other events. He told her I do not want to go to her house but will not tell her why. He is non-confrontational and it frustrates me to no end.

On top of my diagnosis, this is the last thing I need. I am still mad at him and he says lets start over. There is an elephant in the room. I feel unresolved about this because he won't tell her I know and that I feel disrespected by her.

It wasn't about me, but when he told me I realized that she is pathetic and a low-life skank whore. She left him and then wants to have another kid for her own selfish needs regardless of the fact that he had finally started to move on. 

He doesn't understand me, he says he gets it. He hates that I keep rehashing it, but he twisted the knife when he started telling me that she respects me because of their son always talking about me. He feels that my aggressive tone in the use of the "b" word is unwarranted against someone who respects me (are you kidding me!?). She respects me NOW, maybe, but not before meeting me. Again, I say, "are you kidding me!?"

What do I do? I'm mad as hell and cannot get past how I feel towards her. I want nothing to do with her. She is not a part of my life, but because their son is 6 six years old, she is in the picture and will be for some time to come. I am not the type to forgive and forget so easilly. Had he never told me this it would not be an issue. He says I am his best friend and now he fears being safe in telling me things.