Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
Comments
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Sandy, You really do need to write a book. Of course, nobody (except us) would believe it. That's all so sadly funny. And so reminiscent of Poodles mother. It must have been a hellish 2 years. My paternal grandmother lived with my parents for 2 or 3 years. Gram was all sweetness and light to my dad and treated my mother like shit. DH would get really mad at how badly she treated Mother. I lucked out with my MIL. She was wonderful, never critical. of course, she didn't live with us either. By the time we figured out she needed to be cared for, it was beyond what any of us could do (we were all still working). I can't imagine living with the conditions your FIL imposed and being criticized for every decision you made. I assume they came from "the old country" and had had a very hard life there. All very sad. Makes you hope and pray you never turn out that way, doesn't it?
HUGS!
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Well, if you call Riverdale, in the north Bronx, “the old country" (comparatively bucolic as anywhere in the Bronx could be), I guess so...but not the “hard life" part. They lived in a huge house, the first one on their cul-de-sac; and Bob's grandpa (NY-born Swiss, egged on by his Scots wife) started a neighborhood ruckus by trying to erect a tollgate to charge any visitors not from the block for access to the end of the street (which, on the other side of a thicket of maple and pine trees, revealed a gorgeous view across the Hudson to the Palisades). The neighbors had to threaten an injunction before he backed off.
Neither of my in-laws had anything approaching a “hard life." Bob's mom was born in Hungary and came here as a baby--her family lived in a brownstone they owned in Park Slope, Brooklyn (admittedly, before it became yuppie-upscale). In fact, that’s where Bob and his parents lived until he was a year old and they bought the house in Queens....brand-new....for cash. She went to work as a bookkeeper in Manhattan straight out of high school, and traveled often by train to see friends before his dad swept her off her feet after a poetry reading at the 92nd St. Y. She had a healthy appetite (she even had her own little baby beer-stein), which horrified Dad. Until her hearing went and her cerebellar stroke disabled her, she would sneak out on foot to Burger King to eat beef. And for her 95th birthday dinner, at a Belgian place called Waterzooi in Garden City, she enjoyed seafood in cream sauce, a glass of cherry lambic and of course a Belgian waffle for dessert. When the waiter asked her, “Ma'am, would you like that with whipped cream or ice cream?" she replied, “Yes, please." Dad nearly had a fit. She sternly said “Pete, when you turn 95 you can tell me what to eat!" (He never got the chance....but shortly thereafter he began to eat desserts).
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EJMann, glad you like your docs. That helps so much. Wishing you luck on your genetic testing. It's rather scary. Doesn't it rather tick you off that what you wanted years ago is now mandatory - no birth control pills and a hysterectomy? At least you are doing a lot to make sure the BC stays gone and that's a good feeling. Good luck with everything!
HUGS!
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Sandy, my DIL grew up in Queens. Well, certainly can't explain your FIL's interesting views on everything by his upbringing, can you? Your MIL sounds like a feisty woman. That is rather ironic that FIL started eating desserts after that episode. I was shaking my head when you were telling about his limited diet. Ugh. I love the tollgate ruckus. Obviously trying to keep out the riff-raff. Things were different way back when, weren't they? (though keeping out the riff-raff is still a desirable goal in many places). The view must have been spectacular. I assume that would have been around the 1910s or 20s?
HUGS!
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poodles I'm sitting here at Disneyland howling with laughter at your husbands surprise doll. Sorry, I'm twisted that way
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ItalyChick, I think we are all pretty twisted here
Poodles, I'm with Sandy - I want pictures!!!!
HUGS!
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Those of you who did chemo - did you get a blood test in between infusions, or only at the start of the next one? The nurse told me I won't have another blood test until 2 days before my next infusion. I guess they are just going to go by symptoms to let them know if I'm in trouble.
Good to hear from you, ejmann! I'm glad your plan is falling into place.
Poodles, I'm so sorry you have all this extra burden with getting your mother squared away. The doll story is hilarious!! You have quite the wicked sense of humor to hang them places like that! Do you think you'll convince your mother to give up the storage locker?
Theresa and Poodles, thank you for the tight skin tip for port stick. I did not watch so I don't know what the nurse did.
Molly, I'd love to get together with you and Sloan! I feel fine but I'd like to avoid public places while my blood counts are down. Maybe we could fit in something just before I have the second or third infusion.
I remember being annoyed the first day of rads, because they put extra red marker on me, which not only rubbed off on my bra but which my blouse did not cover when I went to work!
Sandy, you were certainly close to sainthood to put up with your FIL for two years. Some elderly parents will do anything to not be a burden, and some are just quite happy being the burden but never can see themselves as one.
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Nope, my mother does not have dementia. She knows exactly what she is doing. She also knows exactly what's in that house, so there is no sneaking stuff out to the trash can, either. Mother has never been a good housekeeper, always cluttered, but her second husband really reined her in. He's been gone 14 years and I don't think she has cleaned anything much in all that time. I wish she would allow me and my middle sister to get in there and deal with the stuff, but she is so afraid that we'll throw away her treasures (we totally would!) There is NOTHING of value in that house. Nothing. Just all trash, books (not valuable ones), sewing & craft materials, photos in big boxes, and home made video tapes. My niece is living there right now and she has one couch, a bed, and a small dresser, and her cat. Otherwise, it's all Mom's stuff.
She is living in a senior independent living apartment community 45 miles away from her old home. She has refused to get involved in the life of the community, except for going to chapel on Sun afternoon. I took her there at Mother's Day and she's been going there ever since, really likes it. But otherwise, her "entertainment" is driving that 90-mile round trip to piddle around her house for about 8 hours. She has food in the apt, but she often doesn't eat because she's lonely. (well, she wouldn't be lonely if she'd go eat lunch in the cafeteria there or go to a class or in any other way mix with the residents there!) She says she knows she's depressed but she will not tell the doctor and will not let me make an appt either. I tried that--she "forgot" the appt. But not really. She is very passive-aggressive and she controls everything by procrastination. Drives me crazy.
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Poodles, I don't know what to tell you. You've certainly done everything you can possibly do except hit your mother over the head and clear all that stuff out while she is unconscious. I can imagine how frustrated you are. Your mother is still driving? That's too bad because then you could clear out the house and she wouldn't know
All I can do is offer you hugs and a bottle of wine (or 10).HUGS!
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Sandy, great news! What a relief!!
Moondust, glad first infusion went well ( except for pain). Hope it continues without se.
Ejmann, good luck with testing.
Peggy, my indoor cats sometimes think they want to go outside. They've never got past the porch steps. As soon as they hear a noise they hunker down & run in house.
Poodles, I must be warped too, because I found the doll in the fridge humorous .
I forgot to ask about tattoos when they were doing the sims Wednesday. But I think during my initial consult with the RO, he said I would get then later. So maybe on Monday at first treatment. I'm glad that my markings are hidden by my shirt.
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Trish, keep in mind that the marks can stain clothing. Tats do not
HUGS!
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Hi Peggy. I sell Real Estate. Having the appraisal sent back on an FHA is not uncommon since we have gone to the new TRID program. It is so frustrating. Sounds like your agent is working hard to get the job done. I feel like we now walk on egg shells until we get the clear to close and the paper work is sent to the title company.
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Woo-hoo, Sandy! So very glad you rec'd good news today! Now, on to continue planning and getting ready for your trip.
Alice- so sorry about the pain when accessing your port. I did find that some of the nurses were able to get in with no pain and some did it causing a bit of pain. Sort of the same thing with the Nuelasta shots the day after each infusion. Hoping the new plan will help!
Peggy- hoping all is settled on the "old" house son so you can move and move on. Hugs!
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Brutersmom, thank you for that. My realtor is very frustrated. Especially when the lender was told that the appraisal (by the appraiser) would be in his hands Friday midnight which didn't happen. I just need to know if there are things that need to be done to house before it can all go through. Since I leave for Spokane a week from tomorrow I'm anxious to get my ducks in a row. Still hoping for a July 1st closing.
HUGS!
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Moondust, I got a blood test before each chemo, and for the first two rounds I also had one a week later. After the first two, when they realized that all was good with counts, I only got it before the next two.
Hugs!
Octogirl
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I was diagnosed with a tiny tumor 2 months ago. Surgery was just last week and all appeared to go well. No pain. Today I got the path report and found out I still have cancer cells in my right breast. I won't know for another week or so what the oncologist is going to recommend for treatment. I'm devastated, thinking it was so small but the margins came back with more nasty cancer cells and now looking at who knows what? I'd sure like to have some thoughts of anyone else who is going through this.
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Tiktak, Welcome. I'm so sorry that you had to find us but you will be glad you did. We are warm, caring, informative and very supportive. It is not uncommon for the margins to not be clean. Usually the surgeon will do another surgery, remove more bad stuff and try to get clean margins. Remember they are sort of going blind. I asked my BS if she could "see" my cancer when she was taking it out. She said no. That's why the path report.
It IS discouraging to have to face another surgery. Did you have sentinel lymph nodes removed? Please help us help you by filling out your profile and then go to SETTINGS and make them PUBLIC. We don't remember what your Dx was or what treatments you've had. You can also put a signature line in and tell us where you live. We are all over and often get together (it's wonderful!).
I'm sure ladies who have been in your shoes will respond shortly. Until then know we are here for you and will try to answer all your questions and comfort you.
HUGS!!
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tiktak, my lumpectomy pathology came back with cancer in the margins. I was so upset to have to go back into surgery to get more tissue, but the second time she got it all.
One thing to keep in mind is that early cancers look just like normal tissue to the naked eye. Cancers are usually irregular shaped, so it's pretty easy to miss a small corner. IMO, it's pretty amazing that more women DON'T have to go back for re-excision.
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Ha! Found Creepy Baby doll behind the cereal this morning.
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Poodles, where ARE the photos of creepy dolls????????????
HUGS!
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I don't know how to post photos! These dolls are so creepy. DH doesn't even want to touch them.
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Poodles, here's how to do photos:
- Go to the REPLY box
- See the little icon above where you write that looks like 2 mountains (6th from left)?
- Click on it. (It does say "Insert Image" when you hover your mouse over it)
- Up pops a box that lets you go search for where that photo is located that you want to post
- Find the photo and double click on it.
- Voila! Photo will magically appear right below where you were typing
Give it a whirl. We don't care that hubby is freaked out. We're weird
HUGS!
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Here's testing this out. A pic of my 8yo pup, Tiki-bird.
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Oh, yay! It worked. When I get home tonight i'll line up all the creepy ass baby dolls and take a picture of them.
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Poodles, See? I knew you could do it! Tiki-bird is a cutie pie!
HUGS!
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Oh, cute little tikibird! I groomed dogs for a year in my 20's. We would call him a "bitchin' frizzie". Okay, enough with the cute - where's the bizarre?
I'm doing okay this morning, just wish my appetite would increase a bit. HH and Sue, I got a nice crockpot of beans cooked yesterday that should last us all week! I'll make a batch of chicken for tacos, etc, today. This is my first day without steroids but I still feel pretty energetic.
tiktak, welcome. I know well your feeling of disappointment and anxiety. It WILL get better as you go thru the treatment steps. I was so upset at first because the radiologist missed my clearly visible tumor in 2014, but now I'm on my way back to health.
Octo, thanks for the info! I am curious to see what my blood counts will be. I know that too much sun or too much strenuous exercise will drop them more, so I'm trying hard to avoid that stuff and get plenty of sleep. The Tylenol PM has helped the past 2 nights.
Peggy, let's get sorting today! My long-time neighbor just died a few weeks ago, and his wife is in the midst of sorting and packing too. She'll be moving to Sacramento before the end of the year but has soooo much stuff to go through.
Have the best possible day, everyone!
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Speaking of creepy baby dolls, a few months ago I found one in my breakfast!
OK, so it was the week before Mardi Gras and it was in a piece of King Cake. I had always thought that the “baby Jesus” one finds in their piece (which obligates the lucky eater to bring the next King Cake to the office coffee break or party) would be a little flesh-colored figurine in the usual full-length baby position, or even like one of those “chocolate babies” but flesh-colored plastic. Nope. This one was shiny Mardi Gras-bead-green, and sitting! Are all King Cake babies like that?
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Sandy, you got a fancy king cake baby! They've only started using the purple, green, and gold metallic ones in the past few years. Mine have been the usual flesh color from the bakery where I've ordered recently. They are always in that sitting posture. Actually, the baby doesn't symbolize Jesus, it's for luck and prosperity. (LG, you're the other Louisiana girl, anything I'm missing?) BTW, glad to read that your dermatologist gave you a clean bill of health!
Poodles, thank you for reconfirming the reasons that I am not traveling to Louisiana to help my mother prepare for her move. After two years and four Realtors, she has finally sold her house. Her place at the retirement community has been ready for over a year, counter tops and flooring changed to her specification. (I told her not to commit there until she sold her house, but she did anyway and has been paying for both.) When she called to give me the news that the Realtor had an offer, she said "Well, now I need to finally take care of getting rid of those formal dresses from the 80s and 90s in the office closet!" We discussed her donating the dresses to the LSU Theatre Department a year ago. I was getting chemo and radiation during last Thanksgiving and Christmas when we usually go down to visit, so I haven't seen her house in over a year and thought she'd been taking care of these things all along. (In other words, I thought she was being Peggy and chipping away at all of the stuff, but has spent far more time talking about what needs to be done than doing it.)
Moondust, glad your first treatment went well. I'll join the chorus of "stay ahead of the nausea!"
Ticktak, I had a similar lumpectomy experience when the margins weren't clear and there was a second surgery scheduled (re-excision) that was successful. Have you heard from your oncologist or surgeon? Sending you good thoughts and strength!
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Moondust, glad you're still feeling good. Fingers crossed that it stays that way!! In a way, I was better off than your neighbor. Chuck had been out of the house for over a year by the time he died. So those feelings of being alone at home had been coped with. But it is still a whole lot of work getting rid of all the clothes etc. And going through everything else. I would recommend that she establish a date for the movers to come. That makes the whole move real and gives you a deadline. (As you can tell there's still tons to do at the last minute).
Peachy, You must be ready to give your mother a talking to. And discouraged. It's too bad she didn't move into the retirement home sooner. Then the new owners could deal with all her stuff or you could and she wouldn't be there saying keep this and that. You could just eliminate it however best you need to. I'm afraid that you'll have to go visit her and have to deal with it
HUGS!
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Hello all!
I am one week out from my lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy (the surgeon removed 3). I am healing well, i think
No pain in the lumpectomy incision area. The lymph node incision area is sore and burns sometimes, strange sensations i've never experienced, but its manageable. I just noticed this morning before my shower that the whole area where my breast is numb, basically the whole left side, is very slightly pinker than the rest of my breast. Is this normal? I have a follow up with the surgeon on Tuesday and will definitely ask her then. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?
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