Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

HappyHammer

MLP-they look great- is that jelly on top Would you change anything about the recipe?

MLP3

yes! My daughter thought about putting a dollop of strawberry jam on top. Totally genius! We also drizzled a bit of maple syrup on top during the last 5 mins of cooking. We added some vegan choc chips to hand the batch. Soooo good and filling because they are loaded with protein from the peanut butter and the almond flour. One cookie is more than satisfying

mustlovepoodles

Happy Hammer, I feel the same as you do. I don't believe that God visits these terrible things on us. They don't happen for a reason. Hell's bells! Cancer can happen to anyone. Sure, some of us have bad genes or bad habits, but for most it's just bad luck. It scalds my butt when I hear people ask someone with lung cancer, "Were you a smoker?" Like they deserved it! Or when I hear others remark, "Well, she was very overweight. Maybe if she had watched her diet and done some exercise she wouldn't have got breast cancer." Really? How about all those Size 4s out there in their 30s who eat clean, work out 4 days a week, do yoga every morning, and abstain from sugar, artificial sweeteners, and coffee? What are they doing wrong that made them get breast cancer?

As you can see, I feel very passionately about this, and there's a right way and a wrong way for someone to talk about this kind of thing. I went through a severe mental breakdown in 2008. I mean hospitalized and everything. It was terrible. My DH really tried his best, but he didn't know what he was dealing with. So, he did what his family does--keep a happy face and pretend it isn't happening. So, as I sat weeping and immobilized, he would try to pep me up by saying "It could be worse!" Over and f-ing over. And I always said to him " and it could be better." After saying that about 25 times, he got the message. He has learned that lesson and has NOT ONCE said that phrase since this BC diagnosis. He's probably afraid that I'd either beat the crap out of him or run away to Tennessee.

MLP3

Poodles- I'm vegan, fit, workout, haven't eaten a mammal in 30 years, don't smoke... I got BC. My house and products are as close to organic as I can get. I had someone tell me that maybe I should eat some bacon... Cuz look where being healthy got me. How's THAT one...?😡

LovesToFly

too much to reply to but I've been reading everything! The cookies look great.

My husband stayed home from work today by the afternoon the fever was gone. Hopefully that's it! I've had a cold for a few days so maybe it's the way he was getting a cold, I know sometimes I get fevers when I start getting a cold, sometimes I don't. We changed all the linens and will sleep head to feet again tonight just in case. I felt gross today, I don't think it's chemo I think it's still the cold I've got, but I'm feeling much better this evening so hopefully it's starting to resolve. I don't mind a bit of a runny nose but I hate when I have that achy stuffy head feeling!

I'm starting to get really freaked out about my next chemo, my chemo is changing from FEC to docetaxol. I've tolerated FEC so well, it's so scary to think of changing. Especially because I am still working two out of every three weeks and has worked so well! I know I shouldn't worry about side effects unless they come, lots of people have problems but lots of people also tolerate it well, but it's hard not to be scared. I keep telling myself that even if I have three really crappy cycles, I could've had six crappy cycles, so I'm still lucky I tolerated FEC so well!

Have an ultrasound tomorrow, when I first had my scans they saw something in my liver. MO said she was quite certain it was benign, but sent me for a CAT scan anyway. The CAT scan showed absolutely nothing, so she wanted me to redo the ultrasound. Fingers crossed that it really truly is nothing.

Those of you that mostly went bald, did you have a little baby hairs on your head? I do, they are actually really annoying. I'm wondering if I should get them shaved off. I think if I'm going to be walking around bald, it would look better to be smooth. thoughts?

614

Dear HH and Poodles: I totally agree with both of you and I am passionate about it too. I'm glad that both of you stated your feelings. I couldn't have said it any better.

Dear MLP: You are absolutely correct. What an inane comment from that person.

However, I have to repeat a comment that my son stated. "I have to tell you, Mom...Your vitamins don't work...You got cancer anyway." Lol

LovesToFly

mlp I hear ya. I'm almost scared to make nutritional/exercise/health suggestions to anyone (and I used to give advice like this all the time, of course gently and if it was wanted, because I lost a lot of weight In 2010 and completely changed my life and health), because I feel like they're just gonna look at me and say "look where it got you".

614

Dear LTF: I wish that I could make you laugh to take your mind off of your fears regarding your upcoming chemo. Good luck for your scan tomorrow. I wish you the best. I guess that I should dance in your pocket. That would make you laugh for sure. Hugs

mustlovepoodles

LTF, I never lost all my hair. I had these thin, scraggly fuzzies all over. I am VERY self-conscious of my awful hair--it's about an inch long now and looks like a baby duck. Not pretty, but I'm not going to shave it off at this point. I have a wig that I wear to church or to work, but otherwise I wear beanies or hats at ALL times. I don't even walk go in my own bedroom without a head covering, even at night.

LovesToFly

Thanks 614! I will definitely think of you dancing in my pocket tomorrow.

Poodles I just read a bit more carefully, and read about your breakdown years ago. I'm really sorry you went through that. mental Health issues are just so devastating. I hope that is in your past never to return

mustlovepoodles

LTF, I always say "better living through chemistry." Once we found the right drug cocktail, I have been stable for about 6 years now. Even through all this BC business, I haven't decompensated. I have a little depression going on, but not enough to change my meds over. I learned good coping skills in the hospital and they have stood me in good stead over the years.

Praline

PontiacPeggy - I like those tops. I bookmarked the site. Since I am supposed to avoid the sun and I live down south these may become handy.

ChiSandy - I am going to check out those Leading Lady bras.

HappyHammer

MLP- making the cookies after DH leaves for work tomorrow....cannot think of the last time I have made any dessert that wasn't fruit. DH goes and gets ice cream from a local shop here from time to time but "aint' nothin' like that been comin' out of my kitchen!" We will see if I can make them look like yours.

HappyHammer

MLP- eat some bacon? Good lawd! Seriously, with or without cancer...who would ever say someone needed more bacon haha!

Italychick

People sometimes say the dumbest things. Are they really that clueless?

HappyHammer

LTF- in your pocket tomorrow.

Hair- yes, I did have a few wispies that were around...I cut them as needed. Totally understand not wanting them there. I am 5 months out from chemo- no hats, scarves etc for about a month as hair is about 1/2 inch or so long, scalp is covered and I am sick of hats...hated my cute but scratchy wig- and, I do not care when people look at me too long because I don't know their story and I may be helping them in some way. My story and I'm sticking to it!

HappyHammer

Italy- YES- the are!

HappyHammer

Poodles- you DO get it. SO sorry you had to have such a difficult time- breakdown and all- but am so glad you have found what works for you and that your DH gets it too! The struggle is real....and, I do not say that lightly! Life is so hard. I am just so thankful for you all....those of us who can totally understand one another...don't have to agree but can still be empathetic because we "get it". Thank you for sharing some of your story!

ChiSandy

Poodles, so sorry you had to deal with a breakdown. People whose lives haven’t been touched by mental illness just don’t get it--my dad was bipolar and then profoundly unipolar depressive the last 20 yrs. of his life, and it was astounding how ignorant most people were (including his sisters and my f-i-l, who said he should “just snap out of it.” “get a hobby,” or learn yoga). He couldn’t do lithium because of his heart, MAO inhibitors and tricyclics didn’t make a dent, and he agreed to one of the then-new class of SSRIs that eventually caused a fatal arrhythmia at 72 because he felt it was "better to die on the way up out of the darkness” than to “live in the dungeon” for another decade or more. Then it was my turn--6 weeks after giving birth a heavy “curtain” suddenly descended and I developed profound postpartum depression--took me nearly a year & a half to find the right meds and therapist to bring me back to full function. (I even developed anorexia--which, obviously, is still in remission). They didn’t believe in hospitalizing new moms back then, but rather in getting them as much in-home support as possible to allow at least some bonding to happen. I still take an antidepressant (a SDRI, Wellbutrin) to keep it at bay. To borrow a phrase from the despicable Bernie Madoff, depression is my family’s “poisoned heirloom:” our son began to exhibit it at only 10 and attempted suicide at 15. He, too, is on maintenance meds--and I constantly fear that he will never be able to find happiness.

For rads, I was able to have the Sharpie-and-Tegraderm thing rather than tattoos. That Tegraderm stayed on until my RO removed it, and my bras stayed unstained. Before bc, my R breast was the smaller one, and I was bummed out that it would get smaller yet. How ironic that it became the bigger one!

Suzanne, a sigh of relief that you may not have LE after all. But do keep up that MLD massage on your own--even w/o LE, it’s relaxing and can help with water retention and sore muscles.

When life hands you lemons.......throw ‘em back and go for the chocolate instead.

Just learned that the wife of an online guitar buddy, after 8 biopsies and lumpectomies for bilateral DCIS, is going to need a BMX--her DCIS is high-grade and widely scattered. Thing is, she’s a triathlete and a vegan. So much for “we brought it on ourselves."

I got to see the Roches twice--once in my early 30s back in 1983 after “Keep on Doing” came out, and again in 1999 with Gordy (who discovered them when they appeared as ‘toons--the “Roaches”--in “Animaniacs”). Both times in small nightclubs, from the first few rows. It’s great to be able to share so many musical tastes with my son.....but not all (I still don’t “get" Kanye, Chance the Rapper, or The Weeknd--I can’t tell good from bad hip-hop; and he can’t stand bluegrass or opera).

We didn’t get that snowstorm after all, and neither did Oak Lawn. So Bob was able to come home. bearing a huge container of seafood linguine! (IN and MI weren’t as lucky).

Moondust

LTF, I'm in your pocket tomorrow. And thinking healthy thoughts!

I made some muffins with roasted beet puree. They look like red velvet cake.

The radiation techs have put stickers over all the black marks. It was just the red lines yesterday that were exposed. Most of the color washed out of the bra, so everything is fine! Well, except that the other wing of my office building was quarantined due to a beg bug infestation. There's not even any beds there, just cubicles!

PontiacPeggy

Poodles, how wonderful that you were able to get the help and find the meds to help keep you on an even keel. That's huge. DH had a mental breakdown at 18/19 (I didn't know him then) and was hospitalized. I *think* he even had shock treatments (back in the early 60s). He rarely talked about it. But he did suffer from depression off and on all his life. And he didn't tolerate any of the drugs they tried on him. It didn't help that he and his brothers all seem to be "glass half empty" people. And thank you for sharing - that had to be hard. We DO get it!

ChiSandy, thank you for sharing about your post partum depression. Glad you also are doing so well after all these years, too.

Like all of you, I resent people who believe that you brought on your BC by something you did or didn't do. I'm not vegan, don't exercise a ton, have a really positive attitude most of the time. There seems to be very little we can do to prevent BC. I'm not going to tell you my way of life is right for YOU though I'll share if you ask. We each have to decide what's right and best for ourselves. There's no one way that is "right." They all are.

We got a ton of extremely heavy, slushy (think Slurpee) snow yesterday. And it's still falling today. Ought to be fun cleaning off my car today. Thank heavens I have a guy who plows and shovels for me (and mows the lawn but probably not today ). I'm going stir crazy!!

Stay safe everyone. Good test results and feel good!

HUGS!

PontiacPeggy

Moondust, glad the red dye (mostly) washed out of your bra. Guess I'm glad that I got tattoos. I didn't bother with a bra during rads. It was cool enough that I could just wear a sweatshirt. How gross that your office has bedbugs. Were you freaked out?? Hope they can get rid of them.

HUGS!

MLP3

LTF- in your pocket today❤️ If it's any consolation, I had multiple cysts show up on my liver after an abdominal MRI right before my lx. They did a follow up ct scan(might have been the other way around) and confirmed benign. I asked my mo if these could go the malignant route one day and she said no.

HH- I'm not a dessert person either, but these looked too good to pass up. Make sure the dough is on the wetter side do they don't bake up too dry.

I'm scheduled for a buzz cut/short pixie today and final wig fitting. I think the timing is good because my scalp is sore in spots, hurts to the touch and has a warm sensation in these spots. I've read that this is the start of the follicles saying "Bye bye hair". True...?

Moondust- love the puréed beets for the coloring and nutritional value in those cupcakes!

Chisandy- sorry to hear about your guitarist wife... 8 lx's! Poor thing.

MLP3

Found this today. The article is great and entertaining, but the video just below it is such a beautiful clip of 9 women and their hair loss journeys. If you have 4 mins, it's really great.

http://www.vogue.com/13263000/hair-loss-cancer-stories-chemotherapy-julia-felsenthal/

brithael

LovestoFly - I have a very fine peach fuzz all over my head - never got down to just skin. Now that I'm through with chemo, maybe I can start seeing some actual growth!

Sandy - we got hammered here in the south suburbs - glad the snow let you guys alone. My husband ran the snow blower down the drive and walk about mid-afternoon just to keep the amount down, and then our fabulous next door neighbor ran it again in the early evening, so we can get out today.

Headed for LE massage and the first RO consult today.

queenmomcat

Not looking forward to dealing with the snow in my driveway.....when the colleges close down, in addition to the school systems, it's bad. (Put in mind now of the local NPR station's newscaster who summed up as "Your kid's school is closed." rather than tie up the air with reading the list.)

PontiacPeggy

QueenMomCat, last night one of the Detroit TV channels said there were 700+ school closings (for the Detroit Metro area). They didn't read them either. Actually not too bad now on my street (of course, my guy plowed my driveway so I could get out) and main roads seem to be fine. Now it can go away!

HUGS!

queenmomcat

I can well imagine what SE Michigan's like just now! At least the television stations can run a scroll along the bottom of the screen, and carry on with the broadcasts. But with 700+ schools closed, I don't blame the station for providing a succinct verbal summary.

Italychick

not what you ladies want to hear, but in San Diego currently 63 on its way to 76. I will take it!

Grandkids are in the Midwest enjoying the snow before they head back home

Praline

I do not envy you having to deal with all that snow. I grew up in Canada then lived in Massachusetts until about 1980. I am much too old to shovel snow! But we had some pretty bad weather here Tuesday...tornadoes . Some people got killed. So sad...