Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

PontiacPeggy

NoraNurse, Welcome! We're glad you found us. You know by now that we are kind, warm and comforting as well as informed. Sounds like you are doing well. That's nice to hear. It is very hard to wait for the path report. Was an Oncotype Test done? If so, it will take another week or two longer. I just had the valium when I went in. I was positively dreading the wire locators since I had had a really rotten experience about 12 years ago. But they loaded me up with all the lidocaine I wanted or needed and were very solicitous - totally different from the first time. It is hard to speak up but once you get mad enough over something, that barrier has been broken and it gets easier. Make sure you have your list of questions written down so you won't forget them.

Where are you located? Perhaps there are BCO ladies nearby. There are several of us who regularly get together here in Southeast Michigan and even some who are just visiting the area. It's truly wonderful.

Keep us posted on your path report and treatment plan.

HUGS!

Jclc83

Welcome NoraNurse i hope you heal quickly.

I drive myself back and forth to chemo. I don't have much choice. I don't get any drugs besides steroids, anti nausea and the chemo drugs. The worse part is parking and dragging myself through the halls. Pretty funny sight!

Before chemo I bought a bunch of hats and beanies and all sorts of scarves I even downloaded all these scarf tying videos The only time I cover my head is when it's around 20 degrees. Other than that I'm proud to go bald. It's my badge of honor.

PontiacPeggy

JcLc, do they have valet parking where you get your chemo? If not, they should and you should consider using it. Come to think of it, my center doesn't have valet parking either where my MO is. That is not good. You do have the right attitude for your bald head - shows that the chemo is doing its thing and killing cancer!

HUGS!!

Melclarity

Gosh! Certainly are lots of different combinations for Chemo it seems. Loves to Fly - mine seems similar to yours. I'd do the lift first treatment, then assess it from there, you'll have more of an idea how you will be. I would have given anything to have had my Mum through this journey the past 4yrs, but my Dad strangely stepped up in a different way which has been humbling. Strangely though...my meeting in the Oncology Suite and with my Liasion Nurse was on my Mums Birthday!!! If that's not a sign of her with me I don't know what is LOL, felt so comforted that she was letting me know stand strong you'll get through.

Noranurse - Welcome! Sending positive thoughts too for path results! Aaaah, I think we all learn about ourselves through this ordeal, absolutely! I must admit through this journey, I have learnt to become more outspoken in a good way LOL.

PontiacPeggy

MelClarity, my lumpectomy was on what would have been my parents' 70th wedding anniversary. I thought it would wind up being on my 69th birthday but got to celebrate it without being sore. My mother and dad both would have been very supportive.

HUGS!

Melclarity

Pontiacpeggy - That is beautiful!!! Always small blessings aren't there?? Ohhh I admit I certainly had days where I would have given anything to have my Mum...but WOW how blessed was I, my daughter came to 4 treatments and my Son made it to the last 2, the 3 of us together on my last treatment was incredibly emotional and humbling. I think you've done amazing for everything you've gone through this year, especially losing your husband, my heart goes out to you.

Hugs!

PontiacPeggy

MelClarity, thank you. It was a really rotten 15 months between Dx and losing DH. But now I'm focused on looking forward. My health seems good and I'll be living near my youngest son in 6 months and beginning a whole new life. I feel rather revitalized. I'm so glad you were able to have your DD and DS with you during chemo. That is really special.

HUGS!

LovesToFly

Peggy and malclarity, it sounds like you both had good support, I'm glad. Peggy I'm sorry for the loss of your husband.

Everybody has their own relationships with their parents, and I know that there are people who wish they had their mothers and I'm sorry for that but it doesn't change my reality. My mother and I do not click well. I know if she took me to chemo she would expect to talk in the car the whole way there, talk in the car the whole way back, get offended if I would rather watch some Netflix or play on Facebook than chat with her during my infusion, etc. As I've mentioned, there have been crises in my family recently. My dad had colon cancer in 2013, and my brother (who is my only sibling and single so he has nobody but us), was in the psych ward for three months last year. Those times my mother and I both had no choice except to be around a lot, and we both came out of it with a much worse relationship as a result of the time spent together in stressful situations. This time, I get to choose who is with me during the difficult times, and although that might be hard for some people to understand, I don't choose her and I know that is best for me and for our relationship. She is also a nervous anxious driver!

My dad would actually be awesome, but my mother would be very upset if I asked him to take me instead of her.

My husband will definitely be taking me for the first. If he needs to take me for that all of them he will. There are only six infusions, and they're three weeks apart, so it's not like he'd be missing work all the time. But it would be nice to be able to just go on my own if I could, I've actually done most of my appointments on my own except for the big ones, I just prefer it that way.

LovesToFly

I didn't have the wire locator, I had a radioactive seed locator instead. I was told that's pretty standard now? I guess perhaps that's only where I live? It was a very easy procedure, I had it two days before my surgery, and it was quite similar to a biopsy except they were popping something into the tumor instead of taking something out of it. Anybody going into a lumpectomy, I would recommend asking about it.

Melclarity

Pontiacpeggy - That sounds wonderful! Certainly will be a new beginning near your Son! Interesting isn't it, in different ways this whole process changes you. My priorities are different now...I put me first when I feel I need to, and Ive learnt to love myself through all of it. I've sorted out the 'real friends' and I just don't settle anymore. I have a wonderful new partner only been together 13 months, I was diagnosed 5 months into the relationship. OMG! I thought how on earth would anyone stay...but he did and has been a rock through it all..an incredibly beautiful soul. So much good has come from this journey. So glad I found this thread, as Ive said before I've pretty much done most of it alone in terms of talking with people who totally understand the journey..

Melclarity

Loves to Fly - We sounds quite similar!! I too have done ALL my appointments on my own apart from 1 or 2, I prefer it that way too! I'm fiercely independant. I totally get you about your Mum too, I definitely wouldnt' be taking her! I was super close with my Mum so just very different. I actually did most of my Chemo, alone, gosh! I just didnt want the worry of having to be mindful of someone else. I just wanted to do what I had to do, plus honestly, I met some amazing people and we chatted and laughed!!

PontiacPeggy

LovesToFly, it has to be difficult when the family relationships just don't work for you. You certainly don't need more stress! You also might consider Uber if DH can't make it to one of your chemo sessions.

MelClarity, how wonderful that you have a partner who has stood with you during this rotten time. I'm so happy for you. This IS such a great thread. Couldn't ask for better friends.

HUGS!

LovesToFly

thanks ladies. I was considering uber. I could also probably ask somebody (some friends who work at home or our stay at home moms or even Adam) to drive me one way and then take a taxi or Uber the other. My parents actually live very close to the hospital, so I could suggest that they drive me and/or pick me up but not stay, I'm not sure how they would take that, but they might be OK if I just explained that I really find it easier to be on my own.

I have heard a lot of people really enjoyed chatting with the other patients. I can say that at the things I've been to, it's been really nice meeting the other ladies (at chemo class, etc). I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I am the youngest by far, and they are all so sweet to me! They love talking to me about their grandchildren and my children.

LovesToFly

melclarity and Peggy, I am so glad both of you have so many good things to look forward to.

I often wonder how this is going to change my life. Except for the issues with my father and brother, I have a pretty normal life! Married working mom with two kids. I'm in another group, the women are always complaining about all the problems it has caused for their marriage, their finances, their families, etc. I hope this doesn't become us. On the bright side, I live in Canada and have excellent benefits and a flexible workplace with lots of sick time and and ltd plan if needed, so financially I'm not concerned. I am sure the financial strain brings on a lot of the stresses that they are going through.

Sloan15

I drove, no problems. The first day I was scared, but chemo was really uneventful for me, no reactions or anything. My husband has RP (genetic vision disease where he has no peripheral vision but is 20/20 central vision), so I am always the driver: chemo, rads, everything. If you start to get chemo brain (forgetfulness from chemo) or get really tired, you can take Lyft or Uber. I had no problems at all. I walked 4 miles before chemo each time, too. Exercise helps combat fatigue in chemo and rads.

LovesToFly

thank Sloan! I love walking, and totally plan to wear my fitbit throughout!

PontiacPeggy

LovesToFly, Your plan sounds good. Meeting new people who absolutely get what you are going through. And there are likely going to be times when you want to sleep, read, surf or whatever. You'll know more once you start.

Every single one of us has been changed by having breast cancer. No longer are we immortal (and yes, even at 68 I thought I was). It does cause us to re-assess our priorities. And get rid of the stressors in our lives, if we can. That was one of the reasons I had to put DH in a nursing home. I just couldn't care for him 24/7 by myself - I'd have been dead in another 6 months. And I felt that I owed it to him and me to not do that. So while I was adjusting to living alone while DH was alive, I was also thinking about my future without him since it was likely that I would outlive him - I just didn't think it would be so soon. Mentally I was prepared to make the decision to move across the country long before he died. (Why didn't I start decluttering then??). So yes, we are changed. I hope you don't join those other groups you mentioned. BC is enough of a group.

HUGS!

Melclarity

Loves to fly you have such a great attitude and honestly youll approach everything that comes and take it in your stride well. I never had a good relationship with my Dad, my mum passed away 6yrs ago and I didn't get why it wasn't in reverse....now I know. I had some healing to do with him, can't explain how he has been through treatment apart from amazing and selfless. Life is funny that's for sure. There's absolutely positives that come out of everything.

Peggy awww wish I were closer I'd love those catch ups lol x

Sloan15

I started up with mine again mostly because I wanted a watch. I love it. It does motivate me. Mine is an under performer Fitbit: I walk a known route of 4 miles everyday and it gives me 5700 steps. But, it really motivates me to get on my bike. It's bike time when you see posts from me! I don't know how to do fitbit friends (or FB friends, for that matter), but I accept friends! I know how to push the accept button. Haha.

LovesToFly

Sloan, I would be happy to friend you! I have a spin bike, and also often use my phone when I'm on it, if I'm feeling a bit lazy and not pushing myself too hard. Because a lot of my cardio is on the bike and not walking or running, my fit bit is set at 7500. I am a Fairweather runner, so during running season i set it higher.

PontiacPeggy

MelClarity, that would be fun. Too bad "next door" is so far away But, as you know, distance is no barrier to friendships.

Things do happen for a reason and your revitalized relationship with your dad had to be one. Nice when good can come out of awful.

HUGS!

Sloan15

lovestofly - run? I don't do that! That's for you young and fit ladies! Private message me one of these days and tell me what info you need to friend me. Like I said, I don't know how to do it. We'll encourage each other!

Anyone else a fitbit person ans want to jpin us?

All - If you're doing chemo i wanted to add that my chemo was TC, but some chemos kick your butt way more than TC. I took days off of exercising occasionally, and some days all I could do is one lap around the park. But, I think exercise really helped. Italychick was my motivator when I had problems in Chemo and Peggy is so level-headed on everything else. *

*shout out to Italychick and Peggy!

LovesToFly

yes, run! Ive ran a few half marathons, but cut down over the last few years. I actually ran a 15 km the day before I can on my alarm, it seems so unreal that I could be so fit and healthy and this could happen to me. Oh well, as we've all learned it could happen to anybody! I will PM you later

Also, you probably could run if you wanted to! You don't have to obviously, but you could. Until six years ago I could've won an award for the woman least likely to run to her own mailbox! I've met lots of runners that started in their 50s or 60s!

Italychick

Aw Sloan15, thank you, so sweet to say! My motto has been I don't go looking for side effects or trouble, and maybe I won't find them/it. My chemo was harsh and I did 5 of 6 rounds, but now they are finding that 4 is enough, so I'm not worrying. Darn neuropathy and gastrointestinal distress got me after round 5, was the only major side effect I had besides losing my hair.

We all just keep plugging along, and one day hopefully all this crap will only be a bad memory!

I fell on my bike last week, five stitches by my eyebrow and I got right back on my bike. Every time I ride, I feel the swelling and black eye (well okay, it is magenta and yellow lol) inflammation reduce. If it doesn't kill me, I just keep going

PontiacPeggy

Thank you, Sloan. Those are very nice words and I appreciate them. I don't exercise particularly but I am planning on doing yoga again now that the holidays are over and my life can resume some normalcy. Still have to downsize and declutter and some days that's all the exercise I need! I haven't run for anything in 20-25 years. It hurt the knees. I do walk my dog when it isn't too cold.

ItalyChick, that's really attractive. So glad you weren't more seriously hurt. Hope it stops bothering you quickly!

HUGS!

MLP3

Pontiac Peggy... I don't work so I'm wide open for any decisions that they make. My kids are older and I don't have much to set up. Like you, I'm wondering what the "surgeries" comment was all about. I'll tell you all on Wednesday I guess!

LovestoFly.... Beautiful family

PontiacPeggy

MLP3, yes, please do. Are you retired or lucky enough to be a homemaker?

HUGS!

Sally22

Hello All,

I am 16 days post op from a lumpectomy. I am feeling good just nervous about my upcoming appointments with the oncologist and radiologist. For the many of you out there like me, I was wondering about the numbness I feel. I had 2 lymph nodes removed and I feel like a got a bad sun burn not by my incision site but my arm and arm pit. Any advise for comfort, or how long this will feel like this

PontiacPeggy

Sally, welcome! Glad you found us. We're warm, caring and comforting as you probably have discovered. Before I answer you, please take time to fill out your profile and make it all public. That really helps us answer your questions.

You will find, like me and many others, that the SLNB site is a royal pain. Not that it really hurts, but everything rubs. Hard to believe since it is also numb. I realized Friday night - after nearly 18 months - that my nerves have FINALLY healed and my armpit is normal. My BS had said that however it was after a year was how it would remain. She wasn't right on this (but was on everything else). Most likely you are feeling the nerves zapping you and going nuts. Make sure nothing is rubbing on the incision. I found tank tops that used to be comfortable were too tight now in the armhole And some bras don't work for more than a couple hours. Glad your Lx incision is doing well.

We all were/are nervous about that post-surgery appointment when you get all your path reports and your course of treatment will likely be decided. Waiting sucks. Do keep us posted on what you find out!

HUGS!

Molly50

Welcome Noranurse, I will be praying for a good pathology report.