Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

Outrunning

Octogirl I'll chime in too. Your step-mother is doing the right thing. MIL kept FIL at home until she was dying herself. He was at the home he'd lived in since the 80s but there was a period when he was still miserable and abusive and she had no back up.

octogirl

Thanks Peggy. I will share your story. Part of the issue is that of all of his kids, she appears to trust me the most (and one of my sisters she trusts not at all...). So, it is hard to defer to the others for my own sake, but that is what it is right now. She also dotes on my (adult) son, so I may have him call as well. He has always been close to his Grandpa and Grandma.

I guess she and I just click personality wise. I think you'd like her, Peggy. She is into wine. and lives in wine country. If you ever get out this way maybe we can visit. So I am also going to let her know the Lx Lounge motto. She'll appreciate it. :-)

Octogirl,

PontiacPeggy

Octogirl, I'll bet I would like her. If what I suffered (and I was definitely suffering the last few months DH spent at home) helps anyone, I will be very glad. Perhaps it will help you cope with your BC if you aren't worrying about your step-mother doing something really stupid (like taking your father back home). Just a thought. Enlist anyone you can to convince her to avoid what probably be a suicidal course.

Do share our motto! And tell her I raise a glass to her!

HUGS!

Sweetmamaj

Wow, a lot has been going on in just a couple of days. Welcome MssBee to the Lounge!

An update with me is that today is my last day of radiation! Yay! I am glad to be ending that chapter, but very anxious to be beginning the next. My MO wants me to start Arimidex tomorrow, but I'm very nervous about the overlapping of SEs...and more SEs in general.

KeepWalking, I'm so sorry to hear that you will have another biopsy, but glad that they are looking out for you! Re the language limitations: is there a counselor or social worker at your treatment center who is fluent in english? It might help to vent and/or try and brainstorm for solutions.

MLP, brilliant solution to color your hair first! And sounds like a fun solution as well!

Octo, sorry to hear about the recent incident with your dad and DSM. There is a book, The 36-Hour Day, that I was given several years ago when I started to have problems as the caregiver to my mom. I found some parts of it very helpful and perhaps your DSM might appreciate the validation as well.

I realize your dad is not at home, but the book might reinforce-or educate with new information-the family's decision that assisted living was and still is the best option.

The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss Mass Market Paperback – September 25, 2012

by Nancy L. Mace (Author), Peter V. Rabins (Author)

942 customer reviews
Hugs to all! Sweetmamaj

ORknitter

Sweetmama, Yippee for finishing rads! That's a great accomplishment. I remember my MO wanting me to start meds the day after too, but the RO said to wait 2 weeks for recovery from radiation. I had a chat with the MO and she agreed to let me wait. Just my 2 cents, your mileage may vary!

octogirl

SMJ!!! Yay!!! Time to start planning a scuba Trip!

Octogirl

Molly50

So happy for you, smj! octogirl, I agree with Peggy that your step mom needs to not take your dad home. I wanted to take my dad home from the nursing because he cried all the time and I felt so guilty but my DS, my job and my other kids had to come first (not to mention my sanity).

Sloan15

Wow, a lot has gone on in the last week! I've been pretty sick from the chemo SE, so I feel like I'm 10 pages behind!! I'm so thankful that you all are such a supper support group.

Outrunning --If I were your assistant, I'd be scared even found a shadow during a mammography. If I were taking steps to reduce risks all that would be running through my mind would be, "Did I wait too long?" I just remember wanting to have my lump OUT ASAP.

Octogirl - hang in there... Planning that SCUBA trip will help bring down your stress!

Sweetmamaj - Yay for ending rads! I'll be finishing up my chemo and starting rads soon. I might have some questions for you!

I've been mostly on the neuropathy thread lately. It's not BAd, but I don't want it to be permanent. So, I'm not sure if I will do my last chemo. The good news, though, is that the docs decided that I don't have to have another lumpectomy for a benign lump that has been growing. They are satisfied that between the biopsy, the chemo and the rads next month that it should put an end to that little sucker.

Post more pictures. I love seeing what everyone is doing all over the world. I'm a traveler, so if you post something in your city that is fabulous, I might come and visit and have a coffee with you some day!

Sweetmamaj

Thanks ORknitter, and thats a good suggestion--think I'll try to ask my RO when I go today.!

Octo-yup...counting the time when I can dive again. But first, have to let my skin recover. Can't imagine a wetsuit under a BCD with lead and a tank on my very ochy skin right now.

Molly-thanks! And Im glad you take care of youself as well!

Sloan, thanks and ask away! Most of us are "Peri-Rads" ( like perimenopause :-)… We've had rads, are going through rads, or will have Rads). There are also rad boards on BCO that are super helpful

Molly50

Sloan or any of you lumpy friends, I would LOVE to have a cup of coffee with you! I have my rads planning session on Monday. I will then know what my schedule will be. All I know now is 33 sessions.

Nash54

Smj....congrats on finishing rads. Hoping you have minimal SE's or none with HT. I'm on Femara and having no real problems.

PontiacPeggy

SweetMamaJ, Yeah for finishing rads. I started my Arimidex the day after I finished my rads - that was what my MO wanted and I was fine with it. No problems for either rads or Arimidex. I had virtually no SEs with rads. And I didn't anticipate any with Arimidex and haven't had them. My advice is just start on it. But you have to do what is right for you.

Sloan, sorry you're having trouble with neuropathy.

A really annoying day. Power went out for 4 hours. Then I had a blow up with an idiot who, when I first reported the outage, thought that the power is "out" meant it had been turned off. Wouldn't "turn" it back on until I put the account in my name since DH has passed. I blew a big gasket. She hung up on me. I called back and this person knew that "out" means "outage." No problem. But I needed to put account in my name. So did that this afternoon. Since the power company reports to the credit reporting agencies, they had to close the one in DH's name (and mine) and open a new one in mine. Geez. At least it's done. I'm drinking. If you don't drink, I'll gladly guzzle yours!

HUGS!!!

meezers3

Don't let the idiot get to you Peggy.

PontiacPeggy

Meezers, but she did! And I did tell her a few things in very impolite terms. I was in no mood to be nice. She didn't listen when I told her my payments had never been late in 50 years. She just heard "dead" and figured DH was a scofflaw and owed a ton. All this because some critter shorted out the power lines (and most likely its life).

HUGS!

bluedog

Bing, it's 5:00 on the East Coast, and I'm drinking with you Peggy. HUGS!!!!

PontiacPeggy

Lisa, good! It's so much more fun to drink with someone! You'll be good company!

HUGS!!

PontiacPeggy

If you haven't read Dr Susan Love's Breast Book, I highly recommend it. For me it is the bible of breast cancer. Especially helpful for those of you just starting your journey and struggling to understand this new world you've been forced to enter. Here is the Amazon listing Breast Book. Of course it is available through Barnes & Noble (where I picked it up). There's so much to learn about BC and seemingly you have to decide NOW and most of us just don't even know the questions to ask. This book can help with that and give you some answers - not on YOUR particular situation but on them in general.

HUGS!

Molly50

((Peggy)) I will join you for the virtual drink. I am wiped out. First week back to work was brutal and DS woke me up early in the wee hours of the morning. Thanks for the recommendation, Peggy. My copy of the book came yesterday and I am devouring it.

PontiacPeggy

Molly, I'm sorry your week was awful. Very hard to operate when you aren't getting enough sleep - I know this. I'm glad that you got that book. It doesn't gloss over anything. Dr Love can be really honest but there's lots of hope and information. It seems to be an "inhaling" kind of book. I couldn't read it fast enough either last year or the new one. Of course, I re-read it as I went along in my treatment, which I'm sure most of us do. Hope the weekend is kind and you get some sleep. And a couple glasses of wine!

HUGS!

ChicagoReader

I'm just catching up to this thread and hope I don't miss anyone. Here goes:

Rina, that must be really difficult to go through 2 biopsies. Regarding LX or MX: my BS did LXs for masses in 2 separate quadrants of the same breast. Although multifocal disease often leads to an MX, she felt she could get clear margins and a good cosmetic result with an LX. She did a great job, and I was very glad to avoid the longer recovery period needed for an MX and the additional surgeries for reconstruction. If your BS doesn't have any reason for recommending an MX other than a potentially better cosmetic outcome, I would try consulting a PS.

MissBee, welcome! Cosmetic considerations are a matter of taste and personal choice, in my opinion. A friend of mine insisted on a lumpectomy, despite dire warnings that she wouldn't like how it looked. She had 3 children in diapers (including a set of twins) and her mother was very ill. It was very important to my friend to get back on her feet as soon as possible. It's now been over 10 years and even though she lost a significant amount of tissue, she says she's glad she went with the LX and would do the same thing all over again.

Marion55, welcome to you, too.Hope you're resting and healing well.

Octogirl, sending you hugs.That's a very tough situation with your father.

Sweetmamaj, congrats on finishing rads!!! You must be so glad that you don't have to make that daily trek any more.

MLP, sounds like your DH found a great solution.

Peggy, as if dealing with a power outage wasn't bad enough . . . sigh.

I'm another fan of Dr. Love's book. Sadly, this is the 3rd edition I've purchased: 15 years ago, I bought one for a dear friend who was diagnosed at 37; 10 years ago, I bought one for another dear friend, whose mother was diagnosed in her 70s; and this year, I bought the latest edition for myself.

PontiacPeggy

Chicago, that is sad but the book is such a marvelous tool. No, the power outage wasn't that bad though I really needed more cuddling from the pets to stay warm. I really resented the implication of the first customer service rep that my DH was a deadbeat. Guess I am still a bit raw and didn't even realize it.

HUGS!

Sloan15

Molly50 - I wish I had checked this site earlier. I'm here in LA at the Huntington Museum gardens, but I leave tomorrow. I'll definitely be back, and we'll have a coffee somewhere. Are you near Pasadena?

For those of you who love gardens and are planning on visiting LA, I love the Huntington Museum gardens. Soooo relaxing. Each area is planted by different regions and types: Australian terrain, chinese garden, Japanese garden, a rose garden, a succulent garden., etc. Here are some pic my DH took today of a garden walkway and the succulent garden. The succulent garden is awesome eith HUGE cacti and succulent plants -but we are not good photographers and only got a generic shot . Haha

Molly50

Sloan, Yes!! I am minutes from Pasadena in fact my surgery was at Huntington Memorial in Pasadena. Next time for sure!

Sloan15

Peggy -It is frustrating, and you'd think people would be a little more compassionate. I haven't had the experience you've had, but my husband and I do not have the same last name and you'd think I was a malicious hacker trying to make random changes the way they treat you sometimes. Geez.

Chicago - I have a grandbaby in Chicago, sho I will be visiting there after radiation (and maybe after winter, now that I think about it).

Come on ladies, post a pic of your yard or a trip to a neat place in your town -park, garden, mountains. I have such cabin fever after doing chemo and next month starting 7 weeks of rads... I need to get out, at least virtually!

Sweetmamaj

Nash, Thank you! I'm glad to hear that you are doing no real problems about almost a year! Yay! Hope you're doing well.

Peggy, Thank you! I'm also glad that you do not have any SE from your arimidex! And virtually no SE from your rads is impressive, and helpful for the pre-rad folks to hear. I don't have severe skin SE from the rads (yet), just burnt and tender, but really struggled with a couple of powerful waves of fatigue. My RO said to expect more intense SE next week (maybe it's a hypo-fractioned thing?).

Chicago Reader, thank you! Yes, It will be nice to not have my 2 daily alarms go off to remind me that I am an hour or 30 min away from being zapped.

Sloan! Awesome pics! thanks for sharing. I haven't been to the Huntington Gardens in years, but I was right back there amongst the succulents when I saw your photo.

Sweetmamaj

Sloan, I have a gazillion pictures of swim meets and hotel rooms, but probably not the nice cool relaxing images that you were hoping for.

Outrunning

Sloan 7 weeks of rads after chemo?!

Clearly I don't understand this cancer stuff at all. To me Your DX profile doesn't look that different/more serious than mine. Except I had mix of ILC/IDC, My largest tumor was smaller than yours but there were 5 more even smaller ones totally 1.3cm And yet I'm only getting 4 weeks of Rads. No chemo.

Sloan15

outrunning - yep, 7 weeks! It exhausts me just thinking about it. I didn't qualify for Canadian protocol, 3-4 weeks because I had a high ki67, proliferation rate. After my surgery, they actually bumped me to grade 2, but I haven't changed it yet because I'm on my phone most of the time. So, you can see why I'm going to have extreme cabin on fever!

zinny

sloan 15 - here are a few - palm desert - hike with my baby girl:)

zinny

Mount Baker view for sloan 15