Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

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  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,804
    edited October 2015

    Hi Peggy...yes most of October might be warm for caps around here but yesterday was cool, with even a few raindrops (we've sort of forgotten what rain is around here!) so it seemed like a good day to wear the cap. That one doesn't look to bad and I felt ok about wearing it, but self conscious. I picked the least attractive one as the practical alternative for home, but i am varying it with my Giants cap (still). The advantage to the ugly cap is that it does catch any spare hairs that are still there.

    Many of the ladies on the chemo thread are encouraging me to buzz it, but not feeling that yet. we shall see.

    Managed to get six hours of sleep last night which given the steroids I am still one for one more day...seems pretty reasonable.

    Yay for no chemo, zinny!

    Octogirl.

  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Octogirl, driving must have been fun yesterday with the rain. California drivers often seem to forget how to drive in it making it a life-threatening situation aggravated by the weather people running around like Chicken Little saying the sky is falling.

    I don't blame you for still wearing your Giants cap - I'm wearing Tigers gear although we are terrible this year. I can understand why you are reluctant to buzz off your remaining hair. My DIL said it was easier for her to just get rid of it than watch it fall out. That makes sense to me but I'm not the one losing hair, either. You gotta do what works for you! Grab a Harley-Davidson scarf-thingy to wear! You definitely have "balls" (sorry to those I offend :) ).

    Glad you got sleep. That helps make everything easier to cope with. I bet you will be glad to get off the steroids. Sleep all weekend!

    HUGS!

  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,804
    edited October 2015

    Dear Peggy, I promise nothing you say would offend me! We've been through too much together! :-)

    Yes, today is last steroid day. Hooray! I can't remember if it was on this thread or the chemo thread that I mentioned talking to the MO about cutting the dose, but he pointed out that my SEs had been minimal, so 'why fix it if it ain't broke.'. I will take three days with less sleep over nausea and pain any day! (especially since I am busy at work and doing lots of work with folks on the east coast right now.)

    hmmm....maybe I should morph into a biker girl. HUGS! Octogirl

  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Octogirl, I wasn't worried about offending you :) You're right, we've gone through a lot. I gather you take the steroids for several days after each chemo treatment? I think you're wise to stick with what works! This bi-coastal stuff is difficult. I'm not working so that isn't a problem but both my sons are west coasters and it makes communicating more challenging. I really need to figure out how to get in the same time zone with them!

    Nothing wrong with being a biker girl (even without a bike!). I find I like the "idea" of a Harley much more than actually wanting one. I would be a rolling disaster on a bike - I absolutely cannot manage hand brakes, not even on a bicycle. My brain isn't geared right for them.

    Have a good day!

    HUGS!

  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,804
    edited October 2015

    Peggy, I wouldn't be surprised to hear you have landed in (too) sunny California one of these days. But take your time. Michigan is your home.

    Speaking of Moms, mine was pretty good about not saying the wrong things to me....but she had one hard and fast rule that she tried to enforce anyway she could: motorcycles are dangerous ugly beasts and no one should go near one. And riding on the back of one was strictly prohibited on pain of who-knows-what. My sister had a BF who rode a bike in high school and he wasn't allowed to bring it near the house. So of course what did I do after I flew the coop? Got married to a guy with a bike, took trips up and down the coast on the back.....but that may have gotten it out of my system. I may even have become a bit of my mother. Like the look though, sometimes. :-)

    Thanks for letting me feel like I can just be me. Really appreciated.

    Wow. Thunder outside. Has been a LONG time since I've heard that. Hope it is raining in the mountains to put out the fires!

    HUGS!

    Octogirl

  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Octogirl, I would love to live in SoCal but, unless I win the lottery, it just isn't an option. Good for you for biking around! #1 son and wife love to bike.

    HUGS!!

  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited October 2015

    Welcome zinny, congratulations on the low oncotype. I couldn't wear a bra after my Lx. My ALND site hurt too bad and bras pressed on the drain. I ended up with a large seroma. Then after my umx I was told not to wear a bra until my PS said OK.

  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited October 2015

    octogirl, I guess you are getting the rain our high pressure pushed North. You definitely need help with those fires. I officially return to work on Monday. I can't wait to see my co-workers.

  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited October 2015

    Peggy, my DH has a motorcycle which he acquired about 8 years ago. He had suffered septic shock and nearly died following a sinus infection and the recovery took almost a year. After that, he (and I~!) figured riding a motorcycle would be small potatoes. Unfortunately, as his health has deteriorated he no longer has the strength to really maneuver the bike. About once a month he drives it 2 miles up to Starbucks, drinks coffee and rests for 2 hours, then drives it 2 miles back home, after which he is totally spent and needs a 2 hour lay-down-nap-with-oxygen to recover. Poor hubby. Personally, I wish he would just sell the bike, but it is important to him and it doesn't require food or college tuition, so I guess we will keep it. In the meantime, the bike sits in the driveway, sort of DHs mark of manhood.

  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Poodles, I suspect you are right. It probably gives him the illusion that he is not sick and a sense of freedom he can't really get any other way. Good for you for not pushing him to sell it. He needs it and how it makes him feel.

    HUGS!

  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited October 2015

    Oh, wow. I don't know what to say. Everything thing has changed. I saw the new MO today and she was a real ball of fire. She had already conferred with the RO and pretty much had a treatment plan in mind. She went over my sordid family cancer history, looked over my Oncotype (23), my PALB2 & Chek2 mutations, plus the ER+/PR- business. Then she looked up and said, "There is no question that you need chemo.
    The big question is, do you really want to undergo increased surveillance for the rest of your life. Yearly MRIs. Every new lump or shadowy occurrence on your mammogram will require a biopsy. Do you really want to leave breast tissue in there, knowing that you are at high risk for new cancers, let alone recurrence of this one. If your cancer comes back, we cannot cure you. " She was actually pretty surprised that my BS had not already suggested a BMX. Anyway, the MO went to the phone and got the BS on the line right then and there. They had a little pow-wow and Boom! It was a done deal.

    I start chemo Oct 20. The BS will put a port in the week before. She will get back with me re: scheduling a BMX. I would assume this will happen after the chemo ends, in Jan earliest. I asked the MO about radiation and possible ovary removal and she said at this point everything is on the table.

    In some ways, this is a huge relief. My mind was telling me all these things. I have done a ton of research and I agree with this MOs treatment plan 100%. I'm so glad I got this 2nd opinion .I came away feeling much more reassured and, well, HEARD. I felt like the 1st MO sort of patted me on the head, like a silly child. This one really grabbed the reins in both hands and away we went. She really explained to my WHY chemo and BMX are necessary. I'm so glad that the RO I saw on Monday took my case seriously and called this doctor!

    Now, to go call my mom. Lord, give me strength...

  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Poodles, WOW! I can tell how relieved you are. Though your path ahead won't be easy, your mind will be. You KNEW what had to be done! I'm so glad your RO was the right person at the right time and got you to the right MO. I can hear you breathing again.

    I hope you can just call your mother, tell her and hang up. Since that isn't likely, turn off your hearing. Don't let her doom and gloom you. You have a positive path to health and being cancer-free. That's all that your mother needs to know.

    Bless you for being strong enough to do what you knew necessary.

    HUGS!!

  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited October 2015

    mlp, how are you feeling about all this change? Have you had time to process it yet? I'm sure you are relieved to find a MO who took you seriously. Will you be planning on reconstruction?

  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited October 2015

    Thanks, Peggy. That's exactly what I needed to hear. I'm sure my mother will be upset (because everything is always about her--that's just who she is). But perhaps if she hears me being hopeful and with a clear plan in place, she will not feel so worried. I know it must be hard to watch your child go through something like this and you can't do anything about it. She lives 400+ miles away and even if she were here, there is very little help that she could provide other than prayer (which she can do where she is!)

  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Poodles, Of course your mother will be upset. Let her be. That's fine. Just make sure she doesn't say anything else or turn your hearing aid off! Hurry and tell her that you want her prayers, that you know you'll be fine. Then hang up (if you can). After that phone call, crack open that bottle of wine and polish it off. You deserve it. I suspect your appointment with the MO will turn out easier than talking to your mother. I'm in your pocket (and wine glass!)!

    HUGS!!!

  • MaggieCat
    MaggieCat Member Posts: 346
    edited October 2015

    Poodles... They have your back!!!!! I have, no kidding, been watching for your comments and updates. I read in Peggy's commentaries often, kill the cancer. Thank goodness you stayed with this and sought other support!

  • Ringelle
    Ringelle Member Posts: 240
    edited October 2015

    MLP - I bet you feel caught in a whirlwind again but I can hear the relief in your post. I'm so glad you feel more confident in this second opinion and you feel like both you and the MO are on the same page. When it comes right down to it, it's your peace of mind you have to live with and you need to be confident in your choices and decisions. I'm glad MO took the charge and made things happen. I'm sure you'll have your ups and downs but you've got a lot of support going forward. Praying you can have a good talk with your mom and feel supported there. My mom has been pretty good through my process but sometimes she just got needy and I just couldn't talk to her. I was grateful for my few friends who would just listen and not try to fix anything or tell me other stories.

  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited October 2015

    Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I haven't shared all this in real life with anyone except my family and some of my supervisors. Most people really have no idea what someone goes through when they get a breast cancer diagnosis. Fortunately, my direct supervisor does understand because his mother just went through all this last year. So he has been more than supportive through it all thus far.

    I talked with my mother and was able to keep her focused, for the most part. She did digress for a short moment, long enough to get the quick & dirty version of my-friend-had-reconstruction-and-had-recurrence-and-DIED story. After which I flat out told her that I don't want to hear negative stories anymore. I gave her permission to talk to her friends, and particularly her sister who is also a nurse (we are all three old RNs.) However, she is to keep all this OFF of Facebook! Hopefully, I was stern enough about that because I really don't want to share all this with high school friends that I haven't seen in several years.

    I also told her that I don't like all the pink-power breast cancer awareness stuff (cuz I know that's what will come next.) I love hot pink, but I don't really want all the pink ribbon business. Glad I brought it up because she saw some kind of breast cancer license plate that she was going to buy me. Yikes!


  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Poodles, at least you survived talking to your mother. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed that she got the message. I hope she does take it to heart that what is going on with you is YOURS to share or not, not hers. I did share on Facebook. My high school classmates (we had just had our 50th class reunion the year before I was diagnosed) were extremely supportive. But that's me. All of us approach coping with our Dx in our own ways. I shared and like pink ribbon. You don't. We're both right because we know what's right for us.

    So glad your supervisor is there for you. Must make it a lot easier when you don't have to start at square one explaining everything - he gets it!

    Now, did you finish off that bottle of wine? You'd better get at it! I'm splashing around in it :)

    HUGS!!

  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited October 2015

    LOL, no wine but DH did find a Nutty-Butty rolling around in the freezer. Yum!

  • Sloan15
    Sloan15 Member Posts: 896
    edited October 2015

    I'm still trying to decide if I like the pink ribbon stuff or not. I think being in the middle of chemo treatments makes me want to be hopeful, and then feeling like crap from chemo makes me want to not be reminded of it. Peggy is right. We just have to do what makes us feel best about this whole situation.

  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,804
    edited October 2015

    MLP, I am so glad you are on the treatment plan both you and the new MO think is the right one. And kudos to your RO for the referral. Kudos also to you for calling your Mom and being firm. It will be tough, but you've already shown you can do it!

    HUGS TO ALL!

    Octogirl

  • Sweetmamaj
    Sweetmamaj Member Posts: 190
    edited October 2015

    mlp, glad you have a MO that you can really trust!!! I think of the 3 primary bc docs that I see (MO , RO, BS), that it's most important to trust my MO. I love my BS, but her work was closely watched by the Sx team; the tumor, node, & tissues were scrutinized by pathology; and I was radiographed on the table . So, job well done. But my MO is the one who will work with me throughout the next several years, and will be the one responsible for assessing and monitoring my "response" to the drug, as well as listening to me.

    And glad you talked with your mom, (I also love hot pink-long story but has more to do with identifying my scuba gear in a giant pile of gear on a dive boat--but since my BC Dx, I have not wanted to wear pink. I have nothing against pink ribbons, but don't buy (pun intended) into the commercialization.

    Octogirl, I have a nice Dodgers cap with the back & side flaps that hang down for sun protection that you can borrow! :D. (love you!)

  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,804
    edited October 2015

    Them's fighting words, SMJ. I am a Jays fan for the duration. (once the Cubbies choke).

    xoxox

    Octo

  • Sweetmamaj
    Sweetmamaj Member Posts: 190
    edited October 2015
  • Keys-Plez
    Keys-Plez Member Posts: 304
    edited October 2015

    Octogirl....You can wear SMJs Dodger hat. Problem solved. No one would know who you were. Lol

  • KittyL
    KittyL Member Posts: 30
    edited October 2015

    Hi all! Have been lurking for couple of days, the left Lx & SNB Monday went very well, only one incision. Should hear the Pathology report today. Need some feedback. Small hot spot in armpit, hot like a boil, with small line of swelling like a licorice whip radiating down toward back of incision. Barely perceptible swelling and barely a noticeable pinkness. Called Dr's nurse & we think either a small seroma forming or irritation of the involved lymph channel. Treatment is Ice and watch. This a.m. the nerve going down underside of left arm seems irritable & kind of a menthol feel radiating down from shoulder, even back of left hand above forefinger. Anybody else have that at some point? (I think somebody posted about that pages ago & I am just too wiped out to hunt for it.) One wrapped ice cube in the armpit is lovely, damps the hot spot right down.

    Other than that, healing beautifully!!! Multi-color little boob. The incision is beautiful & the itching & tugging are miserably wonderful signs of healing. For others who are apprehensive about the radioactive dye shots as I was, it wasn't nearly as awful as I feared (of course, the Valium & Percocet didn't hurt either, bwahaha, and I Didn't have to have a wire.) The outer hemisphere was more ow ow ow ow but by the time I finished saying it, the burning was gone. Somebody wondered about what the nuclear med pics looked like, had my cousin Linda describe it while I was in the machine. Both she and the tech said the pic is really boring, just little white dots on a black field. Had 2 cups of black coffee & a tall water, and told 3 jokes---before I left Recovery; that R.N. wants 20 of me. Linda & I played a "how many warm blankets can we burn through today" game; think we got to 18 by the time I was discharged, used the cold pitiful little patient card shamelessly!! Great fun!! Follow-up BS and initial rads consult scheduled. Hovering over the phone today, I want "the rest of the story" and I want it right now. hahaha

    I'm just starting to get over the I Hate Pink stage, a good thing, or this month I'd be barfing all over the place. Yesterday was suddenly so exhausted I could hardly pick up my feet. Did some extra self-care: rest, push fluids, regular decent food. Tryling to "allow" myself to be sick. DH gets home tomorrow night after a year gone. Will be glad to see him, but have to save my energy for the BC journey (he's badly PTSD & I run interference for him when he's home). Resting in the blessed quiet with my wonderful 6 cats & token dog. At least the cats refrained from using the tub as mouse abbatoir this morning, their fall habit (yesterday was head with eyes and whiskers, tail, one leg and assorted bits of innards (but easier to find, clean & Not step on than the l.r. carpet) --trust me, I have the cleanest tub in the state! Tired, a little anxious, but still alert for joke fodder anywhere I can find it! (preferably Not the tub) Cheers to us all!!!! <3

  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2015

    Poodles, not familiar with Nutty-Buddy (had to Google it) but if that works for you, GO FOR IT!!!

    Sloan15, You are definitely entitled to your feelings. Don't let anyone say otherwise!

    SweetMamaJ, interesting that you find it hard to wear pink now. I think I may be unusual on this particular forum because i do continue to wear pink. I don't have any Pink Cancer wearable items except a pin but mostly because I've been watching my nickels. I have a coffee mug a dear friend who has metastatic BC gave me, a BCO coffee mug and a mandela a friend embroidered for me of pink ribbons. Plus I have a pink pin and Pandora bead. But, as I said, we are all feel differently on this. BTW, I saw a neon pink Harley-Davidson with "fire streaks" driven by a man the other day. That WAS hard to take :)

    KittyL, I have a mouse story for you. The morning after my Lx, I noticed my cat and dog (who are roughly the same size), staring intently at a chair in the corner of the dining room. I knew something very "interesting" was happening since they are so not the poster children for the Peaceable Kingdom. I bravely looked and there was a mouse. My son was up and said, "DON'T TELL TRISH !! She'll freak out." I put out a mouse hotel which becomes a permanent residence. All was well though the pets were quite disappointed. Much later that day, after my DIL had flown home to deal with a home emergency, my dear, clawless (not by me!) kitty was laying in the dining room, do her best Sphinx imitation. Right in front of her was a dead mouse. She must have caught it in the basement, brought it whole upstairs and presented it to me whole. A gift I could have done without. But she was so proud of herself. Very hard for an indoor kitty to hunt. DIL still doesn't know we had visitations from Mickey Mouse. You can keep your bathtub presents!

    Good luck dealing with DH. I know it will be challenging for you. Have your friends take over his care if you can.

    Octogirl, time to find your football or hockey baseball caps. Baseball is soooo over!

    HUGS!

  • keepwalking
    keepwalking Member Posts: 147
    edited October 2015

    MLP - mmmm.. nutty buddy. Haven't had one of those in years and years. Hope it helped. Wow, what a roller coaster ride you have been on. I am glad that you have found a solution that gives you peace of mind and doctors that you can connect with and feel confidence in. Sorry that it means having to go through more to fight this - but you ARE FIGHTING IT with a whole arsenal and that is what counts! We're with you.

    KittyL - Good to hear from you and glad you are doing well, all things considered. Sounds like the pets are providing the entertainment, just to make sure you don't get bored. Enjoy your quiet time until DH gets back. Hoping that it won't be too taxing for you when he does so that you can also enjoy the company.

    Maybe it is because I am in limbo and haven't gotten that close to the surgery yet, but no one has told me about the "nuclear med pics" part. The surgeon just said that I would be injected with the radioactive dye and then he would locate the sentinel nodes with a geiger counter. So, what is the pics part about? How is that done?

    Octogirl - Hope you are getting more sleep and the SE's are still minimal.

    HUGS to all, Rina

  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited October 2015

    Oh, my goodness! Peggy and Kitty! Your mouse stories! Eek! My mother has a cat that brings her presents. One night at 1am, she saw it playing with something in her closet. Turned out to be a small, still alive snake! I knew there was a reason we don't have a cat!

    Thanks to all for the encouragement. Talked with the boss today--he is fully supportive and basically said, "Just do what you need to do and don't worry about work." Yesterday was my first day back and so far, so good. I'm a community health nurse and I have 19--count them!--19 home visits to do between now and Oct 19. Six are within 100 miles of me and 13 are about 275 miles away ( I go all over Georgia and it's a big state). I need to get all this done prior to the first chemo because I don't think I'm going to want to do many home visits after that. Plus, I need to make sure I don't see any sick people between now and January--that ought to be difficult, since flu season starts up in November. Lucky for me, I had my flu shot on Monday~

    Kitty, I had those same feelings in my axilla after my SNB. It's been about 6 weeks and it's still numb in there. I have that same "feeling of menthol" there. It gets itchy, but when I try to scratch it I feel nothing, so it's not satisfying at all! And then sometimes it feels like something is dripping down under my arm. But my incision is dry now (yay!) Take care of yourself. Any surgery takes the wind right out of you. You should count how many hours you were in OR and recovery, and translate that to days needed to recover at home. One hour in OR and 2 hours in recovery room, equal 3 days of recovery at home. Assuming that you don't have any complications. (I had nothing BUT complications and was out of work for most of the last 6 weeks!) Hopefully, you'll be back on top by next week.

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