Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

BBwithBC45

Well, I got my bad news. My surgeon called me as we were eating dinner.

I don't remember all of it, just there is much more cancer in my breast than originally thought, said something about microinvasions, multi centric something, long story short the radiology would not feel comfortable with radiation. He thinks my only solution at this point would be mastectomy with reconstruction.

It was like a kick in my gut.

I did ask about the nodes and he said they were negative, so that's the good news but at this point I have a difficult time believing any good news. I went from a slightly suspicious mammo and "wait and see" to a mastectomy within a month.

He said he could meet us and talk to us tomorrow morning if I don't want to wait till my Tuesday appointment.

I'm having difficult time to stop crying. Even Xanax is not helping much.

I guess I'll be leaving the Lumpectomy Lounge and go searching for a mastectomy lounge.

BB

shaz101

BB I'm so sorry to hear that. Much love and hugs to you.

PontiacPeggy

Oh, BB, I'm so sorry about your news. You can be in both lounges. Please keep us posted on your progress and whatever decisions you make. Truly awful. Many hugs and love.

shelleym1

BB - did they do an MRI before surgery? I am surprised it didn't show multicentric then? I know it wasn't what you wanted to hear. I'm sorry. Your node was clear so that is great!

BBwithBC45

Yes, they did MRI and it didn't show anything new. I was alsotold that microcalcifications don't show very well on MRIs.

My "tumor" was never well defined.

PontiacPeggy

My BS also said microcalcifications don't show on MRIs - I know I have them in my other breast. HUGS!!!!

kayfry

BB, I'm so sorry. This could be any one of us. I'm sending you every bit of positive thought I have, and I know you'll get through this.

SweetHope

Hi Shaz, my lumpectomy scar is about four inches long, from my nipple (at high noon) to my breastbone. The cancer was only 11mm and there was some DCIS and there was a reincision to get clear margins. Why the concern? So sorry you had a migraine- they are so debilitating.

Hopeful82014

BB - I'm so sorry for this shock that's hit you.

SweetHope

BB, I was composing a post to Shaz when you posted your sad news. I am so sorry. I don't know much about your diagnosis, but I do know it is great news that there is no node involvement. Gentle (((hugs)))), and please keep us posted.

PontiacPeggy

Ladies, a friend of mine just posted this article on Facebook and I thought it was quite pertinent to some of the discussions we've had recently. Depression as an allergic reaction?

Sjacobs146

BBwithBC, so sorry to hear your news. I felt similar when I found that I needed chemo. Small tumor, caught early, how did that damn cancer make it to my lymph nodes?

Sjacobs146

Plantwoman, there may be no difference in survival rates, but what about recurrence? I will do what ever I need to in order to never.need chemo again. Also I prefer to have a radiated Breast than no breast at all. But it is your choice. As they told me before starting chemo, they don't handcuff you to the chair, no one can force you to have any treatment

shaz101

Thanks sweethope,

It was just a shock as the surgeon indicated that it would be much smaller than that. I wanted to find out if that length was normal.

jeanelle

shaz - I just measured my incisions. The one on my breast (right above the nipple, sort of curving around it) is about 2 inches. The incision from my SNB under my arm is about 3 inches.

BB - I'm sorry to hear about your results. Please keep us updated on your progress. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

I hope everyone else is doing well. Work has been obnoxious lately. I am also thinking about a career change. My outlook and attitude has just gotten so different since the cancer.

Nash54

BB...I'm sorry about your news. Please keep us posted on how your doing. So glad the nodes were negative.

(((hugs)))

shelleym1

do you guys know if it's okay to have my feet massaged after surgery? My husband does it and it helps relax me. I didn't know if it would interfere with my SLNB.

PontiacPeggy

Shelley - let DH massage away. Only thing you want to remember is that sometimes surgeons don't want you to have blood pressure or blood taken from the SNB arm. Even that is not an absolute I gather. ENJOY!!

gemmafromlondon

What a super idea! Send him round here! I think a foot massage would be just the thing and no problem - but don't forget to move the arm gently to get it going again.

BBwithBC45

I saw my surgeon earlier today and I got a little more information. No longer it is DCIS, now it is IDC, but I don't know what stage yet.

There are microinvasions and there are so many microcalcifications all over the place that it cannot be taken out with confidence that all of it is gone. The conclusion is that I need total mastectomy and because I am so very upset about my disfigurement, immediate reconstruction is advised.

I will also need a year of chemo, so in addition to my breast I will be losing my hair, which makes me even more upset.

I don't have all the details yet. First I have to meet with the oncologist and with the plastic surgeon. Then PS and BS will coordinate my surgery amongst themselves.

I'm having a difficult time with calming down and with getting "excited" about the positives. Yes, I know it could always get worse and I'm not asking "why me?", but I AM angry, and sad, and upset. And I feel like a lot is thrown at me in a short amount of time.

On another note - I was trying to reply to someone's private message and I wasn't able to. The error message said:

There were problems with this submission. Please correct the following information:

• Your account can send a limited number of private messages per day

This was only the second private message I was sending today. Has anything like that happen to anybody else?

BB

PontiacPeggy

Oh, BB, what a crappy appointment. HUGS!!! I don't blame you one bit for being angry, mad, PO'd. You have a right to be. It IS a lot to happen in no time at all. And to get your head around all of this is hard. Really hard. You will be able to handle all this though it sure doesn't seem like it right now.

Please go to the mastectomy and chemo forums and yell HELP and you'll get it. They will give you ideas on how to prepare mentally for all that you have coming. For you, it does sound like immediate reconstruction may be the way to go. But please go to the forums. You can continue to rant here and we will wrap our arms around you and give you the conditional support you need. Our hearts ache for you.

(BTW, for some reason you can only post every few minutes, not one right after another - seems dumb, doesn't it?)

HUGS and LOTS OF HUGS!!!!

Hopeful82014

BB - While there are glimmers of positives, PLEASE don't feel that you have to put on a good face or feel anything but awful about this. You've had so much thrown at you in such a brief time and it just seems to keep getting worse, doesn't it? The cascade of bad news will end, eventually.

In time you will not feel it as intensely, which is good as it would awful to go on doing so indefinitely. But you are entitled to whatever you're feeling. Come here and rant, question, ask for understanding - whatever you need. I'm so sorry this has come in to your life.

shelleym1

I am sorry because I know that isn't what you wanted to hear. I am sure it was a shock to go from DCIS to IDC needing mastectomy and chemo. It is OK to be angry. None of this is fair. Regardless of the positives (I've tried to focus on mine too) it still sucks. Why is this happening to us? I don't know.

kayfry

BB, that is truly crappy news, and I'm so very sorry. It's a lot to wrap your head around, and I can only imagine (because I'm uncomfortably close to this, having had my own LX only a day after yours, and still waiting for pathology and trying to remain calm) that the whole thing must seem very surreal to you right now, as in, how can this be happening to me? We get through every day of our lives in a world in which bad things do happen, partly because our brains kind of insulate us from thinking that those bad things will ever happen to us. But of course, from time to time, they do.

A year of chemo seems very long. You will get through it, though. Is that continuous, I wonder, or will there be breaks? And though the idea of losing your breast is also upsetting, having immediate reconstruction means you will never really feel disfigured, at least not once everything heals. Your hair will grow back, possibly more beautiful than before. The thing to keep in your heart and mind is that you will be getting rid of the cancer and will be able to put it behind you and get back to all the good that life has to offer. It sucks now, though, and you are fully entitled to feel angry and sad. I hope you'll share with us as you go through your treatment, and let the wise, kind voices here help you through it. I'm counting on that to help me, just in case I also get bad news in a couple of days or so.

Hopeful82014

Kay, BB's HER2+, so she's probably looking at weekly infusions of Herceptin. The good thing about Herceptin is that it really seems to cut the chances of recurrence WAY down. And while it's got its own challenges and side effects, it's not as bad as some of the older chemo drugs. So yes, a year is a lot of time to face dealing with infusions but not quite as awful as it sounds. The upside is that the payoff is pretty reliable and the results are pretty spectacular.

As for breaks, most oncs. will suspend any chemo treatment for a breather as needed. It's not something they do lightly but sometimes it's an absolute necessity.

kayfry

Hopeful, thank you for this info. I am new to this, and have a lot to learn. Especially about HER2+, which I don't believe has so far even been assessed in my own case. I'm glad that it's such a positive thing going in.

shelleym1

I have two friends that were HER+ and tolerated herceptin very well. They are both many years after treatment and doing great.

Hopeful82014

You're ever so welcome, Kay. All of us have learned a lot (much of which we'd rather have not) and we're happy to share.

The interesting thing about HER2+ is that treatment has come so far, so fast. It should have been assessed in your pathology workup but that info may be in an addendum. do ask about it when you talk with your MD.

And feel free to ask or wonder anything.

Shelley, how are you doing? Is the SNB area driving you nuts?

shelleym1

Hi Hopeful, every now and then it drives me crazy! Much more than the breast incision. I haven't shaved my armpit since two days before surgery so that's pleasant.

Hopeful82014

That seems to be the pattern. Without that SNB incision it would be a very different recovery. Maybe it takes the mind of the lx. ...Sounds like you're doing pretty well, considering. Crossing my fingers for lots of good news for you on Tuesday.