Just Told I Need Chemo B4 Therapy

jojo38

What a week! My 39th bday is next week (Feb 12th) and I feel my life has just spiraled out of control! I was told yesterday via phone by my BS that I do have breast cancer. My mammo last April showed a mass, but came back negative for cancer and to see my plastic surgeon regarding mass cuz it may be due saline implants under muscle. Saw my plastic surgeon last week, which he told me to ask my doc for an ultrasound cuz he didn't think it was from implants. Today was my 3rd time to see my BS. Ultrasounds & ultrasound guided biopsy confirmed b/c. I have a shit load of tests (PET, CT, Bone, Heart & Brain) to be scheduled. Also, since my mom was diagnosed with b/s 3 yrs ago, I'm being sent 2 genetics for additional testing. Honestly, I'm scared of death to lose my hair (cuz my young daughters will worry so) plus the fact that I don't want my 8-yr to freak out @ school when strangers or others she may not know, but know me, whisper behind her back about my condition. Unfortunately, we live in a very discriminating world where if you look sick, most people treat you like you have an incur able disease. I don't mind losing my hair cuz there are many cool looking wigs, but I do mind the stares & glares my family will get when chemo starts. I do mind not being able to work at home (run an after-school program), and I do mind not being able to feel strong enough to get up cuz I'm a very active person. Forgive me all, if I sound mixed up, but I have so many different thoughts going through my head right now. What sucks, my tumor reads negative for any other drug & my BS says my only option is chemo or mastectomy/radiation/chemo. She also told me that I won't die from breast cancer, but I'm thinking...will I die from all the chemo/radiation?

exbrnxgrl

Hi jojo38,

I understand the emotions that are crashing through you. Let me understand; you are ER and PR negative ( that is why doc says other drugs won't work), your bs wants you to have neo- adjuvant therapy? Do you know your HER2 status? Have you seen an oncologist? I am not saying your bs is wrong, but an oncologist should be making the tx choices. Also, as you are scheduled to have quite a few scans, more information effecting tx choices may be known after the scans.

As far as other people go, you may be surprised to find out how kind and generous they can be. I am a first grade teacher in a close school community. While not revealing every nitty gritty detail of my disease, I was very open and honest. I controlled the information so there was nothing to gossip or whisper about. Everyone was amazing (except one or two!).I would also urge you to be as open and honest with your daughter as you can on an age appropriate level. When children don't know what's going on, that's when they worry and are vulnerable to stress and anxiety. The American Cancer Society web site has some good ideas and resources to help with talking to children about cancer.

Please let us know as much as possible about your bc by allowing your diagnosis line to show at the bottom of your posts. This will help people to give you advice and support.

Wishing you the best.

Caryn

mdg

So sorry about your diagnosis. I know how hard this is....this is where I was 2 years ago.  My son was only 4. I was petrified. I can tell you that the chemo was the hardest thing for me.  I did decide to do it and I used cold caps to keep my hair. My son never saw me without hair and I was able to look normal and keep my diagnosis private.  The chemo was not as bad as I imagined.  It was doable.  I was able to stay active and exercise through chemo.  I hope this helps you have faith that you will get through this OK.  Good luck....hugs!

SpecialK

jojo - As you can see from my signature line I had a lot of surgery prior to chemo, and some after.  I had 6 rounds of TCH, with Herceptin continuing for the balance of the year.  I am posting a picture below that was taken 2 days after chemo #5 at a family wedding.  Nobody knew I was in the middle of chemo - in fact, whenever I left my house and went out in public nobody could have guessed that I had breast cancer or was currently receiving chemo.  I am wearing a wig that my hairdresser styled to look like my regular hair.  My face is a littlepuffy from steroids but I think I actually look OK!  I know that facing this diagnosis is scary - the unknown is scary and you are worried about how things are going to be.  These boards are full of ladies who will be your cheerleader and you may be surprised that many of us were able to carry on during chemo with much of our normal lives.  Wishing you the best and hope this picture gives you ocnfidence that you can do this!