Stressed regarding treatment

Robin3

I'm waiting for my Oncotype Dx score. Still have to wait a week and a half. I understand with my stats a low Onco score could mean no chemo. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid to have chemo. I'm afraid not to have chemo. I'm afraid that my score will come back where I have to make a say in the decision on what to do. I've never felt so paralyzed in my entire life.  I had my lumpectomy 2 weeks ago and had nice clear margins, but it did spread to my sentinel node. Which didn't show in the mri. I'm 45 and still absorbing the fact that all these doctors are talking to ME.

mdg

I was 45 at dx too and it hit me from out of no where!  I hoped for a low score too....I too was afraid to do chemo and afraid not to do it.  Once I made the decision about chemo it was like a weight had been lifted off of me.  I opted for the chemo as I had some other concerning things in my pathology despite the low score plus my son was only 4 and I wanted to do everything I could to kick this.  I did the chemo and used cold caps to keep my hair.  Chemo was not as bad as I thought...I did not ever get any nausea.  I had a few tired and sore days but for the most part I was ok.  I managed to workout an hour a day 5 days a week through chemo and cook dinner for my family every night.  Chemo's today are far more tolerable that chemos of the past.  Just keep that in the back of your mind in case chemo is something you need to do.  Take a deep breath.....you WILL get through this.  Hugs!

Robin3

mdg  --Thank you for posting so fast. These discussion boards have been a godsend. I get to read about stuff I didn't know existed. It's also great to see other people's stories. It really is. And people are there to reach out too, but I can also hang around and lurk. Thank you for sharing your story. Hugs to you too!

mommichelle

I too was afraid of chemo.  I was 36 at diagnosis.  I had a 3 and 5 year old at the time.  I wanted to be here, I didn't want regrets and I wanted to know I did everything I could.  I had to make the decision.  Two doctor opinions said no to chemo, 1 said yes.  It was torture to not have them just say, "This is what you need to do."  I know how hard that can be.  I ended up feeling like I had to go with the one that said yes to chemo.  It was much easier than I anticipated - no nausea, but tired and I had a weird taste in my mouth for a few days after each treatment.  I am glad I did it.  If you have to make the decision, search yourself and seek a second opinion.  Only you can know what is best for you. Make a decision knowing whatever you decide you will be able to LIVE with it (and plan on being here a very long time)!    Hang in there, once you make an informed decision, you will feel much better.

Alicethecat

Hi Robin

I'm sorry you're here but you've joined a great club! The ladies on this board are awesome and will help you along the way.

In case this helps you with your decision, I had grade 3 DCIS - and also grade 3 IDC - and galloped towards chemo even though I had clear margins and no lymph or blood spread and no spread to the sentinel node.

I wanted to do everything I could - combined with a healthy diet - to stop this coming back.

Each night, I sleep well.

Best wishes and good luck

Alice

NatsFan

Robin - if you're in the US, I would suggest seeing if you can get a second opinion consult at a NCI-designated cancer center with a dedicated Breast Center.  This doesn't mean that you don't have faith in your oncologist - it simply is a way to have a second set of eyes review your case from top to bottom, and explain all your options.  You don'thave to be treated there if you don't want - it's just a second opinion consultation.  Even if they say the same thing as your current oncologist, sometimes someone else will say the same thing in a slightly different way, and that can really help you understand what they are saying.  At NCI-designated centers, their breast centers do breast cancer all day every day - they've seen it all from routine cases to the most unusual cases - that experience can work to your benefit.   

I was a clear-cut case for chemo so that wasn't a hard decision for me to make to accept the recommendation to get chemo, but I fell into a "grey area" when it came to radiation.  I had consults with two different rad oncs (one at Hopkins) who gave me the risks and benefits of rads in my case.  Both said the decision was mine.  In addition to the consults, I did a lot of research in medical journals to get my own information.  In the end I declined rads - the risks were not worth the possible benefits to me.  Having the responsibility of making that decision was the worst part of this whole ordeal, but I did my research and made the best decision I could at the time with the best information that was available to me.  That was 5 years ago and I've never regretted making the decision that I did.