how to cope! i want to live!

suzilla

Hello ladies!! My apologies for not posting for sometime....i am at home recovering from my surgery on the 17th. All went well!! And am thanful to be hear another day! I had a modified radical mastectomy on my right side and a simple mastectomy with sentinel lymph node biopsy on my left side. I had no nausea due to the anti nausea patch that was placed behind my ear, so was able to eat! Yey! Was constipated tho'.jy swelling has been going down and i am very thankful that i had a great BS!!! All the doctors and nurses were great!! I loved the fact that my beloved hubby and daughter were in my room when i was transferred to my room after recovery!!! I guess you could say i am doing pretty good since i am able to walk around, move my arms, eat, laugh, go to bathroom, and even take showers with my hubby's help . My right arm feels tingles, and numbness underneath the arm pit. Does the numbness ever go away?



And i have done research on the internet in regards to survival statistics....and it seems pretty depressing. There are times that i wonder if life is worth living?? I dont want to think about dying or leaving tnis world....there are still so many things that i would love to do and i want to be with my hubby forever! I just feel like crying at times, even tho i should be greatful for each day i have. I just feel like its not fair for me or my family or for anyone here on this board! I just want to return to my healthy strong being i once was. HOW DOES ANYONE COPE! ESPECIALLY WITH IBC!! IS THERE HOPE! CAN IT BE CURED??? Sorry im just feel depressed at the moment, and need advice and support from survivors of ibc! Or anyone whom can help with some wisdom.

liefie

Dear Suzilla,

There are IBC threads on this site where you will find lots of support. Don't get hung up on statistics, please, you are much more than a statistic. If you can post here, you are a survivor, remember that.

I have a friend who was diagnosed with IBC stage 3 almost eleven years ago. She had a double mastectomy, aggressive chemotherapy and radiation treatment. It was not easy, but she recovered from that, walks miles every day, and has been living happily ever after to this day with no recurrence. There are many more stories like hers. Grab on to the positive, and don't allow your mind to go to dark places. Of course there is always hope. No two bc patients are the same. Dr Google's info is very often dated and not accurate, so don't go there.

Anybody can die in an accident any time. Yesterday is gone, we don't know what will happen tomorrow, so today is all we have. We get life in 24 hour instalments. Make the best of each one, and let tomorrow take care of itself. Worry won't change the outcome, but it will make you miserable, so focus on the moment, and be grateful for each one. (((Big hugs!)))

ibcmets

Suzilla,

I had the same treatment you had 3.5 years ago.  I'm ER+ so I'm on Femara & Zometa for bone mets and doing well.   I hope you recover well and stay NED.  There are many people outliving the statistics.  The stats have even been moved up to 40% living past 5 years.  I'm stage IV and don't worry about stats so much as each individual is different.  I'm sure you will be monitored closely and if something comes up you can deal with it at that time.  There are many drugs that are prolonging quality of life and sometimes even stage IV can be treated as a chronic condition these days.

Live fully each day.

Terri

Nel138281

suzilla,

The further out you get from surgery and treatment and are feeling well, the less it will weigh on you mind.  I began treatment in Nov 2011 and will finish on Feb 15th.  The herceptin due to being her2+ takes a year.  I have certainly had my down, anxious moments  but am feeling better physically and emotionally every day.  The emotional piece has been the most difficult, but as I have returned to more of my typical routine everyday  life has become the focus again, not the cancer.  There are lots of stories of women living 10, 15 25 years out.  My onc is very positive and reminds me not to read the info and stats online.  They are typically about 5 years old and things have changed dramitcally.

Breathe, laugh, live repeat!!!

Be well,

Nel

Anonymous

Hi, there is plenty of hope. I am 9 years out from diagnosis and life is good. Each case of bc is unique to the individual and seems to be more so for those of us with IBC but please don't get hung up on the statistics. No one can promise you the same results they have gotten but please don't lose faith. Cancer sucks but life is still worth living.

liv-

suzilla  ((hugs)) - hope your doing well?

everthing the ladies have said is spot on. 

it takes time, the initial shock of everything and of course you are distressed but your alive today so in time you have to get on with living, when its time to die you will know but for now its not, its time to get over surgery and look forward to the future. 

best thing that i was told was that perhaps the old me has gone and theres a new me & now i realise it isnt such a bad thing.  the new me appreciates so many things that i took for granted before, now i smile more, love more and really embrace life more than i ever did before.

sure its hard but life before was hard too sometimes, its just different and we adjust to this new hard.

bon  -funny what you say about cleaning out, me too, was so embarrassed that i waste so much money on being self indulgent and would dread if someone had to clear it all out. all those clothes, shoes and handbags and perfumes, makeup.   gave heaps of things away to my girlfriends.

also bon i have trouble sleeping, nothing to do with cancer have always had trouble, will ambien knock me out for at least 6 hours?

suzilla time will heal your anxiety and like bon said there are meds to help if needed.

take care

xx