I feel like my life is over

Lily55

I am really struggling again - stopped taking the homoeopathic pills as was only a fixed time course and starting to feel worse again plus not sleeping for long chunks......constantly feel exhausted and everything is a huge effort, started counselling but not finding it that helpful as was sent away last time to write answers to questions that if I knew the answers to would not need counselling!!!!!  Tried anti deps, make me worse, tried valium started to get panicky after a couple of weeks so stopped them, cannot enjoy anything, even food or drink I used to like does not give me any sense of enjoyment or fulfilment and i force myself to eat for hunger rather than look forward to anything....

I believe in the Secret type energy whereby what you think you attract and yet I find myself constantly feeling that my life is over (I was stage IIIA diagnosed April 2012 and refused chemo for other health reasons).  I am on letrozole and have been for 7 months now, wondering if it is that making me feel like this? So now on top I think well if i am thinking this i will attract it yet another part of me does not care if I do as I hate being like this and no longer feel like me at all....... I am someone who always had lots of oestrogen - fibroids, endometriosis, awful period pains etc, culminating in a hysterectomy for enormous fibroids in the end so I do wonder if it is the lack of available oestrogen - any ideas anyone?  Or feeling the same?

dash

I'm so sorry you' re hurting so much. My life is different than it was. I like myself much better and some people much less. Sometimes I feel afraid and sometimes I feel incredibly brave. But my life didn't end with all the crap I endured. It did feel like it sometimes though. Maybe it . will again. Maybe it is knocking me down right now.----- The waves knocked me down and filled my mouth and nose and eyes with sand and salt. I stood up again and wiped all of it away. Another wave knocked me down again and filled my nose, eyes and mouth. As I stood up again, I realized more waves will come and go and each time they knock me down, I can stand up again and again. My heroine Pema Chodron said something like that. And it's true. I don't know your story but I do know I and you can stand up again. hugs