Caregiver support packages

jzog71

My surgery is coming up next week.  My husband, son and I are preparing for everything.  My husband will be my main caregiver for the first week of recovery and then my mother-in-law is coming to help the 2nd week.  She's a retired surgical nurse and will help both me and my husband.  My son is an intervert and doesn't always discuss his feelings with all of this.  He's 17 and gets a very nervous with change or issues.  I finally got him to talk to me the other day.  Said he doesn't want to hear details of the surgery, recovery, etc and just wants to know the basics.  He does not want to be at the hospital, which I'm fine with.  Several years ago I was in a bad wreck and he saw me the day after; I think that still haunts him, so I'm sensitive to that.  My husband has been amazing.  I worry about both of them though.  I've brought up support groups, but neither of them want to.  I am thankful that my husband's best friend has been checking in on both of us frequently.  My son leans alot on my parents, who he is close to and a couple of his buddies.  Plus, all of my son's teachers including the school nurse & school counselor are aware of my breast cancer.  My son has visited the counselor 2x already and she's let him know her door is always open. 

Anyway, I'd like to make them up a care package before my surgery to help them get through and just tell them thank you.  We are all going through this.  Most of the attention and focus is on me and I understand why, but want to make sure that they'll be okay through all of this too.  Does anyone have suggestions for what I can put in their care package?  I'm going to write them each a letter to put in the package and give them to them the day of surgery. 

I want to make it special and practical for things they may need or may make them feel better.

mrenee68

You might put in their favorite snacks, gum or candies. Maybe some of their favorite drinks, or bottle water. Anything that might be of comfort. My husband likes Starbucks coffee beans so I would give him that and my kids would love homemade chocolate chip cookies. Hope this helps. Good luck with your surgery!

SpecialK

Maybe a magazine or book, a DVD they might enjoy - something light and amusing.  My DH spent a lot of time in waiting rooms and downloaded movies to his ipad, so maybe a gift certificate to netflix or itunes would be good.  Maybe a gift certificate for an activity for your son and a couple of friends.  I have had a lot of surgery over the course of my treatment for BC and I also found that making meals and freezing them, stocking up on perishable groceries, paying the bills in advance, cleaning and having all the laundry done helped me relax and focus on the matter at hand rather than worrying that these things had been left undone.  I had a BMX on Monday, came home from the hospital on Wednesday morning, and my husband went back to work the following Monday.  I did not need any assistance beyond that point, except to be driven to post-op appointments.  Something that might be good also would be to pre-arrange take out food if your husband is not at home in the kitchen!