Does anyone feel like this?

dani_katze141914

Does anyone feel like this?

dani_katze141914

Do you ever feel like physically disabled? I feel that way and many times I would like to have someone that could take care of me, but at the same time I don't want to feel this way.

At the same time I feel kind of sorrow of myself, and keep talking others about the side effects I have to experience due tamoxiphen, and would like others to understand and be supportive, I would like to go back to normal life...

On one hand I feel that somehow people like us are going through a sort of disability, because we have to loose some part of our bodies to keep alive. And we still live and none see from the outside that loss, but we know and we have to deal with it inside...

So I feel sorrow and pain, but at the same time I would like to not take this sooo seriously in order to move on with life and try to do everything as normal as I can do...

For instance... I had thyroid cancer when I was 18 and I thought it wasn't a big deal... until I read a few years ago that it's normal to feel depressed after that and feel less energy than ever. Well, I didn't know that for many years and I thought that depression was my fault at all. Well, for years I just tried to live the way I used to. I just didn't understand why I feel so sleepy and depressed all the time...

But after BC and now that I'm older (I'm 38), I would like to have supportive people around me, people that care... when real world is not like this. At the same time I feel sorrow of my condition, I want to move on... but I feel it's hard... my mood and energy goes up and down...

I'll go back to gym next week. This is something that I used to love, but now sometimes I feel that I have to force myself to do it...

Does anyone feel like this? What do you do?

dani_katze141914

I would like to feel that I am over this issue... to leave it behind... but it still there....

I've just called to a health insurance I've because they rejected the refund of the last surgery (nipple reconstruction). I talked to a man, and it was kind of embarrasing for me...

Then I called my dad who's been very supportive. But he's a man too... and he's been overprotecting as a father and with BC even more. I hate when he is calling every day to check if I just arrived save at my apartment... I understand that he worries and for me it's good, but sometimes he doesn't like me to do things on my own.

So when we talked he asked if he could join me tomorrow (I will have my tatoo) but I want to go alone. He got upset and I got more upset... I don't understand my anger...