Waiting Game

Analee

We went to the doctor today and just when I thought things we would be on our way to surgery soon and getting this disease out of my daughter, now the doctor suggests we do generic testing which will probably take 2 weeks.  He said the cancer is slow growing and 2 weeks will not make a difference  and that is was curable.  There is no history of breast cancer in our immediate family.   My daughter has a growing lump and her lymph nodes are involved and we dont know what is doing to her body.  He also ordered an MRI and body scan which we also have to wait for insurance authorization.  This is all crazy.  I dont understand.  I really thought the doctor would schedule immediate surgery and take it from there, we dont even know what grade it is.  He is a highly known doctor with a good reputation so we dont know if to go to someone else now.

SpecialK

I am sorry that you find yourself here, so worried for your daughter - I have a 23 year-old daughter and can't imagine how it would feel to be in your shoes.  I have been in your daughter's shoes though, and I can tell you please don't panic with the delays for testing authorization.  It is very common to have this kind of delay - I was diagnosed on 9/27 and did not have surgery until 11/1.  If you look at the sig lines for many of us you will see this time of time lag.  A delay of several weeks will not have an effect, and the information derived from these tests will inform surgical and treatment decisions.  My surgeon ordered both an MRI and genetic testing (I am adopted) prior to my BMX, this is pretty standard.  MRI imaging will provide a more detailed look at the breast (or both breasts) and give a better indication of size and location.  This is the most difficult time period in the breast cancer experience - once this testing is done and more answers are in hand you will feel better going forward with a treatment plan.  I know this is hard, but it is important to do this additional testing prior to surgery.

Linda-Ranching-in-the-mTns

My first dx was May 30th -- and I didn't have a lumpectomy until 8/24.

I am so glad, looking back, that things advanced slowly -- because all along the way I was able to research, adjust through my shock, evaluate with more clarity -- so that by the time I finally had a mastectomy in November -- I was completely comfortable that it was necessary, and that I had collected enough information to make my very best choices.

As hard as it may be -- the very best support you can give your daughter is to be there TO LISTEN -- and not offer a lot of opinions. None of you (your daughter's docs included) have enough information yet to make these decisions -- which will last a life-time. This is why the docs want more tests. They have trained for YEARS and have experience... and the most important thing to remember is that your daughter will make her own decisions... and your opinions could be hurtful/difficult for her to deal with.

You are very intelligent to come here to voice your concerns -- here you can gather more information (from those of us who have been there) about how possibly to best support your daughter -- and deal with your own fears.

Breast cancer is not a death sentence. It is one of the most successfully treated cancers.

Cancer is not some outside disease that we 'catch'. It is created by our own bodies -- we each carry cancer cells -- they are only our own cells gone a little amuck. They are over-achievers -- forgetting to die -- continuing to eat and grow. Our own immune systems are equipped to deal with these cells (and virus and bacteria) by encapsulating the stray cells, then disposing of them. So -- so far, it sounds as if your daughter's own immune system is doing its job ... and another couple weeks of testing will probably make no difference at all.

My own cancer has probably been in my body for 10 years or more (according to my oncologist and the radiation expert I consulted).. and yet my tumors were tiny, and only 'Grade 1, Stage 2). Two weeks -- or as in my case: 3 months until the first surgery -- is only a blink of an eye.

This is a time of potential closeness you can share with your daughter. What she needs most now is for you to stay calm and be supportive of any/every choice she makes. 

One surprising thing I can tell you is that even with my diagnosis of breast cancer, and 6 full months of doctor appointments, surgeries, tests, ending with the removal of both breasts -- I can honestly say that 2012 was the BEST year of my life.

I am wishing you peace in your own mind, so that you can BE peaceful support for your daughter... no matter what comes.

Linda