My Mom just got diagnosed

joylene

I don't know where to begin... 

My mom recieved a phone call from her primary Doctor today and was told that they found cancer in her biopsy results. The surgeon wil be contacting her within the next few days and she should be seeing said surgeon by next week. I don't know any more details because "all the results are not in yet". I can't stop crying, I can't wrap my mind around this. I don't know how to be strong for her. I am 34 and my mom is 67. We are a very close family. I keep hearing stay positive, but I don't know if I can. Can anyone tell me please, what can I do to help her and support her through this?

Joanne_53

Joylene, what a horrible time for your mom and you. Right now until you see the surgeon you can be there for hugs and tears and laughter. She will need so done to go to appointments for that,extra pair of ears ..... Right now you are overwhelmed as is she ... Fear and panic. Once she sees the surgeon then things will start to get answered.

Joanne

Ariom

Hi there Joylene, just saw your post and thought I would answer you as a Mum who was just diagnosed in November with a Daughter your age who is there for me too.

I just had a mastectomy and sentinal node biopsy done last Wednesday. I had a diagnosis of DCIS, but haven't received my final pathology results since my surgery. I am almost 60, and my only Daughter is nearly 35. She has been here for the past few days to help me out. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have her here right now, and for the next week. The role reversal has been quite funny, with her telling me off for doing too much, and fussing around me.

I can understand your fear, totally. I have never been so scared before, the fear of the unknown is just brutal. Your Mum is so lucky to have you, and she will need you through this. I discovered that the fear was really misplaced for me because nothing that has happened since my diagnosis was in any way as bad as my fear made it out to be. Really!

I know it is hard, but try to stay focused for your Mum. Everything happens fairly quickly, and there are decisions to be made, be there for her while she processes it all. It can be a bit of a sensory overload, but once you have the plan in place it will feel better. You'll both feel a bit more in control.

You have definitely come to the right place. There are many wise women here, far more educated on this subject than I, but I am sure that once you have all the information about your Mother's diagnosis they will gather around and answer any questions you may have. If there is anything you want to ask me, just ask away.

All I can say is stay close to your Mum and support her, you're a wonderful Daughter and she will do so much better knowing you're there for her.

Keep strong! and let us know how things are going. 

 

joylene

Thank you Joanne and Ariom! Your words help. My feelings are all over the place. I am trying to keep it together in front of my kids and my husband is tip toeing around me. I don't think he knows what to do either. I keep imagining worst case scenarios even though I know medicine has improved by leaps and bounds. My mom owns a preschool so I work with her everyday. I also bought the house next door to her 3 years ago. So when I say close I really mean it. My dad is being so strong and positive, I feel helpless. Thanks again, I will keep you updated as soon as we know more. 

chrissyb

Joylene as a mom to two girls I too understand your fear not just for her but what the ramifications can be for you too. The best thing you can do for her and yourself, is to try to keep the normal routine that you have everyday going in the same manner as it does everyday. Yes, a diagnosis of breast cancer is not good and does send you for a loop and there is a lot of information that will be given and will need to be processed. Go with your mom as a second pair of ears as there will be much that she will not remember when she talks to the docs.



Once she sees the surgeon a treatment plan will be discussed and finalised once her surgery is done and the full pathology report is in. One day at a time is always a good way to live and especially now.



Love n hugs. Chrissy