January 2013 chemo group

honeybair

duckiedee, I am so sorry that your radiation treatments are a source of such misery for you.  I had radiation treatments 11 years ago after my original breast cancer, DCIS, stage 0.  I exprerienced extreme depression while undergoing those treatments and began taking antidepressants after completing treatment which really helped me. After completing chemo the middle off June, I will undergo a modified radical mastectomy in late July and when healed from that, radiation once again on the same side where I received it before.

My heart is with you.  Sending you a big hug. 

cancernoway

My final chemo is on May 13 and I'm so looking forward to it.  I know that I still have to have an infusion every 3 weeks until next January, but it won't be like chemo.  I know I will have a week of drop ass and yucky SE's, but knowing it will be the last time I have to do that is making me giddy.  I know that Rad's are next on my list of fun things to do this summer, but knowing that they can't be as bad as chemo is making me say bring them on.  I work in a hospital and the place I'm getting my rads is next door so it's not inconvenient for me to get them.  I've already met the team that will be doing them and they are so nice and on the ball.  I'm sorry Duckie that your team is not so sweet and this process is degrading to you.  Keep your eye on the end, you are so much closer.  I can't wait for July to come, but to be honest, I'll be happy when Monday is finished and then the next week.  That is the finish line I'm looking forward to the most.  I too have many things planned this summer and NOTHING is going to stop me.  I've been set back enough and I'm going to live life to the fullest from here on out. 

Wheels - What kind of horses do you have?  I showed Paints and Quarters up until 2 years ago in Halter, Western Pleasure, Reining, Barrels and Team Penning.  I got really nervous after I had my colon removed and stopped showing and went to strictly trail riding.  It didn't seem fair to have these great show horses just riding trails so I sold them to a great family that is showing them on a regular basis.  They bought them all so they are all together still and they have three kids who are doing fantastic with them.  It makes me feel so much better about selling them knowing that they are doing what they love with great people who are so great with them.  We stay in touch, so I know what they are up to and all of their accomplishments.  The mom in the bunch is one of those people that has an animal until it dies, so I'm pretty sure they will be with them until the end.  It warms my heart.  I can't say that I don't miss them every single day because I do, they were family.  I also can't say that I won't ever own another horse, but to be honest, right now, I'm glad that I don't.  I don't think I could do it with everything going on.  We live on a little over 5 acres so we keep them here and I'm a bit obsessive compulsive about my barn.  I've scoped out some of the horse sites and you never know what this summer may bring.  It's always in my blood, I've been riding since I was a little girl.  Plus we show cars on the weekends so it becomes difficult which one to pick.  And with hay around here at $10 a bail, cars are cheaper, lol.  When we aren't showing, we still hit a few of the shows and I never miss the Quarter Horse Congress.  Good times. 

cancernoway

Duckie - Please keep you chin up and know that we all love you and are here always!  A big hug to you!

hope49

Duckie - I'm so sorry to hear your feeling down, and cancernoway is right, we're here for you and I know you will get through it all in your own time.  I'm sorry your rads staff is not very kind - I found that somewhat with my chemo nurses.  I have to say I feel so lucky that every person who has treated me has been incredibly wonderful - I go first thing in the morning and they get my day off to a great start...I really will miss going there in a strange way.  I do understand about the simulation though, although they were nice I felf very vunerable and it was a big reminder to me that 'oh yeah, I had breast cancer'  I was so sad that day. It's a tough journey and we each have to deal with things in our own way and own time...I hope it gets better for you soon ((HUGS)))

duckiedee

Thank you, ladies, for your supportive comments. I have been trying my best to turn my attitude around and to make the best of a not-so-pleasant situation. I've tried being more chatty with the technicians, asking how their day is going, making sure to call them by name (even when they don't seem to care to know mine), etc...  Basically ANYTHING to make this experience a little less cold and impersonal. I've had varying degrees of success. Some respond nicely to me, but I finally decided that a few of them just have "zero" personality. Nothing I can do to fix that!

I meet with the radiation onc tomorrow for my weekly check-in. Last week I was so nervous that I forgot to ask a few questions. So this week I am going in with a list in my pocket. This doctor is very young and male - the only doctor I have that is not a woman. I guess he looks at saggy boobs all day long, but I still feel weird having to drop my gown and have him gawk at me. If I felt like I had more of a sense of trust with him maybe I wouldn't feel so strange. He was simply the dr my breast surgeon sent me to so I complied - even though I prefer female doctors in general.

BUT... the last few days have been slightly better I guess. I just cannot wait to have radiation behind me. This daily grind will get to you! Today was my 7th treatment (out of 30), and I can feel some of the fatigue creeping in. My skin has been a little itchy, and I'm getting those sharp little pains like the nerve pains I had following lumpectomy. Other than that, so far so good.

Thanks again for the encouragement. Like Dory said, "Just keep swimming...."

LeeA

duckiedee, I've been thinking about you.  Positive thoughts your way, friend.  

kingboo

Had my 2nd radiation session today.  The doc won't let me have the accelerated one.  So 30 sessions.

The total in/out is less than 15 min, my drive time is longer.  The actual radiation is at most 2 min.  I am given the Udder cream to apply twice a day.  So far so good.  I understand it is cumulative. So hoping my skin will not crack. 

I have to thank everyone on this board.  You are so supportive.  I gained a lot of knowledge and information.  With your support I feel I am not alone, we are all going to make it, we are just going through the process and will come out at the other end of the tunnel soon.

Thanks again.

Jean

hope49

Hi everyone, just checking in!  I finished round 17 of 28 rads today and still a piece of cake.  the only thing that makes me tired is because I get up at 5 am so I can work out and get there by my 7 am appointment. This far in the doctors and techs are surprised and pleased at how great my skin looks...I'm really just using the generic lotion and Aquaphor they told me to, but I was thinking maybe it is due to the wise advice the Lymphadema therapist gave me after surgery.  She said the best thing to do for yourself before and during chemo was to stay hydrated inside and out...I tried to drink a gallon of water every day and lotioned myself up from head to toe morning and night. And massaging the foobs to ward off scar tissue. Not sure if that's the key but I wanted to pass it along for those still in treatment and heading into rads.  I hope its as good an experience for everyone else.  

ywheels22

Cancernoway: I show hunters and jumpers. My first was thoroughbred I showed in the adult amateur jumpers. Now I have a 5 year old TB/dutch warmblood cross that will do the hunters. He is still green and my trainer has been doing him since January so he is just looking great. His first show is tomorrow. I'm not expecting much on his first time out but I"m looking forward to day at a horse show. I loved the jumpers but I took a few crashes that sent me to the ER. Then I had my son and decided my days of jumping height at speed were done.

Duckidee: hang in there!

Zorina

Thank you for the video link, Nicole.  It is a reminder that there is more to heal and that we need to give ourselves time and space to heal. 

Went to the RO last week.  I walked out thinking:  I don't to be a cancer patient again. Funny thing is,  I cannot remember a lot of details about chemo anymore. I suppose that mentally I am not ready to deal with it.  So, I am moving forward to the next treatment, Rads, and then Tamox. 

cancernoway

Wheels - Good luck tomorrow!! I had a thoroughbred that I did endurance trail with and loved it. He was a sweetie. We rescued him from the race track at 3 and he loved trail. We had a lot of success with showing and I loved it. I didn't do a lot of english but I did some. I showed in versatility for years and that was part of it. Have a great time tomorrow and let us know how you do.

ablydec

Just letting people know that while finishing is awesome, it's easy to forget that the side effects don't go away just by the snap of a finger.  I'm three weeks out (getting my first Herceptin alone tomorrow) and, while I have some more energy, still got completely exhausted walking a couple of miles (including up a hill).  And my nails and fingers are still crumby.

   But most surprising of all is that now that this ordeal is coming to a close, I've been starting to have worry thoughts about the future, much more than I did during the last six months (about recurrence, "grade 3", why on earth is my Oncotypx DX number so darned high, et. etc.).  Stuff I can't do anything about, so I should probably just leave it alone.  It's as if it (the fear) waited for a quiet moment, when everything got calmer, to rear its ugly head.       But this too shall pass.

Nicole503

 ablydec ~ Nice job putting into words what life after chemo is like.  I really agree that there are emotions/thoughts that didn't see the light of day much when we were in the thick of chemo, but now that there is more quiet and less treatment, they are arising. I am having the same experience.

I'm 6 weeks PFC and my energy is defiitely better.  Hang in there.  This morning I swam for 30 minutes and still had enough energy to walk up our hill after dropping my car off at the body shop.  I don't think I could have done that 2 weeks ago.  It DOES get better!

Will you be doing tamoxifen?  I find it a bit comforting as I pop the pill every night, knowing that if there are any breast cancer cells still hiding in the vast body of Nicole, this little nightly pill will starve them.

Wishing you well.

diana52

Hi Bryona.

Just wanted you to know that you will not be alone.  I am trying the fast too, but am going to try for 5 days before and two days after chemo.  There are two clinical trials going on right now.  If you go to clinicaltrials.gov, go to search and put in 'fast before chemo' you can read what information they have available.  Good luck...

martha323

duckiedee, I sure wish that you had a more compassionate group of people assisting you through radiation. I'm not there yet - I think I start at the very end of July. The 'break' between chemo and rads may renew a little physical energy, but it isn't enough time to begin to sort through feelings about the physical and emotional/psychological effects of our experience with breast cancer. We're so tired through chemo. And then our bodies, which we can shelter and protect with clothing during chemo, are exposed, scrutinized, marked, tatooed, and moved around by a new group of people. If the radiation staff doesn't realize their profound role in the healing experience of every person they touch, then they don't belong anywhere near patients.

I remember how I felt while in pre-op before my mastectomy - if the many people who examined me that afternoon hadn't been sensitive and very personable, I would have had a difficult time remaining somewhat centered - I was pretty shaky! I have a friend who feels that rads has been the hardest part of her treatment - she hates it and that's just the way it is. However, like you, she shows up and does it. What  courage and strength you have to go everyday to have your treatment! Bravo!

My thoughts are with you and you must celebrate in a very special way when you are through!!

Best wishes to everyone for a peaceful weekend, Martha

martha323

duckiedee, I sure wish that you had a more compassionate group of people assisting you through radiation. I'm not there yet - I think I start at the very end of July. The 'break' between chemo and rads may renew a little physical energy, but it isn't enough time to begin to sort through feelings about the physical and emotional/psychological effects of our experience with breast cancer. We're so tired through chemo. And then our bodies, which we can shelter and protect with clothing during chemo, are exposed, scrutinized, marked, tatooed, and moved around by a new group of people. If the radiation staff doesn't realize their profound role in the healing experience of every person they touch, then they don't belong anywhere near patients.

I remember how I felt while in pre-op before my mastectomy - if the many people who examined me that afternoon hadn't been sensitive and very personable, I would have had a difficult time remaining somewhat centered - I was pretty shaky! I have a friend who feels that rads has been the hardest part of her treatment - she hates it and that's just the way it is. However, like you, she shows up and does it. What  courage and strength you have to go everyday to have your treatment! Bravo!

My thoughts are with you and you must celebrate in a very special way when you are through!!

Best wishes to everyone for a peaceful weekend, Martha

ablydec

Nicole503, yes, I'll be doing tamoxifen, but not yet.  First I have Herceptin, every three weeks until January.  I don't think the Tamoxifen starts until then.  So I can do the same positive thinking about the Herceptin, and I will.

    Did anyone else get the peripheral neuropathy - in your hands - at the very end of the chemo, like I did?

Bets4bama

Hey beautiful ladies of January! I'm a newbie here, as you can tell. I can't believe I'm just joining this board, but I only recently found y'all. Wish I had found you in January! Anyway, I just wanted to check in to say this site has been a big help....when I did decide to start reading. When I was diagnosed in November, I decided not to spend a lot of time on the Internet simply because there's just so much out there, I felt I needed to just trust God and my docs with my treatment. That's why I like this site.....the women here are REAL people who have been there and done that! So I'm here now to ask a few questions ( not necessarily tonight!), and to offer encouragement whenever possible. My 4 nasty chemos are over (thank you Jesus!) and I'm almost through with my rads....only 7 more to go! Herceptin will of course last till next January, but I almost don't even count that. So you see, I'm on the downside of this thing! And boy has it ever been a ride!



I especially want to offer a word of encouragement to duckidee, I guess because I feel like we are almost neighbors...I'm in Birmingham. I hate it so bad that your rads experience has been so tough. My rad techs have been as wonderful as yours have been awful! Go figure! On Friday, my fav one, Richard, told me he would not be back next week :-(. He drove EVERYDAY from Tennessee just to work there! I almost cried because he was such a caring person. I will truly miss him. So hang in there ....the light at the end of the tunnel is starting to glow a little I hope.



I'll share more of my experiences later, but just wanted to say hi to all and God bless you sisters this week!

hope49

Bets4bama,

It's nice to hear from you and I know you'll find a lot of love and support here with this incredible group of women. Many of us have migrated to a private Facebook group to more easily continue the ongoing discussion. If you'd like to join us there you can let Skigirl know and she can invite you. Same offer to anyone else here who hasn't joined us yet -- we'd love to have you with us!

Bets4bama

Hope49- thanks so much for letting me know about the FB group. I'll contact ski girl

( skimommi?) so I can get an invite to the group. The love and support never ends does it?

I've been having mouth ulcers for the last week and of course the rad techs tell me they have nothing to do with radiation and its really too late for me to be having them from chemo since my last chemo was March 19. But I wasn't so sure...especially since most of my eyelashes fell out two weeks ago! What a bummer to make it all the way through chemo and keep my lashes AND never have mouth ulcers and now two months later I get these side effects???? Finally yesterday the rad nurse ( one I had not seen) told me the mouth ulcers were a delayed reaction! Thank you very much!!! These treatments really do a number on our bodies.....for weeks afterward! So here I am asking for advice on mouth ulcers. I got the Magic Mouthwash from my MO....it numbs my mouth for about 15 minutes and that's it. I want something that will make them GO AWAY!

Thanks for letting me fuss a little.....if any of you are going through rads now, you know what a pain ( literally) that can be! But I've only got four more and I'm done!!!! Yippeeee!!!

Betsy

Anonymous

Bets4bama~~I take acidophilus or just eat yogurt. Also (this works wonders) rinse your mouth several times a day with a mixture of 1 TBS salt & 1 TBS baking soda in a quart of water. I did it every time I went to the bathroom. Swish it around in your mouth for about 30 seconds then spit it out.



Blessings

Paula

Bets4bama

Soteria205- thanks so much for the info......someone else told me about the salt/baking soda thing today at my center. I just got through doing it! Hope it helps. And the idea of doing it every time I go potty will just make me do it! Great idea!!! And I had forgotten about the yogurt. Thanks! And thank goodness for these boards!

Betsy

ablydec

Ok guys, I thought we were trying to finish up - why are we starting with new side effects now? I had my last chemo four weeks ago.  Now I just looked down and see my ankles are completely swollen.  Is there anything about water retention in the side effect profile?  For what drug? I'm going to see my family doctor tomorrow, because sometimes I feel that the oncologist is so busy with life and death issues that I hesitate to ask about the "little things". 

hope49

Ablydec, one of our other ladies recently said her doctor thinks there's some swelling due to lymphadema in the lower extremeties and she's going to go for lymphatic massage.  Might be something for you to look into...also be sure you are continuing to drink lots of water - seems maybe counterintuitive, but you need to keep flusing things out months after treatment from what I've learned.  And don't hesitate to contact your MO - that's what he/she's there for.  Let us know what you find out, and good luck!

Anonymous

I had swelling for a couple days mid-week after each Taxol until I got to tx 10, 11, & 12. Then I started staying swollen all week. Feet & ankles. At every appointment with the onc or N/P they asked if I had swelling. They don't seem to be too concerned. It is a more rare SE from the taxanes.

Since I finished taxol last Friday, I hoping this goes away soon.



Paula

Bets4bama

Ablydec- same thing happened to me! I never once had any swelling while doing chemo, but afterward, yes. And it seemed to go along wih the achy legs and feet. Happened more often after I had been sitting for long periods. Like traveling or sitting at a restaurant. Had to sometimes take lasic. And then eyelashes fell out. And now I have the mouth sores! My last chemo was march 19 and I never had any of these particular SE's. I still think it has something to do with radiation, but of course the rad techs and onc say no. Are you doing radiation? It's just another necessary form of poison/torture!!! Lol! Good luck!

ablydec

Bets4bama - I don't have to do radiation (because I ended up doing the BMX), but I am continuing with Herceptin, and just started the Tamoxifen. I wondered if the swelling was related to that, but I JUST started, (and it's supposedly not a big deal) so I doubt it.  Good luck to you too!

Bets4bama

Ablydec - Sometimes I think the SEs just keep hanging around. Achy legs in particular. I've heard others mention it. I do Herceptin too, but I don't think it's that. I don't know anything about tamoxifen since I won't have to do that. Good luck to you too!

LeeA

I saw a direct correlation between the aching (and burning) legs and my hemoglobin count.  When my hemoglobin was at its lowest is when my legs felt the most like painful concrete posts. 

MandyNJ

Hi everyone! I Know most of you have moved to FB but wanted to check in. I go for my last treatment of Abraxane on Tuesday! Abraxane has been much kinder than taxol. It has A LOT of bone and muscle pain but it's not nausea so it's fine w me. It lasts a few days. My strength is back and I'm able to do a lot. Work is calling now too wanting me back so I think I'm going back part time in July while I go through radiation. Haven't found an RO yet but do have a consult scheduled. My husband and kids are healthy and well and I hope you all are too!